When the one you love isn't ready to join you..
 

I know it's MY journey but I'm in love with someone who doesn't see addiction as I do. I am consumed with thoughts and emotions regarding sobriety and it's hard not to be able to express myself to him in a way he'd understand. I can only communicate like that with the people from my group or people wanting to grow..

Letting go
 

That's just basically it, it's either accept it and deal with the dented energy, or let him go and continue on.. but I feel like I need him right now - ugh -

Hi Daisy - you've posted in the chat forum which is not the same as the chat room - it's really just an administrative forum.

I'll move you to Newcomers forum, for more response :)

The chat room portal (at least on my pc) is right under where it says 'Welcome'

D

The really good thing about place like this is there's an unending stream of support Daisy.

This community is great - maybe we can help when there's little or no support at home?

D

you may also get something out of this thread :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-drinker.html

Difficult one. I feel for you.

It may be he isn't willing to try to understand addiction, but is he willing to support you in your recovery?

I think I may be in a similar situation. My spouse doesn't seem to think my problem is as serious as I do and isn't the supportive type (getting emotional, talking about things, so on so forth). So it's been a little difficult trying find a good support structure for when things get tough, or even to get the ball rolling.

Hope is there
 

That's where I am.

My husband is VERY supportive. At the same time he doesn't understand why I can't just say "no". For him it feels like I am a moral failure. I must just be "bad". When I tell him that I can't help it...he says I'm not trying hard enough and I must be full of it...

Maybe he has a point. I drank at lunch today...I could have said no. I could chosen differently. But I didn't.

There is a part of me that thinks I'm just a piece of ****. I CAN help it, but I CHOOSE not to.

Not sure what to think. Maybe it's true. Maybe there is no hope for me.

But I read on here, I've gone to some meetings and it makes me think there IS hope. Other people have done it!

My next goal...dont' drink before my meeting at 17:30.

I don't know if I can do it, but the fact that I want to gives me hope that maybe there is a way for me to be sober.

I was like that newly sober as well. I was on this site hours and hours every day so that I could communicate with other people who understand. I wanted to be able to talk about it with my wife, too, but that never seemed to go very well. She doesn't have an alcohol problem. She doesn't 'get it'. It was very frustrating.

I'm glad I didn't get rid of her, though. We'll be celebrating our 25th anniversary in a few months.

Best of Luck on Your Journey. :ring

I'm in the same place. The reality for me is that I needed to find my tribe of people who were just like me. I did find them over time and I talk about recovery-related issues with them vs. in such detail with my partner. For me it was like being pregnant....the people that got most what I was going through were people who were or had been pregnant. It doesn't mean I didn't talk with people who weren't pregnant....there were just some issues that only people who had been pregnant would understand.

Daisy, I feel for you. My husband doesn't view his addiction as a problem, and so he doesn't care to talk to me about it or support me in my decision to quit. Right now, I don't care. I'm doing this for me... not him. I found SR for support and now I'm going to check into meetings (including Al Anon)... Hopefully, someday he will want to join me. If not, that's fine with me right now. That's why I'm here.

Wishing you the best :grouphug:

My experience with my husband when I was sober before was his resentment that I wasn't his drinking buddy anymore. I literally separated myself as much as possible. I stayed in the house and did my things, like clean and cook and the kid and the bills. He stayed out in his mancave (garage) and drank, smoked, and watched Netflix. Even though we still did some things together like have dinner, he became increasingly angry.
I've literally chosen him over my health the past few years and it's a sad thing to be there. I hope we both find the strength we need for ourselves.