Please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Please help
I got 60 days sober. How did I reward myself? I went for "a" drink. Blackout drunk. Don't remember driving home. Don't remember the end of the night. I know I threw up a few times at home.
I am sweating all over and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know what crazy and stupid things I did or said at the bar.
I completely underestimated this disease. I thought with 60 days of abstinence, I had it kicked. I didn't look or post before I drank last night.
I need some words of encouragement. Please tell me it is all going to be ok and I won't feel this way forever. I can't feel this way again
I am sweating all over and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know what crazy and stupid things I did or said at the bar.
I completely underestimated this disease. I thought with 60 days of abstinence, I had it kicked. I didn't look or post before I drank last night.
I need some words of encouragement. Please tell me it is all going to be ok and I won't feel this way forever. I can't feel this way again
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
hi LtL,
You are here now, that is a start. I'm guessing, but someone else can confirm that starting again after one night won't involve the full withdrawal sequence, although I bet you're feeling pretty crap still right now because your body really doesn't like those toxins in it anymore.
We are all pretty much the same here, we're not able to just do one drink, and we just have to realise that. I don't think the number of days without a drink changes that.
Day 1 is always pretty awful, but you will get over this - try and hang onto how much better you felt when you weren't drinking and know you can feel that way again very quickly.
You are here now, that is a start. I'm guessing, but someone else can confirm that starting again after one night won't involve the full withdrawal sequence, although I bet you're feeling pretty crap still right now because your body really doesn't like those toxins in it anymore.
We are all pretty much the same here, we're not able to just do one drink, and we just have to realise that. I don't think the number of days without a drink changes that.
Day 1 is always pretty awful, but you will get over this - try and hang onto how much better you felt when you weren't drinking and know you can feel that way again very quickly.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
You won't feel this way forever provided you stop drinking. You stopped for 60 days and that is a great thing.
Alcoholism doesn't go away and you don't kick it. Accept what you are. You never have to feel this way again. Just don't drink one day at a time. Its really hard, I know, big time. But we is what we is.
Hang in there.
Alcoholism doesn't go away and you don't kick it. Accept what you are. You never have to feel this way again. Just don't drink one day at a time. Its really hard, I know, big time. But we is what we is.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 120
Hello, I am only on day 2 |again| but what's changed for me this time is I've finally realized that I can no longer have just one drink.
To remain sober I have to accept that I cannot drink at all anymore. I relapsed b/c I thought I could. Gone is the time where I could stop at one or two glasses of wine at a time.
Best of luck, I know that it's hard.
Maybe you could sit down and think of other rewards that don't involve alcohol and at what milestones you earn them at? Or, if you want to celebrate with alcohol, go for a walk, run, dance around the house to your favorite songs?
To remain sober I have to accept that I cannot drink at all anymore. I relapsed b/c I thought I could. Gone is the time where I could stop at one or two glasses of wine at a time.
Best of luck, I know that it's hard.
Maybe you could sit down and think of other rewards that don't involve alcohol and at what milestones you earn them at? Or, if you want to celebrate with alcohol, go for a walk, run, dance around the house to your favorite songs?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hi:
You will feel better if you don't drink.
It doesn't matter how much we hear it, we have to live it. You have lived it now. Hopefully you will learn. It took me a while but I finally understood and now I feel great.
Stick around here!
You can do this.
You will feel better if you don't drink.
It doesn't matter how much we hear it, we have to live it. You have lived it now. Hopefully you will learn. It took me a while but I finally understood and now I feel great.
Stick around here!
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
In order for me to stop the drinking merry
go round, the insanity of drinking and addiction,
it was explained to me in rehab, that it is more
than just not drinking that will keep me sober,
but rather changing things in my life, clearing
away the clutter from the past, any kinds of
resentments I maybe harboring, etc, all of
which I can work thru by using a guideline
offered and taught to me to incorporate in
all areas of my life.
I was taught the AA program of recovery
from the very beginning which I listened,
learned, absorbed and applied to my own
life and has been successful for me because
I use it each day I remain sober.
There are other recovery programs
available and can be successful if you
apply it to your own life.
Admitting we have a problem with
alcohol, drugs, addiction then accepting
that fact and that I no longer can
control it alone and need help from
others that can teach me how it works.
If I had rested on my own laurels,
my own way, will, had a little drop
of sober time with no recovery
program as my guideline for a solid
foundation to live my life upon and
thought I could reward myself with
a single drink successfully, then I
would definitely be doomed to repeat
my drinking merry go round never
getting off and either end up drunk,
crazy or possibly dead.
And yes, I wanted to sleep forever 26
yrs ago when I became sick and tired
of the constant failure of trying to stop
drinking on my own.
Thank God for my family for stepping
in to get me help I so desperately needed
at that time in my life. Once I became
willing, openminded, and teachable, then
I began to receive the gift of life, to live
addiction free.
Listen.....Learn.....Absorb....Apply.
go round, the insanity of drinking and addiction,
it was explained to me in rehab, that it is more
than just not drinking that will keep me sober,
but rather changing things in my life, clearing
away the clutter from the past, any kinds of
resentments I maybe harboring, etc, all of
which I can work thru by using a guideline
offered and taught to me to incorporate in
all areas of my life.
I was taught the AA program of recovery
from the very beginning which I listened,
learned, absorbed and applied to my own
life and has been successful for me because
I use it each day I remain sober.
There are other recovery programs
available and can be successful if you
apply it to your own life.
