SinkingFeeling9

I keep trying and I keep failing. For some reason, I'll do really good, go a month without drinking, then all the sudden I find myself on a weekend binge. I really need to start using my resources, and even if it's as little of posting on here when I want to go on a binge. I have some mild withdrawal symptoms, but I'm just thankful, I got a few hours of sleep last night. Woke up to an insane heart rate, but I do have some meds to at least make it tolerable so I can get to work today. I called out yesterday, which seems to be on par with my normal binges monthly. I wouldn't be surprised if they let me go for my addiction. I'm scared if that happens, cuz I feel like it would really put me in a tailspin of boozing. I always feel like a broken record, cuz I try really hard, and for some reason, the weekend comes and I find myself with a couple bottles of liquor, and drinking all day till I pass out, and then start all over again. I'm just hoping I can get through today without going into a panic of being around so many people at work, and have a 2 hour meeting today. I thought about drinking a little just to get myself through the day, but I chose to go the meds way, cuz I really hate alcohol right now..

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Sinking Feeling. I think you hit the nail on the head with your statement above - you only get out of sobriety what you put into it. There's lots of options you could choose here on SR to stay engaged/accountable - there are monthly class threads and weekend threads you could join in the newcomers section. They are great for staying in touch and also remembering why you came here in the first place.

Don't rule out seeking local help too, there are most likely meetings of several different groups nearby that you could join in on.

Anna

I remember saying 'all of a sudden I found myself buying alcohol'. It took me awhile to figure out that I needed to change my thinking, along with stopping drinking. The weekends are a tough time for you, so plan ahead. Make plans that will keep you away from alcohol and people drinking. You can do this!

teaorcoffee

Agree with Anna - it only started to work for me when I realised I could identify in advance most of the times I'd mess up and avoid them that way.

SinkingFeeling9

Thanks so much for the support, I really do love it here, as it gives me hope. The amount of fear and anxiety one goes a long with drinking, is insane. So, even if I do lose my job, or even have a panic attack, I know there's a place people understand, and are very supportive

january161992

great job sinking

im glad youre moving forward!

Dee74

Hi and welcome back sinkingfeeling - I have to agree with the consensus here.

If you keep going back to drinking, its pretty much a surety you need to devote a little more time to your recovery perhaps?

Lots of suggestions here already - if you need help with devising a recovery plan all you need to do is ask

D