Letsgo

Hello

I’m new to this site…thanks for having me. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I need to do something about my alcohol intake. Here’s my situation…

I come from a family of alcoholics (mainly grandparents on both sides) and alcohol has been a big part of my life since I was a teenager. My social circles have always been based around alcohol. About 15 years ago I started to suspect my drinking may be different than others. I seemed to lose my ability to think clearly (relative to others around me) when I was drinking. I would start to dread drinking with others because it took a lot of effort to focus on the conversation and I wasn’t sure if I was making an ass out of myself. So…I started drinking alone. I’ve gone through cycles over the past 10+ years where I drink almost every night and other times where I keep it to weekend and maybe one night during the week. I’ve started smoking weed on the weekends when I drink. I’ve also gone through a couple periods in the last few years where I haven’t drank for 4 to 6 weeks (which is hard for the first week but becomes easier). But, overall, alcohol impacts my life in a very negative way and I think I’m ready to make a change.

I truly believe that living sober will greatly enhance my life but it also scares me a bit. What will I do for a social life? How will I fill my evenings when I would usually be drinking? How will I deal with it at work which is never short on happy hour invitations and parties where alcohol is involved?

Here’s my question for the board. How should I get started? I’m not opposed to AA but not sure that’s where I want to start. I’ve never talked to an alcohol counselor before. Is that where I should start and work with he/she to come up with a plan?

Thanks for listening and appreciate any and all advice you can give. Thank you!

Merigold

I'm new too and asking similar questions. I drink alone for similar reasons. I'm deeply ashamed, I'm a drunk! Pretty sure that us being here is hopeful though. Been to a few aa meetings , I find them helpful as I feel less alone. Hopung it will "click" and work for me.

soberclover

I think your questions are all similar to the ones so many of us here have asked ourselves - getting sober does require all types of changes in our life and it can seem scary at first. What I found is that once I removed alcohol from my life and made the commitment to stay alcohol-free, I was as committed to figuring out how to continue to live my life alcohol-free. What I mean is that, you'll be able to figure out a response that fits for you and your situation when asked to go out for a work function. Many of us decided to stay away from work functions and anything alcohol-related for quite awhile.

For me, I found having a counselor was really important. There are all kinds of literature out there about recovery that you could read. For me, I eventually needed the real-deal talks that happen within the AA meetings. There are, however, all types of supports (especially here on SR!) for figuring out how this whole sobriety thing works. I'm so grateful I don't have to have the chaos of drinking in my life anymore.

Surf around here on SR and you are bound to find out all kinds of information and support

Letsgo

Thanks, soberclover! How would you recommend I find a counselor? Simple google search? Unfortunatley, I don't know anyone (anyone I'm comfortable confiding in anyways) who's gone through this and can make recommendations.

Thank you for the reply!!

christyham

I too have battled my drinking habits for years. I wasn't sure about AA and one of the guys in here told me about AVRT you should go on to the website and take a look. I have only looked at it yesterday myself and I seem to get it and like the concept just praying it works for me.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Letsgo!!

FreeOwl

Hi... and welcome.

You already have gotten a start!!! Posting on here, asking these questions, making these admissions to yourself and to others who understand.... these are all ACTIONS and you deserve a hearty congratulations for having taken the initiative to pursue them.

To continue, AA is a nicely-structured program. It gives you a lot of good insight (especially if you choose to get a Big Book and read it) and a chance to hear others' stories. I enjoyed it and valued it and still greatly value it as a piece of my overall sobriety. The tricky bit may be that you might find it's "not for you" for a number of reasons, or you may find "I'm not like THEM" gets in the way. My own experience has been that once I got beyond those barriers and looked at AA as a way to learn more about alcoholism and sobriety, versus a THOU SHALT or a sentence of some sort - I discovered a wealth of support, information, insight, togetherness and actions that all helped me on my journey of sobriety.

It may indeed not be 'for you' - but from what you've already shared there is enough in your own life story that shows you could benefit from hearing others' stories of what alcohol did to their lives, and how their lives improved from sobriety and how they did it. All of those are available with AA....

Lest I sound like a zealot, however, I'll also share that therapy with a good counselor was incredibly vital to my recovery. None of that was even focused on drinking. It was all about self confidence, anxiety, fears, anger, resentment, grief and my own personal growth.

Exercise.... having a routine and a regimen and a physical outlet was really important and remains so.

Togetherness. At first a choice of sobriety can feel limiting and isolating. Especially early on when social choices may seem limited while trying to avoid drinking-centric events and pursuits. So - picking up volunteerism, service to others, trying new hobbies where you can intereact with people in a non-drinking venue.

These are all just ideas for 'where to start'. A lot of other good ideas on this thread, too. Bottom line though is just this; Start by CHOOSING sobriety, today... and then by taking one or two clear ACTIONS to honor and reinforce that choice today.

Then, do that again tomrrow..... et cetera. Everyone's journey of sobriety unfolds a little differently, but everyone's journey - if successful - involves just two simple things; CHOICE, and ACTION.

CHOOSE - Sobriety
ACT - to honor it
Repeat

NewRomanMan

Let'sgo, I had the same worries. But 22 months sober and I can honestly say I have so much more fun sober. Obviously, I don't do all of the same things I used to, I don't hang out in bars anymore every night like I used to, but the quality of day to day living with a clear head far outweighs anything I might be "missing" with the drinking crowd. I wouldn't go back for anything. The biggest benefit of all was learning that for me, the alcohol wasn't the real issue. It was my thinking. Once I discovered that I was my own problem and started to work on myself and being the best me I could be, my life got so much better, the urge to drink just kind of disappeared. I know it sounds far fetched, but it's the truth. Good luck to you!

Letsgo

Thank you, FreeOwl!! It sounds like you started with AA and then incorporated a counselor to further improve your life, correct? Thank you for the additional recommendations as well. I'm going to ramp up the exercise to keep my head clear.

Forward12

Getting started is confusing and can seem overwhelming, but there are countless paths to find your way. Some find attending AA/smart or other in person meetings helpful, others with an addiction specialist. Others may just keep reading this forum, doing self-help recovery, reading, exercise, taking up new hobbies, keeping a journal, etc...
You can sort through and see what looks like the best option to keep you going, and run with it.