The first relapse but back on track
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 1
The first relapse but back on track
Hello 
New here, but should give my back ground story. I'm 29 (turned it in October). I was a college drinker on the weekends and once I graduated, it turned on to full on drinking every day. Started my daily drinking in late 2011/early 2012, and kept that going good. I'm a beer guy so it would be a six pack a day. From May 2015 to March 2016, drank really heavy, sometimes twice a day. Talking wake up drink, pass out and repeat in the evening. So from late 2011 to March 2016, I probably had 180 sober days.
The realization:
March 17th, stopped cold (no withdrawal symptoms luckily). I thought, "what am I doing to my body? Is this how I want to live my life?" And you tie that with reading about the damage alcohol does to your body, I stopped cold. I went 100 days of not drinking. Then I had a half of beer with a friend in late June 2016, then 4th of July partied with friends, and early August went out for a friends bday. Outside of that, no desire to drink what so ever, my mindset was as strong as can be regarding not drinking.
Then in happened:
August 17th
Decided to go to the bar with a "friend" and the rest is history. On August 18th, told myself, I'll only get some beer for today and be done tomorrow (the classic "this is it" or "this is the last time")
Sometimes I'll go a day or two not drinking, or drink in the evening, or wake up, drink, pass out and repeat. Like 16 beers a day. Woke up this morning, drank 8 beers and took a nap and woke up. As I was starting to go get ready to get some more beer, it hit me. I relapsed and fell back into the life I didn't want to live. I decided to read about alcoholic liver disease and people's stories about getting it, I don't know if I have it but I told myself, I'm not going to drink anymore to get it (if I don't have it). Their stories scared me straight again.
The New Beginning:
November 18th
Here I am write now typing this on my phone, about 10 hours into my new beginning. I allowed myself to relapse and I won't allow it again, to me life is more than alcohol and getting drunk. My goal is to not drink again for a long time. I plan on going the next 150 days not drinking and beyond. I'm going to stay focused on this but remain present and guarded not to slip up again.
End rant
So I want to say hello to everyone, I plan on being here for awhile, and happy to join the team
New here, but should give my back ground story. I'm 29 (turned it in October). I was a college drinker on the weekends and once I graduated, it turned on to full on drinking every day. Started my daily drinking in late 2011/early 2012, and kept that going good. I'm a beer guy so it would be a six pack a day. From May 2015 to March 2016, drank really heavy, sometimes twice a day. Talking wake up drink, pass out and repeat in the evening. So from late 2011 to March 2016, I probably had 180 sober days.
The realization:
March 17th, stopped cold (no withdrawal symptoms luckily). I thought, "what am I doing to my body? Is this how I want to live my life?" And you tie that with reading about the damage alcohol does to your body, I stopped cold. I went 100 days of not drinking. Then I had a half of beer with a friend in late June 2016, then 4th of July partied with friends, and early August went out for a friends bday. Outside of that, no desire to drink what so ever, my mindset was as strong as can be regarding not drinking.
Then in happened:
August 17th
Decided to go to the bar with a "friend" and the rest is history. On August 18th, told myself, I'll only get some beer for today and be done tomorrow (the classic "this is it" or "this is the last time")
Sometimes I'll go a day or two not drinking, or drink in the evening, or wake up, drink, pass out and repeat. Like 16 beers a day. Woke up this morning, drank 8 beers and took a nap and woke up. As I was starting to go get ready to get some more beer, it hit me. I relapsed and fell back into the life I didn't want to live. I decided to read about alcoholic liver disease and people's stories about getting it, I don't know if I have it but I told myself, I'm not going to drink anymore to get it (if I don't have it). Their stories scared me straight again.
The New Beginning:
November 18th
Here I am write now typing this on my phone, about 10 hours into my new beginning. I allowed myself to relapse and I won't allow it again, to me life is more than alcohol and getting drunk. My goal is to not drink again for a long time. I plan on going the next 150 days not drinking and beyond. I'm going to stay focused on this but remain present and guarded not to slip up again.
End rant
So I want to say hello to everyone, I plan on being here for awhile, and happy to join the team
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 131
Hey BOT2D. Welcome. Sounds a bit like you want to be a normal drinker but it doesn't quite work out that way.
I hope this place convinces you to NEVER drink again because everytime you fall back in it gets worse.
Most people on here will tell you that.
There's heaps of support here no matter which way you decide to go. Come join the November nobenders, we are all giving up this month.
I hope this place convinces you to NEVER drink again because everytime you fall back in it gets worse.
Most people on here will tell you that.
There's heaps of support here no matter which way you decide to go. Come join the November nobenders, we are all giving up this month.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome BackOnTrack2Day
Yeah there's a little bit of a wrinkle there....
To stay sober I had to accept that my relationship with alcohol has always been toxic and that no amount of time would reset it....
I understand that forever is a big thing to contemplate tho - I had to work up to it. I started with a commitment not to drink that day...then I backed it up the next day and the next ...pretty soon forever was not so unlikely and not so scary.
I hope you find like I did that the benefits of being sober make you change those long term goals to never again, no matter what
D
allowed myself to relapse and I won't allow it again, to me life is more than alcohol and getting drunk. My goal is to not drink again for a long time
To stay sober I had to accept that my relationship with alcohol has always been toxic and that no amount of time would reset it....
I understand that forever is a big thing to contemplate tho - I had to work up to it. I started with a commitment not to drink that day...then I backed it up the next day and the next ...pretty soon forever was not so unlikely and not so scary.
I hope you find like I did that the benefits of being sober make you change those long term goals to never again, no matter what
D
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