Longest period without in five years - all of three days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
Longest period without in five years - all of three days
I'm on my third day now without any drink and I just realised it's the longest I've gone without for the best part of five years. I'm getting far more done as I'm not nursing a constant dull hangover, of which the pain isn't the problem - it's the confusion and depression that always kills me.
Next step is to get past a week and then tell friends and family I'm not drinking again and confide in those closest to me why. Right now they just think I like a drink, they haven't seem me sat at home at night working my way through a couple of bottles of wine or a large pack of beer. Where I am, drinking is embedded in the social, if you turn down an offer of a drink everyone thinks there's something wrong with you or alternatively become quite offended that you're not drinking with them. Drink has become so much of a problem that at even 5pm on a Saturday the number of people struggling to walk home seems to be increasing all the time, and if you go to any hospital in the early hours of the morning it's full of drunk people.
I've got my patter ready having had to think hard about it because so many people I'm around drink heavily - just not as heavily as me. I'm going to discuss simply that I can't just have one, or even a few. Once I've started I'll continue until there's none left or the bar is closing. Why? I could try to give some complicated explanation but I know the simple answer is I'm an alcoholic, and can't control my approach to drinking. So the answer is - stop. I'm going to explain that I knew my habit was out of control when I realised I've been cancelling planned things at weekends because of the effects from the Friday or Saturday night before when I really let my hair down - it's effecting my life in a negative way. It's even got to the point that the people I used to think were the soaks - you know the sort - always last out the pub and there most nights of the week - are now all people I know and consider drinking friends! At least I've never touched the hard stuff, so hopefully I'm not too pickled yet.
As tonight was the longest I've been without a drink and had people asking if I was out to the bar tonight. I found it really hard not to go out, but instead decided was to treat myself to a slap up meal - with a Coke - still costing a fraction of what I would've spent in the bar. If I make it through to Sunday I'll take what I would've spend on booze and put it towards something more constructive like new clothes or something I can keep seeing as some form of encouragement.
If anyone reads this and is not so far in recovery they can't remember this stage, I'd like to ask - how long (if ever) did it take for you to stop thinking just as you left the house to get dinner or go shopping - what should I buy to drink tonight?
Next step is to get past a week and then tell friends and family I'm not drinking again and confide in those closest to me why. Right now they just think I like a drink, they haven't seem me sat at home at night working my way through a couple of bottles of wine or a large pack of beer. Where I am, drinking is embedded in the social, if you turn down an offer of a drink everyone thinks there's something wrong with you or alternatively become quite offended that you're not drinking with them. Drink has become so much of a problem that at even 5pm on a Saturday the number of people struggling to walk home seems to be increasing all the time, and if you go to any hospital in the early hours of the morning it's full of drunk people.
I've got my patter ready having had to think hard about it because so many people I'm around drink heavily - just not as heavily as me. I'm going to discuss simply that I can't just have one, or even a few. Once I've started I'll continue until there's none left or the bar is closing. Why? I could try to give some complicated explanation but I know the simple answer is I'm an alcoholic, and can't control my approach to drinking. So the answer is - stop. I'm going to explain that I knew my habit was out of control when I realised I've been cancelling planned things at weekends because of the effects from the Friday or Saturday night before when I really let my hair down - it's effecting my life in a negative way. It's even got to the point that the people I used to think were the soaks - you know the sort - always last out the pub and there most nights of the week - are now all people I know and consider drinking friends! At least I've never touched the hard stuff, so hopefully I'm not too pickled yet.
As tonight was the longest I've been without a drink and had people asking if I was out to the bar tonight. I found it really hard not to go out, but instead decided was to treat myself to a slap up meal - with a Coke - still costing a fraction of what I would've spent in the bar. If I make it through to Sunday I'll take what I would've spend on booze and put it towards something more constructive like new clothes or something I can keep seeing as some form of encouragement.
If anyone reads this and is not so far in recovery they can't remember this stage, I'd like to ask - how long (if ever) did it take for you to stop thinking just as you left the house to get dinner or go shopping - what should I buy to drink tonight?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
I stopped wrestling with the question "do I stop for a bottle of wine tonight or not?" by committing each morning "no matter what happens I will not drink today."
I am not sure when I stopped having the after work automatic urge to stop and buy booze - not sure if my experience would be the same as yours will be anyway.
What I can promise you is that the more days and months you string together in sobriety, the more your thinking changes and there are whole days or weeks you don't think "man I want a drink!" at all.
I just had to have faith my life would improve if I stuck to my commitment made each day "no matter what happens, I will not drink."
When the cravings appear, acknowledge them and then get busy doing something until they pass. They always! pass and you are not a slave to those compulsions. It is actually an amazing and empowering feeling to experience, and was a revelation to me.
You can do this!
I am not sure when I stopped having the after work automatic urge to stop and buy booze - not sure if my experience would be the same as yours will be anyway.
What I can promise you is that the more days and months you string together in sobriety, the more your thinking changes and there are whole days or weeks you don't think "man I want a drink!" at all.
I just had to have faith my life would improve if I stuck to my commitment made each day "no matter what happens, I will not drink."
When the cravings appear, acknowledge them and then get busy doing something until they pass. They always! pass and you are not a slave to those compulsions. It is actually an amazing and empowering feeling to experience, and was a revelation to me.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
I've found that I do better when I plan for the cravings - e.g. planning things to do after work that take me away from the wine aisle.
