Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
Help
Hi there, I have been reading this site for a while and just decided to join as I really need help. Drinking for years but the last few years have been particularly bad 2 - 3 bottles of wine a day. Stop for a couple of days and then straight back to the same routine. I'm home all day, bored and feeling lonely. So I drink to pass the time. Have depression and severe anxiety. Please somebody help me. I don't want to do this anymore.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Welcome Kimmy!
You know what?
You are not alone anymore!
I found being engaged here on SR really helped me to quit drinking. There is so much to learn and like minded people to guide you.
You know what?
You are not alone anymore!
I found being engaged here on SR really helped me to quit drinking. There is so much to learn and like minded people to guide you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Welcome to the family!!! You are NOT alone!
Start reading here and educating yourself about alcoholism. Things like PAWS, play the tape, AVRT, HALT, etc. knowledge is power. Then make a plan and follow it with discipline. Read and participate.
This place is a great resource that has helped many of us change our lives and you can do it too!!!
Nice to meet you and hope to see you around.
Start reading here and educating yourself about alcoholism. Things like PAWS, play the tape, AVRT, HALT, etc. knowledge is power. Then make a plan and follow it with discipline. Read and participate.
This place is a great resource that has helped many of us change our lives and you can do it too!!!
Nice to meet you and hope to see you around.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Kimmy and welcome
Well if you're bored and lonely make a plan to change that. Go to the gym, join an exercise class, check out meetups for different groups, church groups, AA is great....change it up. Bored and lonely are two big reasons I drink and with some motivation, fairly easy to remedy.
Well if you're bored and lonely make a plan to change that. Go to the gym, join an exercise class, check out meetups for different groups, church groups, AA is great....change it up. Bored and lonely are two big reasons I drink and with some motivation, fairly easy to remedy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
Thanks for the welcome posts. I really à want to do this. Finding it so difficult. It's my habit. Finding it hard. Have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful daughters. I am so ashamed of my drinking. Try to keep it as secret as possible. It's like a vicious circle. I get so down when I drink and on the days I don't I feel great. I'm happy with myself and I think I can do this. Then a couple of days go by and I'm back to square one.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
I also find that I have very little motivation to leave the house. I want to be able to do this but I feel so down all the time. I am also quite shy and even find myself turning down an invitation to go for coffee with anybody who asks. Thus I have very few friends which leads to more isolation.
True strength lies within
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Welcome Kimmy,, i have been down that road as well. And you can break the cycle,, find something to do with your time, keep busy. I know it beckons to you, but take a stand and say no,, its so so hard, but a game changer. You will find so much help and support here, if i even so have as much of an urge,, i come to this site for support and encouragement. Its been a godsend. Im only 21 days in sober,, but i feel fantastic and you can to ! Sending good vibes your way hun !
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by Kimmy2002 
I also find that I have very little motivation to leave the house. I want to be able to do this but I feel so down all the time. I am also quite shy and even find myself turning down an invitation to go for coffee with anybody who asks. Thus I have very few friends which leads to more isolation.
BUT - when I quit drinking after a week.... I was "clean" and sober and my outlook was much better.
You said you are shy... You need to get some confidence and being in control of your drinking helps gain confidence ... Also .. may I suggest a good long walk. Works wonders for the mind!
Lastly, how about heading out for a while to a local coffee shop with your ipad or tablet if you have one... Allows you to get "out" and surf the 'net and have a cup of something. It's good to get out of the house!
I'm rambling here... need more coffee... I'm on my day 15 not drinking and feeling good today
But just want to add some support and ideas!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 158
Welcome Kimmy! You've found a great place to start. I'm doing it 1 day at a time. I just think "I will not drink today!" I can't think about tomorrow or next week. Today is day 7 for me and I'm finally starting to feel better. You've got this!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
You could start by joining the November class in the Newcomer's section. People starting out their sobriety just like you. Supporting each other. It's an awesome support group.
I use the 24 hour thread as well. Each day I promise not to drink. Just for today. You can do anything 1 day at a time.
Welcome to SR!
I use the 24 hour thread as well. Each day I promise not to drink. Just for today. You can do anything 1 day at a time.
Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Palm Coast, FL
Posts: 152
Hi Kimmy - you CAN do this....what you need is to get over the hump and get some momentum...
