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109 days sober

Old 11-19-2016, 07:58 AM
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109 days sober

Dear SR,

I just wanted to post and say that it has been 109 days since I have had a drink. I wanted to post because my relationship is causing stress and last night a political/human rights convo with her really upset me and had me wanting to drink. I feel that everyone should be respected no matter what their race or religion and she essentially feels the same but doesn't seem to have a problem with what is currently going on in american politics. I understand why people vote the way they do but when I am concerned about the rights of all people and it appears she doesn't respond because she doesn't really care.. It made me question if I want to live with that. Anyway.. We will never meet anyone who believes 100% like us and that probably wouldn't be fun but it was a shocker. Anyway.. I think I have rabbit-trailed from my 109 days but I needed to vent.

Much love everyone and best work on a better life. I didn't drink last night because I know exactly where that will take me. There are no more uncertainties or further experimentation needed. I chose to quit because I wanted a better life and my history with it has been more a sanctuary than a rare party enchancer. I developed an unhealthy relationship with it and that ruined my ability to play that game.

Much love again and best to everyone. Strive for freedom from alcohol. Life is still tough but decisions will be made from wisdom rather than regrettable actions that we will barely or not remember at all.
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Old 11-19-2016, 08:09 AM
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Congratulations on 109 days. I can certainly appreciate having people close to me whose views are different than mine; my boyfriend and I are quite closely aligned, but my parents are a bit to the right of me in some ways.

I don't know if you work a recovery program but AA and others (our Brit friends can tell you about SMART, AVRT etc and I am one who has also used some DBT methods in my recovery) can help us learn communication and interpersonal skills as part of our sober lives. Might be worth a look as I know that AA's principles and tenets- acceptance, getting away from the "I" and service to others, etc- are key for me to being the best person I can be.

My $0.02 is based on what my sponsors (I am on my second one- I just hit 9mo yesterday and have been with her for the last 4) have told me and on my AA program. We can never take another person's inventory - the whys and wherefores of what they do or say or believe are simply beyond our purview. We need to keep our sides of the streets clean, so to speak, and treat others with respect and acceptance in general; not always easy, but this is more about a boundary than about endorsing things we disagree with - detachment with love, if we believe that each of us have a right to be here and are part of a larger (God's, in my case) plan.

Keep going. You can choose your sobriety and only your behaviors and reactions.
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Old 11-19-2016, 08:18 AM
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Thank you August. I appreciate your words in reminding me that others opinions are beyond our pervue. I think I would have liked to speak about my core principals concerning many things now in national discussion and had some acknowledgment or agreement but she has always been a great and trusting person in my life and I understand her experience in this world has been different than mine. After all, I guess our personal experiences have defined our current perspectives. As far as drinking.. I know the isolation of that. The hungover depression and struggle. I'm glad she stuck it out and gave me a chance to get sober. These are life problems and they pale in comparison to the hell I dealt with from drinking.

Thank you for your support and congratulations on your 9 months! Thats amazing!
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Old 11-19-2016, 08:39 AM
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There is a reason people try not to discuss politics or religion. It can be very devisive and people have very strong beliefs about both. It is difficult when it is a significant other, but you know now you both disagree. Best not to go there. Find others online or friends you can discuss these things with instead.
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Old 11-19-2016, 12:45 PM
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Day 109 is fantastic SoberComposer!!
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Old 11-19-2016, 03:02 PM
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Thanks PurpleKnight!
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Old 11-19-2016, 03:26 PM
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No relationship advice here except to say I focus on the big picture.

I don't agree with a lot of people on a lot of things but there are enough points of similarity and empathy in my relationships for me to be discrete and tactful and keep my mouth shut.

I appreciate this is a little different as its your partner but I hope you two can work it out to mutual satisfaction


Congrats on your sober time SC

D
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Old 11-19-2016, 04:33 PM
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Way to go on 109 days sober. I love hearing from others succeeding so well. .
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