Fearful and sick
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by newhope01 
No one is harassing you here, we just want to help you as best we can. 
And, unfortunately suffering with depression and panic disorder I do know how individuals with mental health disabilities are stigmatized in our society. When my eating disorder was at its worse, people would just stare at me and say cruel comments to me all the time. Kind of messed up, but I would rather try to focus on the positive and try to heal both spiritually and emotionally.
And, unfortunately suffering with depression and panic disorder I do know how individuals with mental health disabilities are stigmatized in our society. When my eating disorder was at its worse, people would just stare at me and say cruel comments to me all the time. Kind of messed up, but I would rather try to focus on the positive and try to heal both spiritually and emotionally.If I knew you personally as a friend, and someone said something cruel to you, i'd beat the living stuffing out of them.
By my ethos, this is the way the world should work, with loyalty and total devotion.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I'm sorry my tone is problematic for you - I really am.
I'll bow out of posting here now unless I have to come back and moderate..
There are many other people here to talk to though - many of whom have BPD or other issues.
As it turns out, I have no other mods to ask right now and I'm not willing to move a thread into another forum without prior discussion.
Bear with me and, if you still want that, maybe I or another mod can move it later.
But...as for attacks - People in AA (and there are a lot in our membership, just as there are a lot of SMART people and LifeRingers and Rational Recoveryists) are going to push back against posts or threads they see as an attack on their chosen method of recovery.
Thats a basic human thing.
There's really nowhere on this site where you can 'bag' AA and not expect a return post in kind.
Seeing as you have no interest in using AA, I think it would be way better for you to simply move on from that topic entirely.
Focus on what you think might work for you, not what you're sure wouldn't.
best wishes
D
I'll bow out of posting here now unless I have to come back and moderate..
There are many other people here to talk to though - many of whom have BPD or other issues.
As it turns out, I have no other mods to ask right now and I'm not willing to move a thread into another forum without prior discussion.
Bear with me and, if you still want that, maybe I or another mod can move it later.
But...as for attacks - People in AA (and there are a lot in our membership, just as there are a lot of SMART people and LifeRingers and Rational Recoveryists) are going to push back against posts or threads they see as an attack on their chosen method of recovery.
Thats a basic human thing.
There's really nowhere on this site where you can 'bag' AA and not expect a return post in kind.
Seeing as you have no interest in using AA, I think it would be way better for you to simply move on from that topic entirely.
Focus on what you think might work for you, not what you're sure wouldn't.
best wishes
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm sorry my tone is problematic for you - I really am.
I'll bow out of posting here now unless I have to come back and moderate..
There are many other people here to talk to though - many of whom have BPD or other issues.
As it turns out, I have no other mods to ask right now and I'm not willing to move a thread into another forum without prior discussion.
Bear with me and, if you still want that, maybe I or another mod can move it later.
But...as for attacks - People in AA (and there are a lot in our membership, just as there are a lot of SMART people and LifeRingers and Rational Recoveryists) are going to push back against posts or threads they see as an attack on their chosen method of recovery.
Thats a basic human thing.
There's really nowhere on this site where you can 'bag' AA and not expect a return post in kind.
Seeing as you have no interest in using AA, I think it would be way better for you to simply move on from that topic entirely.
Focus on what you think might work for you, not what you're sure wouldn't.
best wishes
D
I'll bow out of posting here now unless I have to come back and moderate..
There are many other people here to talk to though - many of whom have BPD or other issues.
As it turns out, I have no other mods to ask right now and I'm not willing to move a thread into another forum without prior discussion.
Bear with me and, if you still want that, maybe I or another mod can move it later.
But...as for attacks - People in AA (and there are a lot in our membership, just as there are a lot of SMART people and LifeRingers and Rational Recoveryists) are going to push back against posts or threads they see as an attack on their chosen method of recovery.
Thats a basic human thing.
There's really nowhere on this site where you can 'bag' AA and not expect a return post in kind.
Seeing as you have no interest in using AA, I think it would be way better for you to simply move on from that topic entirely.
Focus on what you think might work for you, not what you're sure wouldn't.
best wishes
D
As I said in the OP, I'm aware that my comments may not belong in the Newcomer's section, so please do move them where they do belong.
