Do you choose a "quit date" to stop drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 13
Do you choose a "quit date" to stop drinking?
Just like my "start eating healthy" and "stop smoking" grand plans - lol
I never told myself I'd try to stop drinking before.
Do people choose a date? Looking at my calendar i see plenty of excuses to postpone quitting - a party, a winery visit, my bday party.
Ugh.... this is some tough s#@t
I never told myself I'd try to stop drinking before.
Do people choose a date? Looking at my calendar i see plenty of excuses to postpone quitting - a party, a winery visit, my bday party.
Ugh.... this is some tough s#@t
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Oh boy, nope not me. The day I stopped, I was done, nothing left in the tank. Judging by what I've seen here over the years, the planning a date in the future doesn't usually pan out that well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
My quit date chose me.
June 26, 2014 I had absolutely no plan or date to stop.
June 27, 2014 I woke up so sick I thought I was going to die.
I had woken up that way hundreds of times but this time was worse. Far worse.
I haven't had a drink since.
I had set quit dates many, many times in the past. I always found a reason to push the date back.
June 26, 2014 I had absolutely no plan or date to stop.
June 27, 2014 I woke up so sick I thought I was going to die.
I had woken up that way hundreds of times but this time was worse. Far worse.
I haven't had a drink since.
I had set quit dates many, many times in the past. I always found a reason to push the date back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I quit 11 days before Christmas, when the silly season was in full swing.
The day before I quit I had a yoga lesson (yes, yoga on a hangover, I was so busy projecting how healthy I was, it was a joke).
I was very good friends with my yoga instructor. She is a beautiful soul. I confided in her that I was drinking too much and told her I wanted to quit. I was ready anyway, I was beginning to break through my own denial.
I said I wanted to quit in the New Year. She said - and truer words have rarely been spoken - if you really want to quit for good, there is no reason to put it off.
The next day I realised my friend was right. I made an appointment to see a doctor and I came clean and she told me to stop immediately. It would be a sober Christmas. I knew my doctor was right too.
When you truly admit to yourself that you must quit drinking and never drink again because it will kill you, choosing a future date to stop is illogical.
It is completely understandable that you are freaked out about stopping. But I think this is part of the denial - in my experience, it most definitely was. When the denial fell away, I completely surrendered and I was no longer afraid to stop drinking.
The day before I quit I had a yoga lesson (yes, yoga on a hangover, I was so busy projecting how healthy I was, it was a joke).
I was very good friends with my yoga instructor. She is a beautiful soul. I confided in her that I was drinking too much and told her I wanted to quit. I was ready anyway, I was beginning to break through my own denial.
I said I wanted to quit in the New Year. She said - and truer words have rarely been spoken - if you really want to quit for good, there is no reason to put it off.
The next day I realised my friend was right. I made an appointment to see a doctor and I came clean and she told me to stop immediately. It would be a sober Christmas. I knew my doctor was right too.
When you truly admit to yourself that you must quit drinking and never drink again because it will kill you, choosing a future date to stop is illogical.
It is completely understandable that you are freaked out about stopping. But I think this is part of the denial - in my experience, it most definitely was. When the denial fell away, I completely surrendered and I was no longer afraid to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
In the past when I tried to quit I made deals with myself that I will quit: after that wedding, concert, holiday.... truthfully, there would always be another excuse.
I quit on January 1st of this year, because halfway through a NYE party the night before I said I was done. There were so many reasons I needed to quit, and I just finally said enough. I n very had a "rock bottom mom not," just lots of moments that I was not as present for as I should have been, and many mornings waking up feeling crappy, and knowing I needed to get through the day.
So to answer your question, the perfect day to stop is today. You can do it, and although it may be difficult in the beginnnin, you will not regret your decision.
❤️ Delilah
I quit on January 1st of this year, because halfway through a NYE party the night before I said I was done. There were so many reasons I needed to quit, and I just finally said enough. I n very had a "rock bottom mom not," just lots of moments that I was not as present for as I should have been, and many mornings waking up feeling crappy, and knowing I needed to get through the day.
So to answer your question, the perfect day to stop is today. You can do it, and although it may be difficult in the beginnnin, you will not regret your decision.
❤️ Delilah
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Like many others the day chose me. My best friend was dying of cirrhosis and I went to the Dr. who told me I was heading there myself. I stopped and got my customary large bottle of wine, went home, and quit. I never even contemplated quitting before it was just a part of my life until it wasn't and never will be again. Today is likely your day...........
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
It's a good idea to find meetings locally. Luckily, with the power of the Internet that only requires Google and about 5 minutes to note the time and venue down.
I found it very scary taking the steps to try to walk through life without my old crutch alcohol (even if I didn't drink every day, it offered the promise of regular relief from myself which I carried with me like treasure) and to get to my first meeting. It really will be easier to just do it today rather than give time for thinking up excuses, dramatic imaginings of how you will deal with this or that situation, deciding in advance FOR people what they might think and say about your decision, etc. I've watched people put themselves through that before.
Sure, it'll be hard to quit ovr the party season. But you know what, it'll be hard to quit in the dark months of January or February, and then there's valentines. Time for dates, or feeling sorry for ourselves if we don't have one. And Easter? You know, you have to drink for Easter, that's what it's all about. And then the weather will be getting warmer, and how can you enjoy a nice warm day without a beer. And isn't there football season in there somewhere, and all those weekends. I mean, weekends - you can't not drink at weekends...... Etc. Etc. Etc.
