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Old 11-26-2016, 10:04 AM
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How about putting the same time weekly into sobriety and recovery that was put into drinking?
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Old 11-26-2016, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
I just don't like AA, it makes me worse. I end up obsessing about not working my program well enough because I don't feel as enlightened as other people do. I'm more aligned to the AVRT way of thinking. I feel like a fraud going to AA meetings
those enlightened more than likely only became enlightened through the process of working the steps. theres people with much less time than I that are more enlightened than me.

I may not be where I want to be but im glad im not where I was.

if you obsess about not working AA's program well enough, what would keep you from obsessing about not working AVRT well enough?
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Old 11-26-2016, 10:30 AM
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Tomsteve you're right, there's nothing to suggest that I'd work AVRT better. But I do know it resonates with me. I just feel very lost at the moment. I'm extremely unhappy with myself. I feel like a loser
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Old 11-26-2016, 10:43 AM
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SSG - If you think AVRT will work better for you, I would try and find a group near you.
Everyone must find their own way.
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Old 11-26-2016, 10:51 AM
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AVRT is not a support group or a "program" in the traditional sense. It is a technique solely for quitting alcohol for good, it is not a design for living. That part is left up to you to approach as you see fit once you boot the booze for good using the technique.

I would suggest you read the threads here at SR on AVRT and ask over in the secular connections section. There are some very knowledgable members who can answer your questions.
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
I have to sort myself out.. I'm ruled by ambivalence it feels.
Whatever you do, don't go looking for those deep "hidden causes" of your drinking, in the hopes of rooting out the desire to drink, while you keep on drinking. That's a fool's errand, which many will help you engage in for a fee.

If you are indeed interested in AVRT, I second the recommendation to check out the Secular Connections forum. Ambivalence is the hallmark of addiction, and AVRT deals with it specifically.
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:17 AM
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i pretty much crawled to my first AA meeting, a nooner, seriously hungover. i was that desperate. and i found acceptance and understanding, with a whole bunch of others who knew exactly what was going on. it worked for me because i was wiling to do whatever it takes.

i can't speak to other programs, but i do believe we get OUT of it what we put IN to it, whatever method we pick.

YOUR recovery starts today.......
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:21 AM
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Fascinating how different people reach sobriety, the key I thinking is having the resolve to just do it. I needed the slap in the face that it was my actions that needed to change, my thoughts might want to lead me astray but it was through my actions that change happened.
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Old 11-26-2016, 03:15 PM
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Welcome back sadsadgirl

D
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Old 11-26-2016, 11:10 PM
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Day 1 complete. I'm awake stupidly early cos I'm scared and full of fear. The anxiety is crippling. I hate that I've done this to myself. Plunged head first into the pit of despair.
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Old 11-27-2016, 06:54 AM
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Hang in there, sadsad. Expect some pretty intense discomfort and remember that that's all it is and that it will pass. I promise it will.

To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes:

When the AV whispers in your ear, "You cannot withstand the storm"
Look at it and reply, "I am the storm"
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Old 11-27-2016, 08:13 AM
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Hi sadgirl, I am currently on Day 33 and feeling so much better. I believe it is true that you just need to find some routine that helps keep you sober. I believe in the AA theory, yet I don't attend meetings nor have a sponsor. I am doing the reading and working the steps with the help of a workbook. I exercise daily for one hour and have now lost 9 of the 20 pounds I gained during my relapse by eating nutritiously. I don't ingest caffeine or nicotine, which only make my anxiety worse. I read daily books that increase my spiritual knowledge and understanding. I have a few sober friends I talk to. I have learned how to breathe deeply. And I also come on SR daily and post. This routine has kept me sober 33 days after feeling depressed when I couldn't get past 1 day. I hope you can also find a routine that works for you.
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Old 11-27-2016, 11:01 AM
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Thanks soberlicious, I love that quote, although I feel a little more like a breeze than a storm. But I'm feeling a bit better with each hour.

Thanks freedomCA, I don't drink caffeine either-my anxiety is unbearable on it, but I do smoke. I'm getting some nicotine patches this week and will start on them. The self destructive habits need to stop. I've been reading a lot today, on here, some quit lit books and a managing string emotions workbook I've got. First time I've sat down and done an exercise out of it today. I need to do work on myself daily. Looking forward to closing down my computer tomorrow and working some more of it tomorrow. I've begun journelling too.

I have to maintain the momentum, I'm dreadful at starting things and not following through. Except when drinking-I push it to passing out ��
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
I do smoke. I'm getting some nicotine patches this week and will start on them.
I realize that we are inundated by "quitting sucks, nicotine replacement therapy can help" advertisements, but this is simply maintaining the addiction to nicotine, full stop. I know a lot of people fall for this, and swear that they've quit, but it's just the pharmaceutical industry catering to the smoker's own Addictive Voice, to make big profits.

If this is not clear, consider that it's no different than "alcohol replacement therapy", where someone replaces alcohol bottles with an IV drip that slowly feeds them alcohol all day. That wouldn't really be quitting the alcohol at all. Of course, I wouldn't put it past the pharmaceutical industry to try selling something like that someday, with every drunk falling for it.

I highly recommend the free materials over at WhyQuit.com, the Internet's #1 free cold turkey quit smoking resource. I especially recommend the free books and videos under Joel's Library. They teach a lost art, now taught by practically no one, and it will save you a lot of trouble, and a lot of money on gimmicks and snake oil.

Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
I have to maintain the momentum, I'm dreadful at starting things and not following through.
Read the materials which are available to you, and don't let your own AV send you all over the place, down every path but the obvious one. It takes no great effort to not do something, if you know what you are up against.
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Old 11-28-2016, 01:27 AM
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SSG- just remember Rome was not built in a day, but it burnt down in 1. I know for myself if I decided to give up alcohol, junk food, smoking, coffee and sugar all at once I would probably fail. I HAVE (no choice there) stopped alcohol. I eat proper now- no sugar,salt,white bread- all the stuff I am meant to. I have reduced coffee and ciggies. I am not encouraging you to keep smoking- just make a plan (just like with alcohol) and support and you will probably get the outcome you want (I suggest). PJ
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