I find it absurd that all that would be allowed is cheerleading, not warnings. How are people to make a balanced judgement with only half the story?
Finally, you can't shrug off the attacks on me, attempts to start a fight, as "human nature". Isn't it your job to first and foremost enforce the rules here? Why are you allowing me to be attacked in this thread?
I will say I'm not at all surprised. Based on the behavior of my brother and his AA cronies, it's a culture of bullying.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I'm starting to suspect you want to find no help here and then walk away having proven that you're 'beyond help' ior that people ';just don;t understand'.
You made the initial remarks - about this forum, about AA and about the medical advice rule.
You can't absolve yourself from the responsibility of making those remarks, or expect that people here will not 'return fire' to remarks they find provocative.
I'm not going to remove any posts.
I've dealt with thousands of people over the last decade here. Many of them had BDP or other mental issues.
Either you want help, and you're willing to meet us half way to get that help, or you're not.
Your call.
Dee
Moderator
SR
You made the initial remarks - about this forum, about AA and about the medical advice rule.
You can't absolve yourself from the responsibility of making those remarks, or expect that people here will not 'return fire' to remarks they find provocative.
I'm not going to remove any posts.
I've dealt with thousands of people over the last decade here. Many of them had BDP or other mental issues.
Either you want help, and you're willing to meet us half way to get that help, or you're not.
Your call.
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by bearcat22
Without mentioning what will not work for me, and why, a lot of time and energy are going to get wasted with useless talk and useless advice. That has already happened in this thread, with someone saying that 12 steps will help with BPD, clearly a very ignorant statement.
As I said in the OP, I'm aware that my comments may not belong in the Newcomer's section, so please do move them where they do belong.
I find it absurd that all that would be allowed is cheerleading, not warnings. How are people to make a balanced judgement with only half the story?
Finally, you can't shrug off the attacks on me, attempts to start a fight, as "human nature". Isn't it your job to first and foremost enforce the rules here? Why are you allowing me to be attacked in this thread?
I will say I'm not at all surprised. Based on the behavior of my brother and his AA cronies, it's a culture of bullying.
As I said in the OP, I'm aware that my comments may not belong in the Newcomer's section, so please do move them where they do belong.
I find it absurd that all that would be allowed is cheerleading, not warnings. How are people to make a balanced judgement with only half the story?
Finally, you can't shrug off the attacks on me, attempts to start a fight, as "human nature". Isn't it your job to first and foremost enforce the rules here? Why are you allowing me to be attacked in this thread?
I will say I'm not at all surprised. Based on the behavior of my brother and his AA cronies, it's a culture of bullying.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
What is your goal right now? Are you struggling with the notion of quitting alcohol? It can be quite scary but so worth it.
Some people have gotten sober just by using SR, others through god, but I'm worried that you may need to detox if you have been drinking so much for so long.
Are you drinking right now?
Some people have gotten sober just by using SR, others through god, but I'm worried that you may need to detox if you have been drinking so much for so long.
Are you drinking right now?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Try reading this thread to see if there is something that may be of use to you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by bearcat22
Without mentioning what will not work for me, and why, a lot of time and energy are going to get wasted with useless talk and useless advice. That has already happened in this thread, with someone saying that 12 steps will help with BPD, clearly a very ignorant statement.
I find it absurd that all that would be allowed is cheerleading, not warnings. How are people to make a balanced judgement with only half the story?
Finally, you can't shrug off the attacks on me, attempts to start a fight, as "human nature". Isn't it your job to first and foremost enforce the rules here? Why are you allowing me to be attacked in this thread?
I will say I'm not at all surprised. Based on the behavior of my brother and his AA cronies, it's a culture of bullying.
I find it absurd that all that would be allowed is cheerleading, not warnings. How are people to make a balanced judgement with only half the story?
Finally, you can't shrug off the attacks on me, attempts to start a fight, as "human nature". Isn't it your job to first and foremost enforce the rules here? Why are you allowing me to be attacked in this thread?
I will say I'm not at all surprised. Based on the behavior of my brother and his AA cronies, it's a culture of bullying.
It is a challenge to approach you with the kindness, compassion, and sincerity I would hope to convey. When I lived in a place of victimhood and antagonism to all who tried to help me, I certainly wouldn't have "heard" them. I didn't, in fact, and I almost killed myself.