I've also found myself watching the internal dialogue when I want alcohol. Being aware of it seems to help,
I guess this is surfing the urge type of thing, but being aware my brain is going - you could have just one glass and fighting back with the thought (reality) that it has never been just one glass for me has helped with sudden onset cravings.
After the first few days they disappeared for me for a while - came back last weekend for a few days, but subsided again.
I was worried about xmas market season, but all good so far.
I have found that people questioned at first why I wasn't drinking - I used sober October as an excuse - now they just think it's normal.
I find it refreshing to have a choice of drinks - before it was just red or white.
I've also found myself watching the internal dialogue when I want alcohol. Being aware of it seems to help,
I guess this is surfing the urge type of thing, but being aware my brain is going - you could have just one glass and fighting back with the thought (reality) that it has never been just one glass for me has helped with sudden onset cravings.
After the first few days they disappeared for me for a while - came back last weekend for a few days, but subsided again.
I was worried about xmas market season, but all good so far.
I have found that people questioned at first why I wasn't drinking - I used sober October as an excuse - now they just think it's normal.
I find it refreshing to have a choice of drinks - before it was just red or white.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
Firstly, HELL YEAH on 3 days! My tricky times are between 3 days and 6. For some reason those two days really played on my mind. Anywho, I'm just over 40 days sober and it's the longest I've been off drink and drugs since I was about 15 years old. It's crazy but one day at a time and all that! You can do it!
Getting back to the point, I'm still getting urges. The cravings are much better (I follow the HALT thing to keep my physical and mental needs in check as much as I can) but my mind often goes back to "I want/need a drink" and I do find it hard when I'm walking past the old off licenses I used to frequent. The one thing that has stopped me from getting alcohol in those moments is a technique I heard on here: "playing the tape through".
I love the idea of moderation, but I've been trying it for years and it's screwed me up. So my first thought it this vision of me enjoying a nice glass of wine or a vodka coke, but I think it all the way through to the fact that it sure as hell wouldn't be just one, I'd spend money I don't have, I'd say something I didn't mean, likely hurt myself, eat crappy food, not do the things I was supposed to do, mess up my body and feel awful about throwing that sober day down the toilet. The technique works, I must say!
Getting back to the point, I'm still getting urges. The cravings are much better (I follow the HALT thing to keep my physical and mental needs in check as much as I can) but my mind often goes back to "I want/need a drink" and I do find it hard when I'm walking past the old off licenses I used to frequent. The one thing that has stopped me from getting alcohol in those moments is a technique I heard on here: "playing the tape through".
I love the idea of moderation, but I've been trying it for years and it's screwed me up. So my first thought it this vision of me enjoying a nice glass of wine or a vodka coke, but I think it all the way through to the fact that it sure as hell wouldn't be just one, I'd spend money I don't have, I'd say something I didn't mean, likely hurt myself, eat crappy food, not do the things I was supposed to do, mess up my body and feel awful about throwing that sober day down the toilet. The technique works, I must say!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I remember a time when I could not go 4 days without a drink. That went for years...
so when I did eventually stop I went from obsessing about drinking to obsessing about not drinking for a little while.
Things evened out after a while. Cut yourself some slack and try and be patient with yourself - I was in a way different place by 3 months.
so when I did eventually stop I went from obsessing about drinking to obsessing about not drinking for a little while.
Things evened out after a while. Cut yourself some slack and try and be patient with yourself - I was in a way different place by 3 months.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I couldn't get over the obsession with thinking about drinking until I made my life revolve around recovery work. Which it has for the past two months and will be for another 2 or 3. I couldn't stay sober for very long until I decided to put my heart and soul into it though and it has had to be, for me, continuous ongoing, thorough, consistent and genuine work.
Now, I've only had a few times where it has crossed my mind and I'm only still fresh in this. But it took getting really busy with life and recovery and loving and being grateful for it before I stopped letting the longing overcome me even if just in thought.
Congrats on 3 days. It wasn't all that long ago when I couldn't string together 2 days. So good job
and welcome to SR
Now, I've only had a few times where it has crossed my mind and I'm only still fresh in this. But it took getting really busy with life and recovery and loving and being grateful for it before I stopped letting the longing overcome me even if just in thought.
Congrats on 3 days. It wasn't all that long ago when I couldn't string together 2 days. So good job
and welcome to SR
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I had a hard time with cravings for a few weeks. After that, things became easier and I felt better.
Having a plan is a really helpful idea because you are likely to be caught by surprise by a craving and having a specific plan will help you get through it.
Having a plan is a really helpful idea because you are likely to be caught by surprise by a craving and having a specific plan will help you get through it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
Welcoming me to SR, and great job getting through the first few days. Lots of good advice above. Like Dee, I went from obsessing about drinking to obsessing about not drinking for the first 3 months or so. Gradually they started to stop popping into my head as often.
I made plans to keep myself but during the tines I would normally be drinking, I exercised, read, took my kids to activities, wached a few series on a Netflix, just kept my mind occupied.
Playing the tape through has helped me on numerous occasions, if the thought of drinking popped into my head I thought about how I would feel the next morning waking up with a hangover, and back to Day One, it helped.
Glad you are here. You can do this!!!!
I made plans to keep myself but during the tines I would normally be drinking, I exercised, read, took my kids to activities, wached a few series on a Netflix, just kept my mind occupied.
Playing the tape through has helped me on numerous occasions, if the thought of drinking popped into my head I thought about how I would feel the next morning waking up with a hangover, and back to Day One, it helped.
Glad you are here. You can do this!!!!
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