joe1987

Hi everyone, it is almost 1 year since my first post and Over the last year I have gone from bad to worse, lost my driving license, drinking and using cocaine till I have no money left, daily drinking, calling in sick to work more and more often, the past week has been a living hell and i have become so anxious that I fell the only way to get over it is to drink and that repeats this horrible cycle, this has to be my last day one, I could have a wonderful life and could never imagine this would happen to me but I need help and I need to start now, this is my final day one.

bexxed

welcome back. any ideas for a plan?

my last day one was 103 days ago. one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

B

entropy1964

Well I know exactly how you're feeling. And those first days are brutal, no doubt. Can you enter a detox facility for some assistance?

There's kind of no way around it, or over it, or under it, just through it. But it does get better. I know you can do this!

joe1987

Plan is to not take a drink and make this my number 1 priority, I need to start distracting myself with positivity and health and fitness, I just wish this anxiety would disappear, anyone have any advice on anxiety?

MLD51

The anxiety should get better if you quit drinking. I had major anxiety while I was drinking. I was barely sleeping, barely eating, barely functioning due to anxiety. I even took anti-anxiety drugs, which really didn't work because they don't mix well with alcohol. Once I quit drinking, the anxiety started to ease. Now, almost two years sober, I only have normal anxiety. I'm no longer diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and am off the meds. Early on in sobriety, when anxiety was still an issue for me, I started hiking a lot, meditating, and doing breathing exercises when the anxiety would start to ramp up. I still use those techniques to this day if I feel anxious at all.

Have you thought about going to treatment? I did that, too, and it was a godsend. So was AA. There were all sorts of underlying issues I had to begin to deal with , and treatment and AA helped me do that. That also helped with the anxiety. A lot of my anxiety had to do with self-esteem issues, and some PTSD I also had going on. I am working through those things, and feeling better all the time. Alcohol helps nothing, and makes anxiety worse. Much worse.

Mick75

Peppermint oil helped me when feeling anxious, most health food stores carry it. I just put a few drops on my face so I could smell it, took deep breaths and tried to clear my mind.
If you can get into a professional detox that would be a good choice, I know it was for me.

joe1987

The thing with a detox is the time away from work, I really can't afford to lose my job and although I need this to be my number 1 priority I have to keep my job and my home, I think heading back to AA and trying 90 in 90 might be the best option for me, how do others find AA has helped?

january161992

the great news is that there is a solution

meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power

God bless

MLD51

Oh my gosh - AA saved my bacon, and still does. If you've done it before, you already know how much of a relief it is to just be in a room with other people who understand where you've been, and won't judge you because of it. But beyond that, working the steps has really given me a deeper understanding of what makes me tick, and how to get at the bottom of my thoughts and feelings, and why I am the way I am. Not even just why I drank, but all sorts of things about myself. If you put a sincere effort into working the steps, you'll learn better ways to deal with everything that comes your way. You'll learn how to let things go that are out of your control (Hint: almost everything) and how to take time out to think things through before reacting. You'll learn to identify the people in your life who are toxic to your well-being, and because you will be making new connections, it won't be as scary if you need to broom some people out of your life, or at least take a step or two away from them.

I could go on and on. I have truly learned more from going to AA than I ever did from years of one-on-one therapy.

DontRemember

I'm only on day 7 and my AA was court ordered (2 times/wk for 90days). I have found AA helpful as it gives me perspective on others who are facing the same problem and it takes my mind off of drinking for the day. I've actually gone to more meetings than the court order and plan on continuing. I'm not court ordered to not drink(ankle 'braclet',ect..) That's a decision I made myself. I also expect to lose my license for a year..Just waiting on the DMV letter to show up any day now.

Upstairs

Attending AA is a distraction if anything else, as you mentioned, plus you can talk to people for help if you're looking for it. The anxiety will get better as you get reacquainted with sobriety. I used to carry around Xanax when I was drinking just because I'd panic for no reason at times. Anyways, hope you find some help here. Oh, and chat room meeting tonight at 9pm if you want to talk with some SR people!

joe1987

I have admitted to my family and friends about my problem with drink and drugs and I feel this has helped ease the anxiety slightly, I just wish I could stop these horrible feelings of regret and shame so that I can focus on moving forward and being positive, felling these horrible emotions is just bring myself and others around me down, I would give anything and everything to have a time traveling machine, i just wish I could shut my eyes for a while and sleep, atleast then I am not worrying constantly

MLD51

The regret and remorse go with the territory, unfortunately. You have to feel the feelings. There is no way around it, you must go through it. It really will get better, trust me. I was a complete wreck for a while when I got sober, because I felt such shame about the things I had done, the people I had hurt with my actions. Getting to steps 4 and 5 helped a lot with this, and steps 8 and 9 (which I'm doing now) helps even more. Main thing is - begin by being completely honest with yourself and others. And the longer you stay sober and don't add any more things to feel bad about about, the better you will feel about yourself. The people around you will see you are committed to sobriety and begin to forgive you.

MLD51

And remember - you MADE mistakes. YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE.

DontRemember

I'm looking at my new sobriety as a bad breakup,with a toxic person/co-dependant(which I'm also going through). It SUCKS at first but, once it/they are out of your thoughts life will be better.

Algorithm

Which is it, Joe? It "has to be" your last day one, or is it, in fact, your final day one? Are you going to drink or use again, or are you not?

A big question, but a crucial one.

SWTPEA61

Joe
The time is now .....i have read posts here and people say it's boring to be sober i understand that believe me I WAS the life of the party everyone was done partying at 2 AM i wanted to go until the sun came up. Joe just think of how sick you feel and how your life could endto soon. I know it feels great when your partying but you know what.....it feels so much better being sober not running with the devil.
Peace and tranquility your way 😊

SWTPEA61

It will work if......YOU ARE READY!!!! You have to say goodbye to party Joe......hello tranquil Joe.

SWTPEA61

Proud of you keep going!!!!😊

entropy1964

AA is a really good program. It doesn't magically 'fix' me but if I do what others have done, and what the program tells me to, I'm hopeful it will help me stay sober. Learning to accept the love and guidance of a higher power has always been really hard for me. But I'm learning that my HP is right there, always has been, I just have to stop being so afraid to trust. I'm giving it a shot and so far I am finding relief and peace.

And the fellowship is good. Nothing like being in a group of people that completely understand me. Cause I'm tellin ya, I couldn't walk into Starbucks and start talking about all the crazy shlit I've done over the years. I'd get arrested.