Dee74

I'm glad that ultimately you made a good choice tonight NewHope.

You can use this next time you feel like drinking.

I also think it would be part of some greater plan - a list of strategies to help you deal soberly with trigger points like cravings, and fights with your husband?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

newhope01

Yes, stress and routine. Whenever I feel I have worked really hard and am tired but content, I want a beer. When I let that pass, I unsuccessfully tried to research the effects of alcohol and my SSRI which made me realize it perpetuated the effects of alcohol. So, my AV raised its ugly head and I was determined to get that, "one beer."

AnvilheadII

newhope - i'm glad you didn't get that beer. now not to beat a point mercilessly into the ground.......when it was suggested that you "face the music" and tell your aunt about the thefted bottle of wine, you said you didn't think you could do that, you weren't WILLING to do that.

but....after a fight with your husband, you WILLINGLY took off on foot, in the rain, to go buy alcohol.

Honesty
Open-Mindedness
Willingness

this is the HOW of recovery

Hawkeye13

It's like that "little kid" inside of us, which some call the AV (Addictive Voice)
convinces us that we deserve / should have that drink, whatever it takes.
This is especially strong in early sobriety, like the voice senses its supply is about
to be cut off for good, so it takes decisive action to push us away from saving ourselves
and back to the bottle--you have to be as ruthless to the AV as it is being to you
or you will never break the cycle.

My AV fought me hard in the beginning, but I fought back harder. Not easy but necessary.

Great job on resisting buying the alcohol once you got to the store.
That's what you do, over and over, and it gets easier once you get some momentum.
For me, that is the "Willingness" Anvil is talking about.
I will not drink, I will not give in, I will actively seek recovery.

You can do this, and only you can do this--its between you and you.
Husband fights, husband assists, etc. are peripheral to the real engagement.

newhope01

I was honest with my husband and a piece of me knew once I got to the store I would have changed my mind. During our fight we did not raise our voices or use derogatory language. The walk was good.

And I appreciate your support/advice, and this is no excuse, but my aunt is an awful person. Sure, it's the right thing to do to confess and replace the wine but I am not going too. At least I am not ready to right now.

newhope01

I agree with you on the whole husband thing, I am just trying to make a concerted effort to stay sober this time and I always use to do it alone. I figured telling my husband would help me remain accountable to myself. He quit drinking too and now there is never any booze in the house unless I go get it. So, again that is on me.