TRUST ME...I know how hard it is...I am 51, have been a HEAVY drinker my entire life. Last couple years drank EVERY DAY...8-10 beers every night and much more on weekends.
Successful in work, etc - but I honestly could not see myself NOT drinking even for 1 day - even though I KNEW I had a problem.
I dont know what pushed me over the edge. Maybe my age? Saying to myself "I am 51...if I dont stop this my ENTIRE life will have been affected and possibly DEFINED by my heavy drinking".
Today is Day 20 for me. I cannot believe that I have gone 19 full days without 1 drop.
Are bells and whistles going off? No...but I feel MUCH better about myself, my future, and my ability to deal with life in general.
20 days is nothing....but I feel that I have momentum and am really making a change.
You can DO this....just get through Day 1 w/o a drink and start the journey.
I read on here - it is OK to be bored
Good Luck!
TRUST ME...I know how hard it is...I am 51, have been a HEAVY drinker my entire life. Last couple years drank EVERY DAY...8-10 beers every night and much more on weekends.
Successful in work, etc - but I honestly could not see myself NOT drinking even for 1 day - even though I KNEW I had a problem.
I dont know what pushed me over the edge. Maybe my age? Saying to myself "I am 51...if I dont stop this my ENTIRE life will have been affected and possibly DEFINED by my heavy drinking".
Today is Day 20 for me. I cannot believe that I have gone 19 full days without 1 drop.
Are bells and whistles going off? No...but I feel MUCH better about myself, my future, and my ability to deal with life in general.
20 days is nothing....but I feel that I have momentum and am really making a change.
You can DO this....just get through Day 1 w/o a drink and start the journey.
I read on here - it is OK to be bored
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Kimmy,
Welcome to SR!! You will find lots of support on here. Two good places to start posting are in the monthly classes; you can join November 2016, by just posting in there and introducing yourself. Also, the 24 hour thread.
I am also a mom of three kids, and wine was my downfall as well. I was feeling very similar to you at the end of 2015. I had spent about three years alternating between short periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation. On NYE I decided I was done with alcohol, and I have been sober now since January 1, 2016.
The thing I did differently this time was I had a plan, and I focused on recovery. The first few weeks I planned out every minute of the time I would have normally been drinking. I went to the gym., went for walks, read books about recovery, took my kids to activities, or someplace like the park. I also spent a lot of time on here. Gradually it got easier, and now the thoughts of drinking are very infrequent, and when they do occur I think about how I will feel waking up with a hangover, and that helps to refocus my thinking.
What do you enjoy doing? Maybe you can take a class, even if it is online. How old are your kids, are they involved in any activities? Some of my closest friends are moms I have met through volunteering at my daughter's theater, or parents from soccer.
Start by making a plan for today, read around on here for ideas on supports that will work for you. If you have any wine left in the house, get rid of it, having it there will be too tempting later on.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it. Looking forward to seeing you on SR!!
❤️ Delilah
Welcome to SR!! You will find lots of support on here. Two good places to start posting are in the monthly classes; you can join November 2016, by just posting in there and introducing yourself. Also, the 24 hour thread.
I am also a mom of three kids, and wine was my downfall as well. I was feeling very similar to you at the end of 2015. I had spent about three years alternating between short periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation. On NYE I decided I was done with alcohol, and I have been sober now since January 1, 2016.
The thing I did differently this time was I had a plan, and I focused on recovery. The first few weeks I planned out every minute of the time I would have normally been drinking. I went to the gym., went for walks, read books about recovery, took my kids to activities, or someplace like the park. I also spent a lot of time on here. Gradually it got easier, and now the thoughts of drinking are very infrequent, and when they do occur I think about how I will feel waking up with a hangover, and that helps to refocus my thinking.
What do you enjoy doing? Maybe you can take a class, even if it is online. How old are your kids, are they involved in any activities? Some of my closest friends are moms I have met through volunteering at my daughter's theater, or parents from soccer.
Start by making a plan for today, read around on here for ideas on supports that will work for you. If you have any wine left in the house, get rid of it, having it there will be too tempting later on.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it. Looking forward to seeing you on SR!!
❤️ Delilah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
flguy 1. I guess I always have this thought in my head that I'm not strong enough to do this. I know that's not how my mindset should be but feel like it's hopeless sometimes. Thanks for your support. I hope to be in your shoes very soon. X
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