I am not at all ignorant, and I'll tell you from personal experience as someone dx with BPD that AA has indeed helped me. It has saved my life and along with that, my sobriety and use of the tools I learn in the program - which, coincidentally, when understood correctly and implemented, are much in line with DBT that is a top treatment method for BPD- directly correlate to the near moot point that my dx is at this point.
AA teaches us to talk from our "experience, strength and hope." So, in that vein, and in light of my belief that it is not the only way to sobriety and to an overall better life, and that any good program, path, treatment or solution does boil down to some pretty similar tenets, here goes.
I was dying - and I knew it. I was given a choice, and a year-18 mo to live (see my many comments on other threads if you want to hear more about this) and it was quit, or die. I chose cold turkey over a hospitalization, and AA over a pricey rehab. Bottom line, I accepted that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again, and I decided I'd see what my life would be like if I quit and worked like hell to get healthy.
I also learned that there are people who want to help me, and will if I let them and seek them. These people- many of whom I have met in AA, some who are my team of drs, and some I have met in the world at large with their own experiences of addiction, abuse, loss, grief, and so on- are some of the best people out there. Sometimes people are cheerleaders for me, sometimes they warn me -I don't have yes-men in my life, and I don't have harsh, needless a**holes either. "Warnings" can come in various forms - and many of us here try to help each other by talking about the "yets," and our experiences, and learning that "if I'm not the problem there is no solution" and things that are both positive and supportive, outright, or cautionary in compassion. We're all also flawed, so any of us can misstate the message and many of us look to hear a challenge or an attack where there is none.. I look for those who have what I want, and I go after it- and relationships with those kind of people- ruthlessly. Ruthlessly. Bullying might be human, but it isn't part of the program of AA. Love and tolerance is the code - it is people who can get in the way of the message, but the message is constant.
I'll close with the "hope" part. My hope is that every person who needs to quit drinking - for whatever reason or to whatever degree their lives are wrecks- will. That's it, plain and simple. "To any lengths, at any costs" can come in a lot of different forms. And all it boils down to is choice.
Do you want a better life? I did. I do. I stopped drinking, and I started learning how not to be my own worst enemy- in my head, in my actions and in my heart. That's all.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Bearcat, your post is fine just here, there are numerous posters with arms wide open.
Dee as a moderator is very clear on no one will be provoking fights, and no one will be harassed, that includes yourself.
In my earlier post I mentioned here in the Newcomers section, everyone has a safe environment and anything else won't be tolerated, so be reassured, you're among people who want to talk and listen!!
Dee as a moderator is very clear on no one will be provoking fights, and no one will be harassed, that includes yourself.
In my earlier post I mentioned here in the Newcomers section, everyone has a safe environment and anything else won't be tolerated, so be reassured, you're among people who want to talk and listen!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by August252015
There are so many things I want to say to you, that my first response timed out. I usually take that as a sign that I need to rethink what I was saying for some reason, or not post at all.
It is a challenge to approach you with the kindness, compassion, and sincerity I would hope to convey. When I lived in a place of victimhood and antagonism to all who tried to help me, I certainly wouldn't have "heard" them. I didn't, in fact, and I almost killed myself.
I am not at all ignorant, and I'll tell you from personal experience as someone dx with BPD that AA has indeed helped me. It has saved my life and along with that, my sobriety and use of the tools I learn in the program - which, coincidentally, when understood correctly and implemented, are much in line with DBT that is a top treatment method for BPD- directly correlate to the near moot point that my dx is at this point.
AA teaches us to talk from our "experience, strength and hope." So, in that vein, and in light of my belief that it is not the only way to sobriety and to an overall better life, and that any good program, path, treatment or solution does boil down to some pretty similar tenets, here goes.
I was dying - and I knew it. I was given a choice, and a year-18 mo to live (see my many comments on other threads if you want to hear more about this) and it was quit, or die. I chose cold turkey over a hospitalization, and AA over a pricey rehab. Bottom line, I accepted that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again, and I decided I'd see what my life would be like if I quit and worked like hell to get healthy.
