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Day 31 Still sober! It feels good! Some days have been stressful but keeping busy really has been the key. When I think about drinking I either check in here or I get busy doing something productive and forget about it in no time after remembering that if I had been drinking I wouldn't have had any motivation to do anything at all except keep drinking. I still get feelings of sadness or the fear of missing out sometimes when I think about never drinking again. And I've avoided a lot of social situations because I don't want to be tempted or have to talk about why I'm not drinking. But on the flip side, I know now that had I not stopped drinking I was going to suffer serious medical problems from it. I had gotten to the point that my ankles were always swollen and my side hurt all the time. There was a fullness under my right ribcage that made it uncomfortable to bend over or move in certain ways. My days were hangovers and my nights were binging. It was affecting my ability to focus and think clearly, which affected productivity at work. I was hungover for important personal events or just drank straight through them, always more than everybody else was drinking. I've gained a massive amount of weight from drinking. I was highly functioning and an extremely happy drunk which is why people have a hard time thinking I had a problem. But I was shortening my life with every sip I took. I don't want to die from this addiction. I don't want to keep forgetting what happened the night before. I don't want to give my wife reason to be concerned. My marriage is the most important thing to me and she needs to know that. I don't want to be the one still drinking after everybody else easily decides one day that they're too old for that sh*t anymore and puts it down like it's nothing - because they're not an alcoholic like me. They can have one fun night every few months and not miss it in between where I was doing it every night. I have to keep admitting to myself that I am different in that way. Anyway, all that to say...it isn't easy every day but every day it gets easier. I want to live and I want to be healthy. I want a future with my wife. I want her to be proud of me. I want to be proud of me. I want to make good choices and drinking isn't one of those good choices for me. |
Originally Posted by NewLeaf
(Post 6213361)
I don't want to die from this addiction. I don't want to keep forgetting what happened the night before. I don't want to give my wife reason to be concerned. My marriage is the most important thing to me and she needs to know that. I don't want to be the one still drinking after everybody else easily decides one day that they're too old for that sh*t anymore and puts it down like it's nothing - because they're not an alcoholic like me. They can have one fun night every few months and not miss it in between where I was doing it every night. I have to keep admitting to myself that I am different in that way. . It seems like to me at 30 days I was over all the withdrawal stuff. It had just become such an ingrained habit that it was strange not to be drinking as a part of my life. But in just a few months, I was over that as well. I hope that helps at all! |
This posts sounds very familiar. I started feeling like a loser in my social circle for continuing to get trashed at clubs and parties at 25/26 when everyone else I know in the approaching 30, 30+ range were able to have a few drinks throughout the night and be fine. :/ I still went out to the clubs, but as time went on, no one would talk to me because they knew I had a problem. All the bouncers know me and that I might be drunk before I even get inside or sneak alcohol in, which sucks because then I have to go get a coffee and provide the receipt, and get searched before I'm allowed in. Having fun without alcohol is something I'm yet to try. Last time I went to a club with my boyfriend sober, I started crying before going in. Then at some point, I dragged him into the alley out back and started a fight with him for talking to my ex. I think it was just out of frustration. Maybe that changes in time. Nice work on the 31 days. Best decision to quit before things get out of control. |
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Congrats newleaf :) D |
Wow! Great post and congrats on 31 days! |
Congratulations, one month is wonderful. |
Thanks to all! And, Upstairs, yes now it seems to be just the habit mostly...the feeling weird to not be drinking sometimes, but it also feels good. Looking forward to it getting easier day by day. |
Hi Newleaf :wave: You could have been writing about me there. I think one of the best parts of sobriety is getting your self respect back. Congratulations on month one. :) |
NewL- congrats. All that stuff happening on your right side- might be liver stuff. |
Congrats! After Day 1, I have always viewed 30 days as the next big milestone since it shows you can live in reality without drinking despite the everyday stressors. |
great job on 31 days!!! |
Congrats on 31 days! Choosing life is the best decision I have ever made. Keep going! |
Day 31 is fantastic Newleaf!! Keep pushing through!! :scoregood |
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