Zebra1275

I hope this time I can stay sober.

If hope is your recovery strategy, you don't have a chance.

You are a drug counselor, what do you tell your clients?

PhoenixJ

if YOU WERE YOUR CLIENT- WHAT WOULD YOU ASK THEM DO TO HELP THEMSELVES? Alcohol sucks, it is hard. The hardest thing is to reach out when there does not seem to be a way out. I used to plan my recovery (HA!). I would create an outward illusion of respectability so no one would know I was a 'loser' alcoholic. I am here by choice at AA, I did not come, making it clear- because I was on my last legs (assuming I had not already fallen over). Do you feel perhaps shame at what your profession is and your powerlessness over your use of alcohol? There is no shame in asking for and getting help. You know what is out there to help. I was a nurse and the thought of other nurses seeing me was terrifying. If you want to get better- you will have to reach out and trust. SR is a good place to start. Prayers to you, PJ

newhope01

Well, in my case I would advise my client to seriously consider taking some time off of work as its difficult to help others when you yourself are drinking. I'd also suggest they consider a career change until they can remain sober.

I also would set small goals with them and if they slipped I would talk with them about it without judgement but rather what was going on during the time they decided to drink and how to avoid that situation in the future. Than, I would ensure they had a support system and I would teach them about the AV and to be mindful of it.

Another suggestion I would offer is to remind them that most cravings subside in about 30 minutes and not to think in terms of forever. Instead of thinking I can never drink again, try to just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, hell one minute at a time if necessary.

Of course I would provide them with referrals to AA or Lifering.

newhope01

I feel ashamed because the actions I committed while under the influence. Lying to my husband, stealing, you know the usual alcoholic shame and guilt.

PhoenixJ

NH- you know the professional stance about guilt, shame etc. I do- from both sides of the fence. Can you turn this thing around. Feeling shame and stuff is normal. I do all those things when I drink and so the repercussions include my own self revulsion at not being strong, resilient and living up to my own moral code. A dangerous trap. To accept I am not strong with alcohol- to show honesty shows bravery and strength. To keep pretending I am strong when I am not is just another reason for me to run away ,hide and of course drink. My logic and feelings do not connect- they are out of whack. Physically because of the depressant effect on the CNS, blah. I need to keep vigil with regular health check ups. Cannot run away from that. What is done is done. It is not what we do but what we do afterwards that counts. You are now way near a rock bottom. Embrace what you know, what you have done- turn it around and use it to heal, grow, learn - get better. SR helps, reaching out and getting help is key. It does not mean your life is over or that everything you do, who you are or have accomplished is a lie. You are human. Accept that and try to heal. PJ

newhope01

Thanks for your kindness.

Delilah1

Glad you are here and posting. What have you done in the past for your own recovery?

red3215

I was no thief either but I stole my roommate's cheap wine quite a few times and would replace it as soon as possible the next day, wondering if she ever noticed.

There are so many reasons that alcoholic mind will give to excuse a drink. Think of the strong urges for alcohol as nothing more than illusions and the way to end the illusion is to present reality to yourself until it goes away.

I did this by spending hours each day on this board and reviewing my list of reasons not to drink, for several weeks.
Then when the obsession ended, I still continued to make a daily commitment and check in here frequently.
Make it your highest priority to stay sober every morning, no matter what happens that day.

August252015

Yep. I was a master thief of alcohol, and also a prolific shoplifter. I got off and got away with it til I stole a wallet. Do not go there- you can stop now. I can promise you cleaning up serious mess sucks- and I even got first offender status bc I had previously been a law abiding citizen and got a sympathetic judge- and the emotional " mess" for everyone involved was terrible too.

Sounds like you have some family support. Have you thought about AA? My beginning was working with a great team of drs, immersion in AA and a path of self care from starting to eat, sleep, take care of my body and surroundings, and not drink.

Whatever you choose, a program of action is key. Hope doesn't get you sober- hope comes in recovery in the form of the new life you can have.

Good luck.

Mountainmanbob

You can do it -- the making of a (firm decision).
M-Bob

thomas11

I have no advice, I just wanted to chime in and let you know I support your efforts to get and remain sober.

soberlicious

I would seriously consider you taking your own advice on that.

My ex and I saw a marriage counselor years ago, because my ex had cheated and we were trying to repair our marriage. A friend of mine showed me a pic of the counselor on a dating website...he was cheating on his wife at the same time he was counseling us about my (then) husband cheating. This really messed with my head big time. I'm sure you are good at your job, and I know we are all human, but I think you owe it to your clients to be sober as you advise them on being sober. This kind of deceit could be damaging to others.

As you know, there are many ways that people successfully quit. You can do this. You are fully capable, even if you don't believe it at the moment.

What's your plan, newhope?

newhope01

I actually don't have a lot of family support or support in general for that matter. My husband is supportive but the rest of my family are alcoholic. This is where someone will suggest trying AA, I have before, and most members are sweethearts. I've only been harassed by two members which was easily remedied by attending all women groups. But, it's just not for me but I highly support the program.

Right now, I am trying to distance myself from people and situations that trigger me to drink. I'm also staying close to SR and being vigilant of my AV.

I am just fortunate that I don't have any withdrawal symptoms and the cravings have been manageable thus far.

newhope01

Right now I am on disability so I am nowhere near my clients.

newhope01

So, I am craving pretty hard right now and I am crawling the walls right now. My AV is telling me that all I need is one beer but geez I don't need any alcohol..

But, I really want one.. really bad; Or better put, I really want to get buzzed.

I tried distracting myself by wrapping gifts and cleaning up my linen closet.. but I am still crawling the walls. This really sucks and I am sorry for whining, but, I thought I would come here first to vent before I cave into my cravings.

This situation is making me feel weepy.

Dee74

bam

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

newhope01

Thanks Dee.

Im still really struggling here though.

newhope01

Just got in a fight with my husband. This sucks.

newhope01

I ended up going for a walk in the rain to the liquor store because my husband took my keys when I told him I was going to buy a beer. That long walk to the liquor store gave me a lot of time to think and am happy that I will be going to sleep sober tonight.

I can be quite stubborn and its hard to reason with me when I come to a decision. Something I need to work on.

OpioPhobe

Newhope01 - wow...that was a close one. Glad you didn't pick up. Did anything specific bring on the craving?