I also learned that there are people who want to help me, and will if I let them and seek them. These people- many of whom I have met in AA, some who are my team of drs, and some I have met in the world at large with their own experiences of addiction, abuse, loss, grief, and so on- are some of the best people out there. Sometimes people are cheerleaders for me, sometimes they warn me -I don't have yes-men in my life, and I don't have harsh, needless a**holes either. "Warnings" can come in various forms - and many of us here try to help each other by talking about the "yets," and our experiences, and learning that "if I'm not the problem there is no solution" and things that are both positive and supportive, outright, or cautionary in compassion. We're all also flawed, so any of us can misstate the message and many of us look to hear a challenge or an attack where there is none.. I look for those who have what I want, and I go after it- and relationships with those kind of people- ruthlessly. Ruthlessly. Bullying might be human, but it isn't part of the program of AA. Love and tolerance is the code - it is people who can get in the way of the message, but the message is constant.
It is a challenge to approach you with the kindness, compassion, and sincerity I would hope to convey. When I lived in a place of victimhood and antagonism to all who tried to help me, I certainly wouldn't have "heard" them. I didn't, in fact, and I almost killed myself.
I am not at all ignorant, and I'll tell you from personal experience as someone dx with BPD that AA has indeed helped me. It has saved my life and along with that, my sobriety and use of the tools I learn in the program - which, coincidentally, when understood correctly and implemented, are much in line with DBT that is a top treatment method for BPD- directly correlate to the near moot point that my dx is at this point.
AA teaches us to talk from our "experience, strength and hope." So, in that vein, and in light of my belief that it is not the only way to sobriety and to an overall better life, and that any good program, path, treatment or solution does boil down to some pretty similar tenets, here goes.
I was dying - and I knew it. I was given a choice, and a year-18 mo to live (see my many comments on other threads if you want to hear more about this) and it was quit, or die. I chose cold turkey over a hospitalization, and AA over a pricey rehab. Bottom line, I accepted that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again, and I decided I'd see what my life would be like if I quit and worked like hell to get healthy.
I also learned that there are people who want to help me, and will if I let them and seek them. These people- many of whom I have met in AA, some who are my team of drs, and some I have met in the world at large with their own experiences of addiction, abuse, loss, grief, and so on- are some of the best people out there. Sometimes people are cheerleaders for me, sometimes they warn me -I don't have yes-men in my life, and I don't have harsh, needless a**holes either. "Warnings" can come in various forms - and many of us here try to help each other by talking about the "yets," and our experiences, and learning that "if I'm not the problem there is no solution" and things that are both positive and supportive, outright, or cautionary in compassion. We're all also flawed, so any of us can misstate the message and many of us look to hear a challenge or an attack where there is none.. I look for those who have what I want, and I go after it- and relationships with those kind of people- ruthlessly. Ruthlessly. Bullying might be human, but it isn't part of the program of AA. Love and tolerance is the code - it is people who can get in the way of the message, but the message is constant.
I'm sure we all remember Mitt Romney's famous quote declaring that 47 percent of the population is made up of people who believe they are “victims,” and are “dependent on government.”
You can't change the facts by trying to place the blame on the individual reporting those facts.
Just because you don't like the message, it is true that The Emperor Wears No Clothes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by newhope01
What is your goal right now? Are you struggling with the notion of quitting alcohol? It can be quite scary but so worth it.
Some people have gotten sober just by using SR, others through god, but I'm worried that you may need to detox if you have been drinking so much for so long.
Are you drinking right now?
Some people have gotten sober just by using SR, others through god, but I'm worried that you may need to detox if you have been drinking so much for so long.
Are you drinking right now?
My goal is to get rid of psych pills and alcohol and get physically healthy again, but with an absolute minimum of suffering.
After all, I started drinking because I was in pain. I'm not about to give it up until there is something much better. And don't tell me being sober is better, I've been there, and it very much is not.
Yes, of course detox will be needed, I said that. It's just that the options with my insurance amount to pretty much prison. Not a good place for me to be at all.
Your last question sounds like a trick. Perhaps some would like to dismiss what I've said as "Oh, he's just drunk"
As I wrote earlier, I've drunk so much or so long that I no longer become intoxicated. No slurring of speech, no staggering, no high, nothing.
What I'm looking for is the most-painless way to get healthy.
I've had enough pain, failure and frustration in my life, I'm not looking to "work hard" and "suffer" as the AA cult would be delighted to see.
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