soberlicious

Oh and it loves to whisper sweet nothings...hoping there will be a slight crack in the door that it can push its way through. Many people use the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, which assigns those thoughts to that "other" part of your brain that comes up with endless ideas about why drinking is a good idea. So instead of "lies you tell yourself", you can "otherize" those lies and more easily recognize them for what they are. In this way, you can more easily separate from them and not act on them.

Any thought or feeling that suggests drinking is straight from the AV and should be ignored.

Great job on quitting! Keep moving forward!

HelenofTroy

THIS! When my best friend quit drinking a couple of years ago we remained best friends but I grieved having my main drinking buddy. Over time I noticed how good she is looking. I was starting to get red lines around my nose, my skin was dull and bloated, I had developed a bit of a pot belly, and my hair was dry and dull. Fast forward to now, and my daughter told me recently how good I am looking since beginning to quit a few months ago. I went out for dinner with my husband last night and I was surprised at how good I looked when I looked in the mirror. Been a long time since I've seen that girl. I am also good with ego driving this train if it works

HelenofTroy

Thanks Soberlicious. I've just found the discussion thread on that and will start looking into it. I am still in early days and looking for additional tools for when those weak moments strike.

kiki5711

I was like that too. Now, just the smell of wine makes me sick and especially the ugly feelings in the morning. Rehab and this forum helped so much as I started to see that everyone,s story is the same as mine. After rehab, it took me a year being on this forum with those thoughts "well maybe just one, or with super meal" but like you know it is never just one.

uncorked

Freudian slip?
I think you answered your own theoretical question. Sounds like you're very self-aware.

HelenofTroy

LOL Uncorked that wasn't a typo. I probably should have said for clarity "what's the harm in occasionally getting drunk". As noted earlier in the post "a drink" just wouldn't cut it.

jessie65

One drink always just made me irritable. Sometimes I would have that 1 drink at a restaurant, then stop at the liquor store on the way home to finish the job.
It really is easier to have none at all then just 1 or 2.

It is amazing how much a healthy life can improve our looks (especially in our later years!) I'm 51 also and, oh my, drinking like I was, did me No favors.
The whites of my eyes are actually really white again, I thought they were dingy from age! lol My eyes are bright! There was a few weeks there when I would resist drinking just because I loved how my eyes looked.

Shellshocked444

Frickaflip, I am 51 also. :-) How fantastic on 94 days. So many posts I can relate too and like you said if vanity is a motivator I'm all for it.

PhoenixJ

About 270 days now. My whites glisten like sparling diamonds gently kissed by the new day. Truly the baby blues show currents of excitement and love of life. Yea my very soul is bared transparent to the world as such, thus and so on.
Back on the real world even I have noticed unboozed body. Even my wrecked chassis of a rhs torso and arm (booze burns) are healthy. Skin, hair, teeth, lack of belly button lint, fingernails (just stopped a lifelong habit of biting due to anxiety about 3 months ago), and the list dost hence proceed 'txist it's natural courses. Conclusion- not drinking is good for the bod.

MLD51

I quit when I was 51. Almost two years ago. People now often tell me how good I look. It's not my main motivator at all, but it sure don't hurt. I don't hate looking in the mirror anymore. I recently ran across a family photo from Thanksgiving two years ago, a couple of weeks before I quit. I was sober in the picture, (hadn't started drinking yet that day) but you wouldn't know it. I looked tired, bloated, dull, and sad. A forced smile. Now I smile easily, my skin and hair are vastly improved, and I have lost weight around my middle, even though I have now developed an ice cream habit.

I romanticized that "one glass of wine with dinner" for a while in the early days. Until I had the realization that it would NEVER be only one glass, not even if I've been sober for years. I have seen too many people I care about go back and try moderation after sometimes decades of sobriety - and they were right back where they were within a very short period of time. One even almost killed himself - he had had 16 years of sobriety and thought he would be able to handle it. He couldn't. And really - what is the point of one glass of anything? Not even a buzz. All it would do is reawaken the beast and then all bets are off. Easier to just never drink again. Much, much easier. I have fully accepted that I am a non-drinker for life now. And that is a truly great feeling.

HelenofTroy

And here I am at my 60 day mark

It's been 30 days since I wrote this post and it was good rereading it and all the comments. As I have written in my class thread I am not finding it very difficult but I believe that is my AV coaxing me to let my guard down a little so it can pounce when I least expect it. I'm trying to stay one step ahead with eyes wide open, and keep reading on SR several times a day. I also am active on my class thread and a women's thread that I am finding extremely helpful and empowering. To be honest I doubt I would have stuck with being sober if I weren't using SR. I read lots of posts even if I don't always comment. So thanks to everyone here for sharing all their experiences and wisdom.

thomas11

That's great news. Many folks have leveraged SR as a great support mechanism.

ardy

just reading your first post .. mmm I remember a dark red wine with a sparkle.. that was sweet and great with cream pasta.. and shrimp.. have no idea what it was called or where I had it in the 1990's... just that it was good.. and to much I was out like a light...

funny as you go longer in the years without a drink of any kind the less you want or need of it. but this cold or flu.. woke up sat morning hung over head ach... and sick. I should have been drinking the way my body was behaving.. ate something. went back to bed for an hour.. and then off and on all Sat.. and then back to bed at 5pm out like a light until 7am.. felt better.. don't like being sick and not knowing why I am this type of sick... ekekekekek

Soberwolf

Way to go Helen

kinzoku

This hits home.

This kind of excuse making is why I'm on day 5 instead of rounding the bend on two years.

Sip of beer. Beer with dinner. One glass of whiskey with friends. Beer on a date. Beers alone. Six pack alone. Bottle of wine alone. Two bottles of wine alone...ect....

FreeOwl

Great post, thanks for sharing.

I came to realize eventually that "I love a glass of wine with meals" and other such statements were really just my clever way of saying:

"I LOVE ALCOHOL AND AM GOOD AT COMING UP WITH SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE, PERFECTLY NORMAL WAYS OF RATIONALIZING WHY I OUGHT TO KEEP ON DRINKING IT EVEN THOUGH IT IS CLEARLY A MAJOR HARM TO MY LIFE".

Irnldy001

Ah, that's me love. A glass of wine. Just one lovely glass of wine. How divine.
Sadly that's not how my story really goes.....
Once upon a time - and in fact for the first 35 years of my life that was true. I could just enjoy and savour a glass of something lovely.
I don't care anymore to dissect how it evolved into something ugly, but there it is.
Yes, I still romanticize that lovely one gorgeous glass of wine.
Peace in sobriety!

Dee74

Hearty congrats on 60 days Helen

D