azure808

Back here again, I didn't manage a week last time. I screwed up my new job. finances I cant even begin to go there. Depression is at an all time low, was put on tablets 10 days ago.
I don't know how much of my endless instability is mental health related or alcohol. Probably a mixture. Bottom line is I am a mess.
Been in bed for days, can't face the stress of anything and felt suicidal.
I have no booze in house which is good. Day 1

Optimist4ever57

You're here and that's what counts, Azure. There does seem to be a corrolation between mental health related issues and alcohol. Mine is anxiety.

There is so much great information here, you can spend all day getting ammunition for your battle!

Glad you're back.

Needanewme

Well done with getting a week behind you! I manage to do the same but fall off now and then. Try to hang in there

azure808

thanks

cat1961

Azure - I pretty much hit the bottom yesterday and working on my Day 2. I know how you're feeling and it does get better over time. It might be a matter of re-structuring your lifestyle, maybe take up a hobby to keep you mind occupied.

I've got all kinds of shelling projects going on but never finished them because I was to busy drinking. Now that I'm going to get sober, I can get back with these projects.

Good luck to you!

azure808

Yeah I need to change so many things about my routine. I am chaos personified and it cannot go on

azure808

Thanks , Yes my anxiety is through the roof always

cat1961

The first step is coming here for support. I couldn't do it without all these fine people. I was a mess, depressed, confused, all of the above when I drank heavily every day. I hope you find the proper support to get over this hurdle in life. It will get better.

azure808

Thanks Cat hope so too . Just don't know where to start. Not going to shop is probably the 1st thing

entropy1964

I'm sorry you're so low. Its amazing how bad life can get when drinking. But the reverse is true....life gets pretty darn good when sober. I make my life so difficult for myself all for booze. It just doesn't have to be so tough.

It is hard to tell where my mental illness issues start and my addiction ends. The only way to do this is to be sober for a while....90 days is a good number for me. I have PTSD and GAD but I can tell ya, they are WAY more manageable sober. No comparison. If by tablets you mean anti depressants, those won't work while drinking.

You can do this.

azure808

Exactly how I fell. I guess I will be able to tell once I have recovered and tackle it then.

thomas11

Hi azure, I'm glad your up for the challenge of tackling this again. I don't know if this will help but here's what I did when I got into a bad bender. I made a mental prioritized list of what I needed to do, and the first thing on that list was always get sobered up, second on that list was introducing food. I could not do anything until I was physically normalized.

Delilah1

Hi Azure,

I'm glad you are here today. I know things can seem overwhelming when first starting out, or starting again, but they will start go get better. Baby steps will help you get back on track.

You can do this.

Dee74

Welcome back

any ideas on what you might do differently this time?

FreedomCA

Hope you can stay sober Azure. I am on Day 30 today, and overall it has been great. I am dealing with some stressful stuff at the time, but it is no big deal as long as I stay sober. Your mental health issues may clear up the longer you stay sober and work on yourself through some program, such as the 12 steps. Good luck!

FreeOwl

Azure...

I felt the way you're feeling many times.

Then I finally decided to really do it. To take action and support a choice; to be a sober human.

It took time and effort and some challenges for sure. But it's been so worth it.

The sooner you begin, the sooner you find relief and then joy.

You can

August252015

What Thomas said, with the addition of start going to meetings, for me. My brain was so foggy and I felt terrible for weeks (I had serious PAWS) yet I went- probably did 82 in the 90/90 recommendation AA makes. Otherwise, unless I went out to the dr or to do something with my parents, I was pretty much at home.

Getting through the beginning can be challenging for lots of reasons, start with the first rule of not drinking.It really will get better in every way as you keep going.

Hope you make this your last start.