ipa1001

hello, its my first time on here. i wanted to shaqre my story for some feedback as im worried about how much alcohol im drinking.

this all started back in 2007 i was an extremly light drinker until i started to expierince anxiety for the first time. i didnt know how to handle it until one day i was out with friends and hd a drink and felt cured. so then strated my routine if i had anxiety i would have some wine even a small glass. well then my tolernce built up i started to consume more and more to get the same effect drinking some day 2 bottles wine. Finally i gave in and took some meds for anxiety and returned to normal drinking patterns. I have been modering with 2 beers a day for 3 years with a few slip ups. Heres the issue i can drink in complete moderation no problem if my anxiety is low. However if my anxiety increases then i start to drink more and more and then i start to get anxiety about the drinking and withdrawals. For example this past sunday i started to feel a pain in my stomach, then i got paranoid about it so i drank some beer to ease it. Monday it was still there so when i got home i had 3 beers. tuesday i was still anxous so i had 5 beers before bed, then i wouke up at 2 am full blown panic so i had 5 shots of whisky spaced out. wed morining i woke full blown panic scared i was having withdrawals not i dont know if i was because my anxiety gives me the same effects. So i drank nothing until 3 pm then said to myself ill have just one beer well that turned into 7. so here i am today no alcohol tpook .5mg of ativan to ease anxiety. Heres my issue i can go months and months with no problem having just a beer or two then this mess happens. am i an alcoholic do i need to quit for good. also one more question qhwn it comes ti withdrawals if your not having minor ones 15 hours in is it possible to have major ones later

thanks for reading

vulturine

This post sounds exactly like me with the benzos and increasing the drinking later on due to anxiety.

I hope you are able to get something out of this forum.

Fly N Buy

Alcohol is oft referred to as cunning, baffling and powerful. Your thread eloquently illustrates these traits.

Alcohol wasn't my problem - it was my solution. I had to find other solutions. The effects of alcohol are very elusive. Mine was an obsession that drinking could relieve my ills. Frankly, it did for a time.

However, alcoholism is indeed progressive. What worked today, doesn't tomorrow. Some will say it doesn't matter if it's understood that one is an alcoholic. I heartily disagree with this sentiment. For if I don't understand this, I am likely to forget or talk myself into drinking again.

A diabetic shouldn't eat sugar, right?

Today I have found other solutions. There are many. Anyone can find the help they need IF they have the desire to quit drinking above all else.

Welcome, glad your're here - keep coming back

Elke516

welcome ipa1001. You're at the right place. You'll find a lot of stories here and lots of support.

Hevyn

We're so glad to have you with us, ipa.

I had that problem too - no matter how determined I was - that first drink would lead to me being drunk. Every time. I hope you find the encouragement you need by posting here. Welcome.

Delizadee

Welcome to SR ipa! You'll find a lot of good support and resources around here.

Everyone is different in terms of tolerance and withdrawal levels. Have you discussed anything with your dr? It's always a good idea to do so.

I hope you stick around, read and post lots. Sobriety is a great place to be.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum IPA!!

Steely

Hi ipa. Sounds like you drink for all the wrong reasons, and self medicate with alcohol. That's what I do/did too.

It always spiralled out for me so better for me to quit, and to work on my anxiety realistically. Alcohol failed me as an anti anxiety agent in the end.

emme99

Hi & Welcome ipa

ipa1001

Thanks for the replies so if someone can moderate all year and then this happens am I an alcoholic?

Maggie0119

Wow--this is exactly what happens to me. I know I have a problem. I drink to relieve the anxiety too and then it just creates more problems.

Berrybean

Maybe so. And maybe not. One thing is evident and that it that its high time to learn some new and improved ways of dealing with anxiety and stress.

Sometimes I could drink without things going pear-shaped. Sometimes I couldn't. Thing is, it was never clear to me when those dodgy times were. And if someone on one of those days had told me, if you drink today, feeling like you do, there will be trouble, then I still would have taken that first drink that opened the door to insanity. As time went on, the insanity drinking episode got more and more frequent, and the moderated drinking sessions were less and less satisfying, as they turned into a mental battle to stop when I'd promised myself I would rather than just a fun social jaunt. Now I have got sober the negative impact on all areas of my life has become increasingly evident to me. My finances, my work life, my family life, my sex conduct, my health, and how I felt about myself and life. All these things were negatively impacted. No wonder everything felt so bleak and hopeless.

I struggled to stop drinking (far more than I'd anticipated that I would). And once I'd done that, then I needed to start the learning. The recovery. Adjust my faulty thinking and alcoholic perspective. Find ways to accept life on life's terms. To come to some understanding about my own character flaws in relation to why I reacted to and dealt with problems and life and people as I did. This is all recovery work.

If you've spotted that alcohol is problematic for you, why would you continue to drink it if you're NOT alcoholic?

I'd recommend ordering and reading the little AA book Living Sober. It's full of wisdom. It might also help to go to an open meeting of AA (open meetings are for alcoholics and people who are not alcoholic, but want to find out more about it - perhaps people like yourself, or friends and family of alcoholics who are or are not in recovery). You wouldnt need to say anything. You could just listen to what people say and see if you spot any similarities with your own thinking.

Alcoholism isn't just about drinking. When we stop drinking we still have alcoholic traits that make life tricky for us. If you look at the steps of the AA recovery program, there are 12 of them. Only the first of them even mentions drinking. The other 11 are all about learning to live sober without fear and resentments, and finding some serenity in a world that will never be perfect, with people who will never act, be, do, say or think how we want them to act, be, do, say, or think.

Wishing you well in your voyage of self-discovery. BB

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! I used to have wine at night to help with anxiety as well. It turned out that drinking the wine made me more anxious.

Dee74

Hi ipa and welcome

I think you can get hung up on labels too much sometimes - even if you drink once a year and you end up paranoid and anxious, there's obviously a problem there that needs fixing.

It's actually the worst thing you could so for your anxiety to drink on it because drinking creates anxiety...if you're self medicating with alcohol,
you'll end up with your original anxiety, and an anxiety because you are craving - you want to drink to make everything better.

Noone can answer your withdrawal questions here because we're all different and none of us are doctors anyway.

I'd see your doctor about all of this - I really would. Be totally honest with them too.

I'm not trying to scare you tho - if you're working hard to space out your drinks like you say based on my drinking years, I reckon the great likelihood is you probably won't get worse symptoms later...but I just dunno for sure man.

see your Doc

D

Maudcat

Welcome to Sober Recovery, ipa1001. Glad you found us. Dee and the other posters are correct when they say that alcohol exacerbates anxiety. Seems like in the beginning, alcohol is a calming substance. Helps one to sleep and stay serene, but over time all of that changes. If you would like to stop drinking, I would begin with AA. The organization has helped a lot of people. I would also suggest that you start with your physician. Get checked out and let him/her know of your concerns. Lots of people stop drinking and stay stopped, and they do this in many different ways. Find the way that works and go to it. Peace.

thomas11

Only you know if you're an alcoholic, but by your description, I think we know the answer. If you read around here long enough you will see hundreds of people who used alcohol to remedy anxiety. In the end, it exponentially increases anxiety, to the point of your panic attacks. I hope you are able to quit, your life will improve, along with your anxiety.