Admitting we have a problem with
alcohol, drugs, addiction then accepting
that fact and that I no longer can
control it alone and need help from
others that can teach me how it works.
If I had rested on my own laurels,
my own way, will, had a little drop
of sober time with no recovery
program as my guideline for a solid
foundation to live my life upon and
thought I could reward myself with
a single drink successfully, then I
would definitely be doomed to repeat
my drinking merry go round never
getting off and either end up drunk,
crazy or possibly dead.
And yes, I wanted to sleep forever 26
yrs ago when I became sick and tired
of the constant failure of trying to stop
drinking on my own.
Thank God for my family for stepping
in to get me help I so desperately needed
at that time in my life. Once I became
willing, openminded, and teachable, then
I began to receive the gift of life, to live
addiction free.
Listen.....Learn.....Absorb....Apply.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I returned to the drink many times after being sober for a while. End result -- I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
This will probably be a lesson learned for you and you can gain strength and wisdom from the experience.
M-Bob
This will probably be a lesson learned for you and you can gain strength and wisdom from the experience.
M-Bob
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
My last relapse was because of *one* glass of wine with dinner. I was gulping down that bottle like I'd found an oasis in the desert! This is when it became clear to me that I will never be able to have just one. I needed to accept that I can never drink. For me one drink WILL lead to getting drunk, getting drunk WILL lead to daily drinking. And daily drinking WILL lead me into all kinds of nasty places.
I never would have believed how much easier it is once coming to that acceptance - no more endless bargaining, planning and obsessing over when and how much I can drink. Now I can just get on with my life.
You can do this!
I never would have believed how much easier it is once coming to that acceptance - no more endless bargaining, planning and obsessing over when and how much I can drink. Now I can just get on with my life.
You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Thank you all, so very much. I am alive. I didn't hurt myself or anyone else last night. I've been given another chance. That's what I have to hang on to right now. I have underestimated this disease. I stopped going to meetings. I stopped logging on SR. Not again
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by HelenofTroy 
I never would have believed how much easier it is once coming to that acceptance - no more endless bargaining, planning and obsessing over when and how much I can drink.
I have never felt as if I was missing out on anything in sobriety. Being sober has only brought with it easier times. For me -- it was a drunken war out there.
We should always be grateful that,
the war is over.
If I forget about the battle
I may re-engage.
M-Bob
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
You don't kick alcoholism, Lovetolisten. You manage it by not drinking, ever. This disease is relentless and it will take you down if you allow it. I'm so glad you're back here and working on your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Draw a line under it and get straight back at it.
You must have been doing something right to make it 60 Days, but tweak your plan, more support and resources to utilise when the feeling crops up again.
You can do this!!
You must have been doing something right to make it 60 Days, but tweak your plan, more support and resources to utilise when the feeling crops up again.
You can do this!!
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,383
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
I have never felt as if I was missing out on anything in sobriety. Being sober has only brought with it easier times. For me -- it was a drunken war out there.
We should always be grateful that,
the war is over.
If I forget about the battle
I may re-engage.
M-Bob
We should always be grateful that,
the war is over.
If I forget about the battle
I may re-engage.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by lovetolisten
I got 60 days sober. How did I reward myself? I went for "a" drink. Blackout drunk. Don't remember driving home. Don't remember the end of the night. I know I threw up a few times at home.
I am sweating all over and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know what crazy and stupid things I did or said at the bar.
I completely underestimated this disease. I thought with 60 days of abstinence, I had it kicked. I didn't look or post before I drank last night.
I need some words of encouragement. Please tell me it is all going to be ok and I won't feel this way forever. I can't feel this way again
I am sweating all over and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know what crazy and stupid things I did or said at the bar.
I completely underestimated this disease. I thought with 60 days of abstinence, I had it kicked. I didn't look or post before I drank last night.
I need some words of encouragement. Please tell me it is all going to be ok and I won't feel this way forever. I can't feel this way again
It is going to be OK because you are not going to stop trying to quit! You had a long run so you know you can do it again. What happened last night that made you go to the bar?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Sounds like you learned the hard way that drinking for people like us is just a really bad idea. I know for me, it took a few kicks in the head to understand that. You had the experience of living a sober life and it's still there for you. Try to look at your experience as just a setback. You should be fine as long as you get back on track quickly. Good luck. John
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
Most all of the ones I know in Recovery share in those same thoughts.
I have never felt as if I was missing out on anything in sobriety. Being sober has only brought with it easier times. For me -- it was a drunken war out there.
We should always be grateful that,
the war is over.
If I forget about the battle
I may re-engage.
M-Bob
I have never felt as if I was missing out on anything in sobriety. Being sober has only brought with it easier times. For me -- it was a drunken war out there.
We should always be grateful that,
the war is over.
If I forget about the battle
I may re-engage.
M-Bob
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by SWTPEA61
Lovetolisten,
It is going to be OK because you are not going to stop trying to quit! You had a long run so you know you can do it again. What happened last night that made you go to the bar?
It is going to be OK because you are not going to stop trying to quit! You had a long run so you know you can do it again. What happened last night that made you go to the bar?
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by lovetolisten
Boredom. The idea it would be nice to socialize. I let my guard down. It was stupid. I ruined a perfectly good weekend
Now I don't go that "route".... No way.
Glad you learned and now one less thing to worry. You know you cannot do the "just have a drink" like normal folks.
PLEASE KNOW ... your message here was good for me too. Because I want to have a social drink. Especially with holidays coming. But I know I can't.
Ya.......It is so much Easier being sober!
Be well!
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