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Don't know what to do

Old 11-26-2016, 12:14 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Christy ham-- sounds like a good decision to put it down for good. There are many different approaches that can work, once you take alcohol off the table. If you spend some time reading around this site, you'll see the many ways people go about it, AA, SMART, AVRT ... these are a few. Some people just read and post on SR for support, and/or read helpful books. My suggestion would be to explore and find the things that make sense to you and work for you. Best wishes.
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Old 11-26-2016, 12:25 PM
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I don't feel like I can go to an AA meeting. If anyone else has any good tips on links on the site. Books to read etc please let me know. God I feel so down right now. Feel bad for my family I have just wasted my day being so depressed and anxious.
Tonight's sleep will be awful.
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Old 11-26-2016, 12:29 PM
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'Monkey on My Shoulder' and 'Living Sober' were both very useful books for me.
I got both of them via Amazon.
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Old 11-26-2016, 12:51 PM
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This is a good link here (it's from "Under the Influence.")

It will help you understand that your body is not ever going to be able to process alcohol. It's the physiological explanation - or some of it, anyway. The book is really worth reading, too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
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Old 11-26-2016, 02:52 PM
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I remember as if it were yesterday that
very night in August 1990, I spent in rehab
after a full day of my family pulling an
intervention on me, calling for help,
then finally getting a court order to
have me picked up by the authorities
and driving to the rehab hospital after
I took a hand full of pills soon after
returning from a night club in the
wee hours of the morning.

I was late once again coming home
to my little family, 2 little ones and
my then husband of 8 yrs from a nite
out to listen to music and be around
others that drank like I did.

It was just that very Feb 1990 when
I was on my way home from that very
club at 2 am when I must have blacked
out at the wheel and ran off the road
less than a mile from my home, hitting
a concrete culvert sitting on top the
ground.

I don't recall the accident. I don't recall
my one and only ride in the EMS to the
hospital where I spent 10 day with a punctured
lung, punctured spleen which had to be
removed so I wouldn't bleed to death
along with numerous broken ribs, contusions,
chin sewn back on.....just a complete mess.

The entire time I was healing I didn't
drink any alcohol but only took the meds
prescribed. Come August, no need for
meds, healed very well, got the itch to
head out to the club and ....well.....

Here I am in Aug. 1990 spending my first
night in a rehab facility being monitored
in the phyciatric ward.

Yes, I was scared yet, as I walked around
the facility seeing folks shuffling across
the floor or mumbling, or hugging the
wall, I felt sure I wasn't that far gone.

The next night I was evaluated and passed
everything with the end result as having a
drinking problem or in other words, an
alcohol addiction.

From that moment on I made the choice
to remain in rehab for 28 days learning
all I needed to learn before I was to be
released so I wouldn't be sent to a halfway
house further away from my little family.

I took that knowledge taught to me
and held on tight as I put one foot
in front of the other, taking one step
at a time, using the AA program of
recovery as my own guideline to
remain sober building a strong solid
foundation to live my life upon for
yrs to come.

That was some 26 yrs ago and continue
today on my recovery journey passing
on much of that knowledge that was taught
to me over the yrs. enjoying the gifts of the
Promises as written for us in the Big Book
of AA.

For you, you are sleeping in your own
bed with yesterday behind you,
today almost over and tomorrow....
it isn't here yet, however, it will be
a new day. A new beginning.

Don't throw tonight away. Sleep
peacefully and with thankfulness
that you are not on the road drunk,
but safe and sound in your own bed.

The same way many of us are tonight too.
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Old 11-26-2016, 03:10 PM
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I don't feel like I can go to an AA meeting.
Why not christyham?

D
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Old 11-26-2016, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by christyham View Post
I know you are right that I need to cut out drinking all together. How do I do this? Do I need to go to AA ?
What do I say to people and my wife? I don't want to tell my wife about my black out last night although she knows I am not myself today and asked how my work function went. I can't tell her what happened as she will be so disappointed in me
AA couldn't hurt you, and it just might save your life.
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Old 11-26-2016, 06:24 PM
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I am going to try and AA meeting I have found one locally and it is in tomorrow night. . I suppose I just think I have let myself and my family down and feel pretty ashamed that I need to do this and to be honest I am terrified of attending the meeting.
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Old 11-26-2016, 07:06 PM
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Good job, christyham, I don't think too many of us were very keen on going to our first meetings. I know I was too indignant, too prideful, too ignorant, too stubborn and too scared and it took me a good 2 years to go from admitting I was alcoholic to being able to get through the AA doors for the first time. And I shook like a leaf the whole time.
You will be ok, the first steps are always the hardest. You'll find good support and good people there.
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Old 11-26-2016, 07:53 PM
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I think when we're drowning, any lifebelt looks pretty good.
Let us know how the meeting goes Christyham

D
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:50 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by christyham View Post
I am going to try and AA meeting I have found one locally and it is in tomorrow night. . I suppose I just think I have let myself and my family down and feel pretty ashamed that I need to do this and to be honest I am terrified of attending the meeting.
Good on you for keeping an open mind despite your fears.

My own fears and preconceptions kept me from making it into a meeting for a month - and that being despite the fact that my much loved and now deceased step father was an AAer and his tough old sponsor had helped me out of a massive bind 20 odd years ago, on the strength that he extended his love for his sponsee to his sponsees family. There was still the idea in my head that I would be going to a room full of crazy Drunks. Of course, none of the poeple there were anything like my fears had imagined. They had good solid sobriety, were kind, patient and welcoming. They made me bad coffee and accepted me. As I was. They told me the truth, even when it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but said it with such kindness and heartfelt honesty that it was just about bearable.
I hope you get through the door of that meeting tonight. And if you don't, then I hope you get through the door of the next one.

(By the way, meetings actually start on the dot of whatever time they're advertised as starting, so about 10 mins before the noted time is best for arriving so you can get your bearings, a coffee and settled. )

I'll be thinking if you today, and praying that you find the strength to go, and that you hear what you need to hear, and look for the similarities rather than the differences.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:02 AM
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CH- you say a lot in a few lines. That you have used SR in regards to your drinking. That you do not 'crave' alcohol- not many people do. That you felt in control and had a blackout with significant memory loss. Label this anyway you like- but that is dangerous to your health and safety and possibly others as well. My advice for a long term look at this is stop drinking forever. There may be a medical reason for this- interacting with medication? Perhaps see a doctor. Scary stuff, friend. Perhaps next time (theoretically) you might not be so lucky. Prayers for you.-PJ
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:12 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Well that was an awful nights sleep. Only slept a few hours the rest was spent worrying about how I have acted when I have had the memory blank and how I tell my wife.
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