Honestly - there is no oerfect ir convenient or easiest time for an alcoholic to quit drinking. I used to think it was special occasions that made me drink, but actually it was because I was sad, or angry or happy. Because I didn't have to work the next day. Because I had to work the next day. Because my mum had visited. Because my mum didn't visit but visited my brother instead. Because it was hot - a nice cooling beer. Because it was cold - a nice warming whisky. Because my friends were here. Because I was all alone. Etc, ad infinitum .... there was always an excuse or two.
Instead of thinking of the reasons to not quit coming up on your calender, it might be best to think about why you want to quit. Write those things down. Read them. Expand on them. Don't let yourself forget your truth, because that will help keep you focussed. I don't mean punish yourself for it and feel guilty. Just accept the reality of drinking for you. What alcohol has brought you, and where it has led you.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
I found it very scary taking the steps to try to walk through life without my old crutch alcohol (even if I didn't drink every day, it offered the promise of regular relief from myself which I carried with me like treasure) and to get to my first meeting. It really will be easier to just do it today rather than give time for thinking up excuses, dramatic imaginings of how you will deal with this or that situation, deciding in advance FOR people what they might think and say about your decision, etc. I've watched people put themselves through that before.
Sure, it'll be hard to quit ovr the party season. But you know what, it'll be hard to quit in the dark months of January or February, and then there's valentines. Time for dates, or feeling sorry for ourselves if we don't have one. And Easter? You know, you have to drink for Easter, that's what it's all about. And then the weather will be getting warmer, and how can you enjoy a nice warm day without a beer. And isn't there football season in there somewhere, and all those weekends. I mean, weekends - you can't not drink at weekends...... Etc. Etc. Etc.
Honestly - there is no oerfect ir convenient or easiest time for an alcoholic to quit drinking. I used to think it was special occasions that made me drink, but actually it was because I was sad, or angry or happy. Because I didn't have to work the next day. Because I had to work the next day. Because my mum had visited. Because my mum didn't visit but visited my brother instead. Because it was hot - a nice cooling beer. Because it was cold - a nice warming whisky. Because my friends were here. Because I was all alone. Etc, ad infinitum .... there was always an excuse or two.
Instead of thinking of the reasons to not quit coming up on your calender, it might be best to think about why you want to quit. Write those things down. Read them. Expand on them. Don't let yourself forget your truth, because that will help keep you focussed. I don't mean punish yourself for it and feel guilty. Just accept the reality of drinking for you. What alcohol has brought you, and where it has led you.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Choosing a date is another way to put it off. There will always be some event coming up to that provides the excuse to drink. The quicker you realize the time is now and that there are no excuses the easier it will be. It's any iota of non acceptance that makes it hard.
What's more important, drinking, or alleviating what brought you here in the first place? You know where that's going to lead.
You CAN do this and this board is a great support system.
What's more important, drinking, or alleviating what brought you here in the first place? You know where that's going to lead.
You CAN do this and this board is a great support system.
you can do it!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
My last drink wasn't a momentous day. It wasn't circled in the calendar. I was out, we stopped in a pub. The weather was terrible, I was in a bad mood, and my wife suggested I have a pint to cheer myself up. I drank half of it, and put it down. And haven't had a drop since. That was nearly 18 months ago. I don't know why that was the moment I knew I was done. Part of me wishes I had a more dramatic story to tell. A big Hallelujah moment. A fanfare, applause, cheering crowds or something. But no. There was just a half empty pint left on a table in the pub as we went out into the rain again. But thinking about it, alcohol didn't deserve a bigger send off than that. I let it play too big a role in my life for 35 years. Maybe it was right that I finished by treating it with the contempt it deserved.
If you feel in your heart it's time to quit, quit. Today. Then go look for meetings, and figure out what future plans you need to change to keep yourself sober (it's easier to cancel plans than you think). It's an old saying, but very true. Tomorrow never comes. It's always today.
If you feel in your heart it's time to quit, quit. Today. Then go look for meetings, and figure out what future plans you need to change to keep yourself sober (it's easier to cancel plans than you think). It's an old saying, but very true. Tomorrow never comes. It's always today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,446
I'm with Dee, I've quit for today
I've also struggled a while to achieve full sobriety. Setting a future date gives you an opportunity to still drink. It also can set you up for disappointment if you miss the date. Even if I failed at staying sober, if I was attempting to quit I managed to cut back dramatically and eventually I hit a date where I was able to get some traction. I picked up and quit again the next day. It took me almost a month of fighting before I hit a sober date. (I'm not advising relapses, btw, just that quitting today is always better than tomorrow :-)
I've also struggled a while to achieve full sobriety. Setting a future date gives you an opportunity to still drink. It also can set you up for disappointment if you miss the date. Even if I failed at staying sober, if I was attempting to quit I managed to cut back dramatically and eventually I hit a date where I was able to get some traction. I picked up and quit again the next day. It took me almost a month of fighting before I hit a sober date. (I'm not advising relapses, btw, just that quitting today is always better than tomorrow :-)
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