My reason not to drink today...
My reason not to drink today...
It's no secret I've been craving and having urges with Thanksgiving and my son leaving for the week....
I try to find a reason everyday whey I shouldn't... Today I hosted my mom's birthday dinner at a really nice and pricey place, and she showed up buzzed but quickly snapped out of it once she had crackers and bread so that was fine.
My brother showed up smelling of booze and being loud and obnoxious. He kept leaving the table to go up to the bar and do shots. He told me it wouldn't be so boring if we were all sharing wine and conversating... I guess I would be bored too if I was the only one drinking.
I'm just bummed because I went out of my way to have a nice dinner at an expensive place that I paid for and I feel embarrassed and frustrated. He was talking about smoking vape in front of my 15 year old son (which means his liquid weed). He ended up being so dang bored that he left early and missed her cake and candles. Whatever, I still love him to the moon and back.
Sad he just got the interlock removed from his car and he is already drinking and driving again. Gosh
So I don't want to be like that anymore myself and the anger I felt at my own mom for showing up after drinking LATE to her own dinner. That must be how my son feels about me when I drink.
We still all had a lovely time and great food.
I always do a birthday BREAKFAST before there is time to break the seal. Since it was her 60th I wanted it to be extra special. SIGH
I try to find a reason everyday whey I shouldn't... Today I hosted my mom's birthday dinner at a really nice and pricey place, and she showed up buzzed but quickly snapped out of it once she had crackers and bread so that was fine.
My brother showed up smelling of booze and being loud and obnoxious. He kept leaving the table to go up to the bar and do shots. He told me it wouldn't be so boring if we were all sharing wine and conversating... I guess I would be bored too if I was the only one drinking.
I'm just bummed because I went out of my way to have a nice dinner at an expensive place that I paid for and I feel embarrassed and frustrated. He was talking about smoking vape in front of my 15 year old son (which means his liquid weed). He ended up being so dang bored that he left early and missed her cake and candles. Whatever, I still love him to the moon and back.
Sad he just got the interlock removed from his car and he is already drinking and driving again. Gosh
So I don't want to be like that anymore myself and the anger I felt at my own mom for showing up after drinking LATE to her own dinner. That must be how my son feels about me when I drink.
We still all had a lovely time and great food.
I always do a birthday BREAKFAST before there is time to break the seal. Since it was her 60th I wanted it to be extra special. SIGH
Sorry things didn't go as well as you had hoped. Please be careful about unmet expectations and subsequent resentments...they can be recovery killers. Holidays seem to be particular hard for people who don't do well with disappointment.
Good job remaining sober. I hope your brother finds his way. I'm sure mom really appreciated that you recognized her 60th bday! So today's lesson is that you want to set a good example for your son is what I interpret. He deserves a sober mom. As do my kiddos.
Yes so true. From now on I'm going to do breakfast get togethers. lol I get to angry. I'm not anymore but I was at the restaurant. I kept my composure. It hurt my feelings when he said most people would have wine... Because I really wanted wine too. REALLY wanted wine, with his behavior especially.
Yes indeed. And to avoid drunkenness. If I'm not also drunk I just can't stand it. lol I must have made alot of people miserable in my drinking days. Especially my son. I rarely drank around him, but he knows well enough to flat out tell me he doesn't want me to drink.
One of the most important lessons I learned in recovery was I can;t change other people - and I'm not responsible for their bad behaviour.
You tried to do a good thing Sunshine - and you stayed sober - you should focus on that
D
You tried to do a good thing Sunshine - and you stayed sober - you should focus on that
D
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