comtnman740

Hi everyone,
Lately i've been wanting to numb out really badly. I did something that people in AA warn about and got into a relationship pretty early on in sobriety. I had 5 months and then i had some stress related to the relationship and drank so i'm back on day 22. Well today is similar to that night i drank about 3 weeks ago and i'm hanging on for dear life. I live alone in a cabin in the mountains of Colorado. I'm not too far from Boulder. Part of me wants to go on a bender to celebrate how much hard work i've put in to sobriety but that makes no sense. I was homeless living in my truck 18 months ago and now i have my own place, a decent job and a gf. I know i could lose it all. In a nutshell this is a very stressful time and i don't want to deal with my feelings. She has Hashimoto's and she is struggling with her health. I try to be there but she wants to be alone all the time. That's difficult. The job is stressful and the anniversary of my brother's death is approaching. I know he would be happy if i was sober. Anyway, just ranting. I hope everyone has a great day!
Garrison

Ambuler

I know things are hard right now, but I am still struggling to get a day one, much less day 22. I'd give anything to be where you are right now. Please resist the urge. You gotten this far. That's awesome. More than awesome. Don't look back.

comtnman740

Thanks so much for the encouragement Ambuler! Honestly we're all on Day 1 today. One day at a time. I decided to eat something which usually helps.

newpage119

Don't give in Garrison! Alcohol won't help matters and will only make you feel like crap afterwards.

What helped me, I read somewhere ......a book, a post from somewhere, the almighty internet....don't remember, but I remember this"

It gets better. And better. So if I drink now, I will have to go through everything that I have gone through just to get to where I am today....BUT if I push through and continue .....I will have a chance to get to "better".....

And I wanted to know what "better" was.....

After 2 years, I can tell you that "better" is pretty darn good!!!!

Give yourself a chance and and find out......

SnazzyDresser

Hang in there, comtnman! 22 days is awesome, keep it going.

Glad to see you back, Ambuler.

uncorked

Just remember that the craving passes -- always! In the meantime, distract yourself....go chop wood or something (aren't you in the mountains? ) :-) Or watch a movie, take a walk, whatever it takes.

PurpleKnight

Something I began to realise after trying to numb life away many times with alcohol, was life and all it it's problems were still right there in the morning, only with the added bonus of a hangover and all the feelings that come with it, nothing gets solved with alcohol.

We need to find new ways of dealing with the curve balls life throws at us, a few new tools in the toolbox of life!!

Keep pushing through!!

Delilah1

Don't give in, just think how you will feel tomorrow morning when you wake up sober.

Ambuler

Thank you for that

Comtnman this sucks. Numbing only makes it good in the moment for a little while. Then you get to wake up with regret and start all over. Do you really want to do that to yourself? I'm sure you read that and deep inside your heart said No!

Life is always going to be there. I'm learning that...You'll be able to deal with life better sober. Think of how you dealt with life drunk. Was it better? You were numb drunk. Can't make very good life decisions in that state. Living in your truck was OK because you were numb. How'd you feel the next morning/day?

Don't give in.

least

Don't give in! You'll just feel terrible, mentally and physically, tomorrow if you do. Keep going, it gets better and you get stronger.

Dee74

The advice that cravings pass always is great - they really do.
Have you read this link at all?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

K66

I'm jealous of your day 22 right now... I was 3 days in and had a few and ended up leaving work... Again... Because of anxiety... Everyone is right in saying you will regret it I myself am in the self sabotaging faze... Thinking I can do it right but i can't... You need to hang in there... Remember everything that's positive in your life right now... Because the anxiety and nerves are horrible... And we forget how bad it is when we feel good so we think... Hmm maybe I'll have a drink!! Then we remember the next day when every thought and guilt comes crashing down on us... Why we made this decision in the first place...

comtnman740

Hey everyone,
Thanks for all the encouragement i made it through yesterday and now on to today. I've lost so many jobs not showing up to work and i didn't want that to happen again. I ate and then went to bed.
I have to work on living life on life's terms. Alot of stressors lately so i guess i'll just roll with it. It's not very fun though.
Garrison

thomas11

I ate and then went to bed.

That was my go-to for many weekends. It works. Good job.

january161992

reminding myself

its the 1st drink that gets me drunk