One year ago today
Nice milestone - congratulations.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Andy, you're my bleedin' hero mate!
It's hard to comprehend just how far you've come, I'm so happy for you and your family.
Congratulations on your anniversary, congratulations on realising the simple things in life are so much more rewarding than getting wasted and congratulations on being a top, top man.
You're an inspiration to me and countless others.
Here's to many more sober years, let's stay vigilant and respectful of our afflictions and I hope to see you soon.
It's hard to comprehend just how far you've come, I'm so happy for you and your family.
Congratulations on your anniversary, congratulations on realising the simple things in life are so much more rewarding than getting wasted and congratulations on being a top, top man.
You're an inspiration to me and countless others.
Here's to many more sober years, let's stay vigilant and respectful of our afflictions and I hope to see you soon.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Andy, I followed your story quite closely because you were in the November 2015 class and I would drop in from the December 2015 class to see what I could "expect" a little further down the road in sobriety. I appreciated all the posts from the Novemberians and they were indeed very helpful to me, yours included.
I know you struggled but your willingness to talk about what you were going through in such a thoughtful and open way was important to me. All the very best - I feel very privileged to be behind the likes of you and Tufty.
I know you struggled but your willingness to talk about what you were going through in such a thoughtful and open way was important to me. All the very best - I feel very privileged to be behind the likes of you and Tufty.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Reading your post has really made my day, RedAndy, absolutely thrilled to see how much your life has turned around. I especially love that you went to a classical concert, and enjoyed it. I know how big a change in lifestyle that is for you. Must be very exciting for you to be discovering a whole new world out there, full of exciting possibilities. Like being a kid again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 376
RedAndy -
Congratulations my friend. I hit my one year next week. I have been to the same dark places. You have so eloquently conveyed many of my same feelings.
We started here at about the same time and there are so many wonderful people here on SR but I will always consider you my sobriety brother. I hope one day we can meet up and talk about how far we have come.
My best.
Congratulations my friend. I hit my one year next week. I have been to the same dark places. You have so eloquently conveyed many of my same feelings.
We started here at about the same time and there are so many wonderful people here on SR but I will always consider you my sobriety brother. I hope one day we can meet up and talk about how far we have come.
My best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Thanks for the further replies they really do mean a lot to me.
Tufty, cheers mate, definitely vigilant and won't be letting any complacency set in - there's no doubt that sobriety takes a lot of hard work but it really is ultimately so rewarding.
Like you say OT it is a whole new world out there and like a kid again with the excitement of trying all these wonderful new things out that I've never given chance previously as there was only interest in 1 thing, I look at it now and think how shallow my life really was but that's in the past and whilst there were of course some good times too my focus is on how much brighter the future looks on this side of the fence.
At last I feel like I have actually a grown up too, something that took an extremely long time to accomplish and wasn't possible until I found sobriety and gave it my all, which will always be the case from here on in.
Thanks IP for that message, yes we did start out together and I've followed your weekly updates through the year too which have been great to read - so glad that we've both come this far and we know this is for real and for keeps - life is so much more settled like this. Hope we can do that one day also it would be great to meet you.
MP thanks also for those kind words - to know that I may have helped you or anyone else is something I take a lot from also, soon be 12 months for you too
Tufty, cheers mate, definitely vigilant and won't be letting any complacency set in - there's no doubt that sobriety takes a lot of hard work but it really is ultimately so rewarding.
Like you say OT it is a whole new world out there and like a kid again with the excitement of trying all these wonderful new things out that I've never given chance previously as there was only interest in 1 thing, I look at it now and think how shallow my life really was but that's in the past and whilst there were of course some good times too my focus is on how much brighter the future looks on this side of the fence.
At last I feel like I have actually a grown up too, something that took an extremely long time to accomplish and wasn't possible until I found sobriety and gave it my all, which will always be the case from here on in.
Thanks IP for that message, yes we did start out together and I've followed your weekly updates through the year too which have been great to read - so glad that we've both come this far and we know this is for real and for keeps - life is so much more settled like this. Hope we can do that one day also it would be great to meet you.
MP thanks also for those kind words - to know that I may have helped you or anyone else is something I take a lot from also, soon be 12 months for you too
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by RedAndy 
It was the day that changed my life forever - a day that finally brought me to my knees and made me realise I was simply out of control, I had to change as I was out of control and absolutely reckless everytime I started - that first drink was lift off and god knows what I would get upto thereafter - i truly never saw or realised the dangers I was putting myself in on a pretty regular basis. At home I was drinking more and more, any chance I got to smoke weed / snort coke / do pills would fill me with excitement, I'd plan everything around making sure they were in plentiful supply - Coke became far far too regular, daily at times and then I'd manage to drag myself back - my life revolved around alcohol and drugs and little else, I carried on as normal just to get to the next time I could escape reality - I truly didn't care about anything or what I was doing as long as I knew I could get out of my mind - once i did all bets were off and what I got upto was anybodies guess - reckless wasn't in it.
