Sassygrace

Good morning everyone,

I had been trying to taper off, fearing a full blown withdrawal.

This is following a two month drinking spree. You see, I have stopped for months. Even years. And I never touched alcohol growing up. Vanity. Good girls didn't look good with a beer in their hand, and it aged you.

I got married and my ex-husband always had wine in the house. He was Italian and in his family wine every day was quite normal.

Didn't take me long to figure out a glass here and there eased stress, calmed my anxiety, and gave me a boost of confidence.

Well, I binge now. I noticed myself feeling very weird around the end of August. I just felt BAD. Hadn't been drinking and though I could just have a few to calm down. Been drinking since

Today I am not buying any. I actually don't even like it, but seem to have developed this habit of stuffing my feelings. The compulsion to do that is overwhelming at times. I'm like a bulimic, except I use alcohol instead of food.

Is it normal to feel a bit confused and scatter brained right now?

I've been tapering off of 6 per day, and just trying not to scare myself.

My addictive voice keeps telling I NEED alcohol or I'm going to suffer. Scary thoughts abound.

I'm top of that I feel like the weakest most awful person ever .

vulturine

It is normal. I'm just clouded over, feeling that maybe this is a new state of being, and that my brain is so damaged that I might as well buy more booze. It's scary.
Best wishes for your recovery.

Sassygrace

Thank you, to you as well

Very confusing to me that here I am, someone who used to be alcohol phobic, just wanting to sit on the couch and drink. And obsess about things.

I'm just disoriented and shakey. No headache, I'm really surprised.

I'm hoping that with this forum I can stop leaning on alcohol as a crutch.

Still not sure why I go on these binges, unless it just feels good to punish myself.

teaorcoffee

I think feeling a bit "out of it" is normal as you've just withdrawn the chemicals and sugar your body has gotten used to.
Keep going - it does get better after the first week or so.