newhope01

Just had a breakdown with my husband. I ended up stealing a bottle of wine from my aunt's house last night. I gave my husband all my credit cards, checkbook, and my identification cards rendering me unable to get cash.

I am so depressed and feel so awful for becoming a liar and a thief. I also feel anxious that I no longer have access to cash in order to get more alcohol.

I can't be around alcohol, I can't go to places where it is served, I can't even watch certain television shows where alcohol is a main focal point.

I hope this time I can stay sober.

MellowHeather

Hey newhope

I'm sorry you're going through a bad time. This will get better to be sure - but that's not always so helpful in the here and now. (It is very true though!)

One thing I'd say is stop fighting the need to stress about having alcohol. This is one of the horrible drinking situations - where do I get it / how do I get it / when and why do I get it..

Consider it out of your hands for a while and breathe a sigh of relief. You can be free of that useless demon in your head.

thomas11

Have you considered professional help? I've heard wonderful things about it.

PhoenixJ

Newhope- stay safe. Don't make stuff worse by stealing booze from a shop, crazy driving or whatever. Fluids are important and food. Your body needs to be looked after, so I would suggest seeing your doctor as well for a full physical- also is detox an option? It is hard to think clearly without all the shame, guilt, anger and confusion. Your body physically might be screaming at you to get better and feelings can sometimes overtake this very basic and important need. You need to make an effort. Can your family get you to a doctor or hospital (if needed)? Fortunately you are not alone, you are not different and there are people who understand. SR, don't forget is a better place to go than down a bottle.
Keep posting- thoughts and prayers to you, PJ.

AnvilheadII

a really good step in securing your sobriety would be to pull your own covers, fess up and apologize to your aunt. if you did not yet drink the wine, make the effort to return it. in person.

NewRomanMan

Nothing changes if nothing changes. To be blunt, what are you going to do about it? Because hoping you will stay sober this time isn't the same as taking action to give your sobriety a fair shake. Anvilhead is right. Make yourself vulnerable and do the right thing. Return the wine. Explain and apologize. If it's already gone, apologize just the same. But come clean and be honest. You might be surprised how much a few steps can help.

Steely

I've stolen booze from the bottle shop. Even had a sneaky creepy way of doing it. I'd ask the counter staff for a single can of some really obscure beer whereby the staff had to go out the back to retrieve. I'd pinch a bottle of Vodka in their absence. Blush. Cringe. I know how you feel.

I'm not a thief in any other area of my life, but I stole alcohol.

Don't be hard on yourself Newhope, and must admit I have a bit of trouble in seeing you without access to your cards etc. If it is what you chose for yourself that's different, but if it's been imposed upon you don't think it a very useful strategy. I mean, we feel powerless enough already.

You CAN get sober this time Newhope.

Dee74

hi NewHope

I just wanted to let you know there is life after something like this
I think you need a plan from here though - nothing changes if nothing changes.

Have you thought about things like rehab, or groups like AA/SMART/etc?

D

newhope01

I don't think I can do that... But it is the right thing to do.

neferkamichael

Newhope01, look at the bright side of this, the only way to go is up now. Rootin for ya.

newhope01

It was my idea to relinquish my access to cash. I don't think I would of stolen the bottle of wine if I was sober. I definitely won't steal from a shop.

My husband said I can confess to him if I slipped or am having cravings. If I want he will give me my cards back. But right now, I don't think it is necessary as I am on disability.

aasharon90

I also thought about you returning the
bottle to your Aunt and sincerely apologize
for taking it and share with her that you know
that it was wrong and that you are owning
up to make your amends to her.

When we get into recovery and learn
about our addiction and receive a program
of recovery to incorporate in all areas
of our life, we also learn about being
honest.

We take that step, make our amends
and in the long run, we stop the lieing,
stealing, etc so we don't have to make
those amends we don't like to do.

AnvilheadII

I don't think I can do that... But it is the right thing to do.

can't or won't?

here are two questions to ask yourself every day:

1. What am am I willing to do for my recovery today?
2. What WILL I do for my recovery today?

Willingness and Action are KEY.

Become fearless in your sobriety.

courage2

I understand and sympathize, newhope. For a long time, I (rightly) didn't trust myself to be anywhere alcohol was available. When my husband was away, I wouldn't keep cash in the house.

I remember one time when I was "supposed" to have a year of sobriety and I was attending someone's wake -- there was a lot of liquor flowing. Under the cover of helping out in the kitchen, I steadily consumed the dregs of everyone's drinks. You'd be surprised how much normals will leave in a glass LOL.

Back then, I wasn't truly committed to sobriety -- I just hated being a drunk. Keeping myself "chained up" away from my "bad" side wasn't the way to a better life -- just a life of guilt and self-hatred, that eventually led me to drink again.

I hope you get some more support to help you find out how good your life can be without drinking.

kittycat3

Oh newhope, we've all done similar things. I've stolen glugs off friends drinks. I think if you could confess you'd feel a huge relief. Don't beat yourself up but do find a way to be sober - AA??? Worked for me, now I have over 7 months!

newhope01

Can you believe I am a drug counselor? I wish I could take my own advice.

NewRomanMan

This is spot on. Sobriety doesn't come from knowing something is the right thing to do. It comes from doing the right thing. Change your actions, and your thinking will follow. Sounds crazy, but a lot of alcoholics will tell you that.

NewRomanMan

Then we're all preaching to the choir. Lol. You know what you need to do. Ask your HP or whatever you believe in to give you the willingness you need to take action.

newhope01

Maybe that's the problem, I don't have a higher power. Btw, I drank the bottle of wine last night but I could offer to replace it monetarily. I am so ashamed of myself.

Dee74

I didn't go the AA route so when I got sober I wasn't thinking in terms of a HP.

What I did have was a desire not to suffer anymore and that translated into an acceptance that my relationship with alcohol was toxic - always had been and always would be.

It was hard work to do everything but pick up a bottle, but it got me to where I am today - and that's a pretty good place

I used this place a lot too - if I had a HP back then at all it was this community

D