After a week long binge (on a business trip !!) I really did hit the wall - hard, my face smashed up - no idea how - my job on the line - my marriage hanging by a thread it really was all falling apart, real panic set in and it frightened the life out of me - my mind was going and it was there and then I realised I had to do something about I had to change - I had to ask for help and do whatever it took if I didn't I was going to lose everything.
The feeling of losing my mind and everything else I hold dear was enough to scare me straight and keep me away from any temptation of a return to the old ways no matter how hard it got and I won't lie there has been some pretty rough times over the past 12 months where I've had to dig in and ensure I didn't give in.
The fear of missing out / life with out alcohol / change (real change) they all scared me but not half as much as where I found myself and gave me something to focus on and keep me on the straight and narrow.
The biggest thing for me over this past few months and what has finally made life more comfortable was the acceptance that there truly is a life after drink and drugs - a much better one as long as you stick with your plan and do whatever it takes to live a more comfortable and productive life, this really was absolutely the key for me.
Accepting that I was never a normal drinker and never ever would be keeps the door firmly shut too, it's never being opened again not even slightly as I know it would be one big dark deep hole at the other side and something I couldn't get out of the next time - NO THANK YOU - I diced with that the last time as the wheels were coming off in every direction and managed to escape, just.
I've reached out for help and listened to many people - something I always thought I was above - I always knew best and nobody could tell me anything.
I sat with a wonderful woman at the local authority drink and drugs rehab centre who gave me both barrels and told me straight what I needed to do - I knew already but I listened and made sure I did what I was told - another first !! I got myself to counselling sessions, i tried AA / NA, took things from them but not for me - can see how they work for others though and would plead with anyone to give anything and everything a go, don't rule anything out, you truly don't know what is right for you but with an open mind we can find the path and work it out. I read everything I could to help - I cancelled everything that was planned, no way I could continue with my old ways everything had to stop everything had to change.
I found SR around a week after I stopped whilst in a really dark place and as low as I could ever feel - whilst I already knew things had to change it was this place that truly made me believe it was possible - I read post after post thread after thread and was astounded at just how many people knew what I was going through and were only to happy to help each other, some very wise people here and I truly thank each and everyone one of you that I have come across and had the good fortune to get to know as you really are all truly wonderful people.
One thing I would encourage any newcomer to do is join the monthly class - this really was paramount in my success in dealing with getting through those early days - people who were at the same stage as you who knew exactly how you were feeling and were there to offer support - I didn't feel in a position at first to offer anything myself but as I have grown as a person over this last year now feel able to offer guidance and hope that I can be of help to others too.
A few months in I also had the good fortune to meet with my fellow class mate Tufty who was and still is an inspiration to me, a fantastic bloke who I have the ultimate respect for - good luck with the new life down under mate. Also a special mention to someone we all appreciate with his never ending support, Dee - thanks mate you've truly helped me more than you will ever know.
At one AA meeting I listened to someone telling me how he had everything and tried to stop but didn't take it seriously enough - he had his own business / a beautiful and loving family / nice house / nice cars but didn't take the problem seriously enough - he went on to tell me how 3 years later he returned in just the clothes he stood up in a broken man - I heard that loud and clear and it has stayed with me too and always will.
In all honesty there isn't anything that alcohol or drugs could offer me anymore that would remotely interest me - it was all an illusion and none of it was ever real, living life with its ups and downs on life's terms, that's real and that's what counts - no need to be on another planet these days this one is just fine and a great place to be with plenty of it to see and a million and one things to do, there's just one that's off limits - I can deal with that.
To celebrate 1 year I took my wife to a classical concert last night, the first time I have ventured into the city centre on an evening in over a year (I was there all the time previously), no interest in bars anymore and doubt I ever will but grabbed a burrito then went for coffee and dessert in a great new little place i'd been told about - something completely different to anything I would have ever done in my previous life but you know what it was fantastic - I am fortunate that I have a wonderfully supportive family around me who allowed me to put things right and I truly couldn't be happier - my wife thanked me last night for the effort and said more than anything she was so glad to have her best friend back, that means so much.
