Day One
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 29
Day One
Morning everyone,
I joined earlier in the year but wasn't ready. I am now. I went to my first AA meeting last night. I was incredibly sceptical, but I knew my methods weren't working. Walking into the room is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt like I coudlnt do it and absolutely broke down. A lady came and hugged me, told me that she understood and that it was OK. She held my hand all the time and gave me her number. For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel a sense of hope. My withdrawals have kicked in and I haven't slept at all. Normally I would open a can to ease them, today I'm sat in a coffee shop writing this. A small thing, a normal thing. Not something I've felt or done in such a long time. I spent hours reading this page in the night. That helped. Thank you
I joined earlier in the year but wasn't ready. I am now. I went to my first AA meeting last night. I was incredibly sceptical, but I knew my methods weren't working. Walking into the room is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt like I coudlnt do it and absolutely broke down. A lady came and hugged me, told me that she understood and that it was OK. She held my hand all the time and gave me her number. For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel a sense of hope. My withdrawals have kicked in and I haven't slept at all. Normally I would open a can to ease them, today I'm sat in a coffee shop writing this. A small thing, a normal thing. Not something I've felt or done in such a long time. I spent hours reading this page in the night. That helped. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
Welcome and I am glad you are here.
Walking into those first couple of meetings is hard for sure but I am proud of you. I was talking to a person at my meeting last night and he said that he went to three meetings and didn't get out of his car till the 4th meeting because he was scared and I understand that.
I've been very sceptical of AA since I started going 3 years ago and began going again about a month or so ago and I'm doing 90 in 90. Reaching out is the most important thing and you've done that.
Withdrawals suck but they do pass. Hang in there and keep reading, posting and sharing :-)
Walking into those first couple of meetings is hard for sure but I am proud of you. I was talking to a person at my meeting last night and he said that he went to three meetings and didn't get out of his car till the 4th meeting because he was scared and I understand that.
I've been very sceptical of AA since I started going 3 years ago and began going again about a month or so ago and I'm doing 90 in 90. Reaching out is the most important thing and you've done that.
Withdrawals suck but they do pass. Hang in there and keep reading, posting and sharing :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South East England
Posts: 119
Welcome to SR ☺ I'm new here myself but just wanted to say that this is a great Forum. It is really helping me to stay sober. I find coming on here a couple of times a day really helps my head to keep focused on my recovery and reminds me why I'm here! Anyway I wish you well and keep hold of that sense of hope...getting sober and staying sober is doable!
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
Well done, Notwonderful.
Your experience reminded me of my first meeting.
I remember very little of what was said, but I left with 2 phone numbers.
That made all the difference.
Please make use of the number(s) you've been given.
If they can help you it helps them as well.
Keep coming back!
Your experience reminded me of my first meeting.
I remember very little of what was said, but I left with 2 phone numbers.
That made all the difference.
Please make use of the number(s) you've been given.
If they can help you it helps them as well.
Keep coming back!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
It's so good to have you with us, Notwonderful. I wasn't quite ready when I first joined either. I knew what had to be done, & was gathering my courage and strength. You'll feel so good to be free of it. Congratulations.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 105
Notwonderful, that's awesome,!
May I ask if you ever felt guilt for drinking in the first place? Any self forgiveness needed? I just end up so guilty and ashamed and that would drive me back to square one. I'm just curious if youve had to deal with those feelings?
May I ask if you ever felt guilt for drinking in the first place? Any self forgiveness needed? I just end up so guilty and ashamed and that would drive me back to square one. I'm just curious if youve had to deal with those feelings?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 29
Yes. Tremendous guilt and feelings of upset over wasted time. Time I spent drinking when I should have been with my very young son. Those feelings are almost gone. I have done the right thing for all of us. I'm going to AA meetings and reading a lot. Understanding what is 'wrong' with me helps. In the end of my drinking, it was not a choice. It was out of my control. I'm not trying to absolve myself of any blame, but I understand more the complexities of being an alcoholic. There. I've done it. That's the first time I've called myself that out loud to anyone apart from my husband.
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