I'll finish war and peace by saying to anyone that has got this far thanks for reading and for any newcomers just starting out please please please do whatever it takes to make those changes it truly is the best thing you will ever do.
grouphug:
After a week long binge (on a business trip !!) I really did hit the wall - hard, my face smashed up - no idea how - my job on the line - my marriage hanging by a thread it really was all falling apart, real panic set in and it frightened the life out of me - my mind was going and it was there and then I realised I had to do something about I had to change - I had to ask for help and do whatever it took if I didn't I was going to lose everything.
The feeling of losing my mind and everything else I hold dear was enough to scare me straight and keep me away from any temptation of a return to the old ways no matter how hard it got and I won't lie there has been some pretty rough times over the past 12 months where I've had to dig in and ensure I didn't give in.
The fear of missing out / life with out alcohol / change (real change) they all scared me but not half as much as where I found myself and gave me something to focus on and keep me on the straight and narrow.
The biggest thing for me over this past few months and what has finally made life more comfortable was the acceptance that there truly is a life after drink and drugs - a much better one as long as you stick with your plan and do whatever it takes to live a more comfortable and productive life, this really was absolutely the key for me.
Accepting that I was never a normal drinker and never ever would be keeps the door firmly shut too, it's never being opened again not even slightly as I know it would be one big dark deep hole at the other side and something I couldn't get out of the next time - NO THANK YOU - I diced with that the last time as the wheels were coming off in every direction and managed to escape, just.
I've reached out for help and listened to many people - something I always thought I was above - I always knew best and nobody could tell me anything.
I sat with a wonderful woman at the local authority drink and drugs rehab centre who gave me both barrels and told me straight what I needed to do - I knew already but I listened and made sure I did what I was told - another first !! I got myself to counselling sessions, i tried AA / NA, took things from them but not for me - can see how they work for others though and would plead with anyone to give anything and everything a go, don't rule anything out, you truly don't know what is right for you but with an open mind we can find the path and work it out. I read everything I could to help - I cancelled everything that was planned, no way I could continue with my old ways everything had to stop everything had to change.
I found SR around a week after I stopped whilst in a really dark place and as low as I could ever feel - whilst I already knew things had to change it was this place that truly made me believe it was possible - I read post after post thread after thread and was astounded at just how many people knew what I was going through and were only to happy to help each other, some very wise people here and I truly thank each and everyone one of you that I have come across and had the good fortune to get to know as you really are all truly wonderful people.
One thing I would encourage any newcomer to do is join the monthly class - this really was paramount in my success in dealing with getting through those early days - people who were at the same stage as you who knew exactly how you were feeling and were there to offer support - I didn't feel in a position at first to offer anything myself but as I have grown as a person over this last year now feel able to offer guidance and hope that I can be of help to others too.
A few months in I also had the good fortune to meet with my fellow class mate Tufty who was and still is an inspiration to me, a fantastic bloke who I have the ultimate respect for - good luck with the new life down under mate. Also a special mention to someone we all appreciate with his never ending support, Dee - thanks mate you've truly helped me more than you will ever know.
At one AA meeting I listened to someone telling me how he had everything and tried to stop but didn't take it seriously enough - he had his own business / a beautiful and loving family / nice house / nice cars but didn't take the problem seriously enough - he went on to tell me how 3 years later he returned in just the clothes he stood up in a broken man - I heard that loud and clear and it has stayed with me too and always will.
In all honesty there isn't anything that alcohol or drugs could offer me anymore that would remotely interest me - it was all an illusion and none of it was ever real, living life with its ups and downs on life's terms, that's real and that's what counts - no need to be on another planet these days this one is just fine and a great place to be with plenty of it to see and a million and one things to do, there's just one that's off limits - I can deal with that.
To celebrate 1 year I took my wife to a classical concert last night, the first time I have ventured into the city centre on an evening in over a year (I was there all the time previously), no interest in bars anymore and doubt I ever will but grabbed a burrito then went for coffee and dessert in a great new little place i'd been told about - something completely different to anything I would have ever done in my previous life but you know what it was fantastic - I am fortunate that I have a wonderfully supportive family around me who allowed me to put things right and I truly couldn't be happier - my wife thanked me last night for the effort and said more than anything she was so glad to have her best friend back, that means so much.
I'll finish war and peace by saying to anyone that has got this far thanks for reading and for any newcomers just starting out please please please do whatever it takes to make those changes it truly is the best thing you will ever do.
grouphug:
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
A huge congrats RedAndy.. i am 4 days behind you for my 1 year! I am mentally preparing for my thread to newcomers like you. SR is my place of sanctuary, I owe so much of my own freedom to the several members in here who have kept me on the right path.
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