Mariofran1213

I am sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks. I am so lost, so upset, miserable. I had 18 months clean and sober and my life was awesome. I relapsed and I don't know how to get back. The withdrawals are terrible and I can't get my feet to take me to detox. I'm in jersey. On top of that I spent all my money and haven't eaten or smoked a cig in two days and I'm going crazy. So sad. So lost. I need help.

CuppaRosieLee

Oh Mariofran , I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. You have done so well to make that sober time so you know that these feelings will pass and you have done the right thing to come here and reach out. You are not alone, there is a lot of support here and advice from people more experienced than me. You can do this again and it will get easier. You're among friends here x

wildflower70

Mariofran,

Maybe look at this as a learning experience, as opposed to a failure. You have come so far, 18 months is amazing! Remember to.....eat, rest, warm showers, light exercise, repeat.

Forgive yourself, you can do this again! One step at a time

least

I hope you can find help to get back to recovery.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Mariofran!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!!

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me for I also had a nice amount of clean and sober time more than once and returned to my sinful ways and found myself even more messed up than before. I didn't know if I could ever get back.

But, not drinking or using one day at a time -- once more worked.

You can do it again.

M-Bob

Notimetoloose

You can do this, you are amazing you had 18 months and felt amazing.. plant these awful memories of how you feel with this awful relapse and go forward happy that you won't get fooled by your addictive voice again. Don't take that first drink.

flguy1

How long were you relapsed? was it just 1 night or did it last for awhile?

Either way - it's ok! Dont beat yourself up...we are all human...forgive yourself for screwing up and start over again...the sooner you stop the sooner you will be back to feeling good again. You can do it!

FreedomCA

Sorry you are going through this. I relapsed after 10.5 months after finally finding peace and happiness in my life, and I gave it right back. I was so depressed that I drank daily for the next 3.5 months, and I was very lucky nothing bad happened, although it very likely could have. I was unable to get back my Day 1 and thought I was doomed until I finally was able to get back on track and now have 13 days. And even though I don't have 10.5 months, I feel I have gained back a lot of that peace and happiness.

Dee74

Welcome mariofran

chgecking in here everyday and posting really helped me gain some traction...I hope we can help you do the same.

It all starts with a Day One.

D

ReadyAtLast

Hi Mario,

I totally understand. I had 3 1/2 years and started again. on and off. I'm on SR a lot of the time and reading the AVRT book.I'm concentrating on doing what worked for me at the beginning last time. Just concentrating on making the most of each day, eating well, exercising, trying to be positive and grateful for what I've got and more importantly, what I've got to lose. It's working so far.

hope you stick around and find a way through.

Mariofran1213

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I def need a detox first. I've been using for a year. The night before I always say I'm going to go to detox the next day. But it never happens. I get scared. I know i have to do it. I can't kept living like this. I'm so miserable. 😢😢

samsepiol

Take one day at a time and keep reading and posting, it will help.
18 months is great and shows that you can do it.
Try to identify the triggers as to where things went wrong and what the helpful things were to keep you sober for that time.

trachemys

C'mon, Mario. Stand up for yourself. You can do this.

FreeOwl

Your life is still awesome.

You need only choose it.

Today is the choice to be day ONE again.....

Today is the day you can recall as the day you chose and acted to re-embrace and honor your awesome life.

None of the things that happened yesterday matter today.

Today, you have it all.... you need only choose to keep it.

Truthbetold76

Get into detox. Make today a better day. You don't have to live miserably anymore. You had 18mths and that doesn't change You can do this.

Nonsensical

It ain't your feet that's stopping you. It's that addict living in your head. Put it in a box and let it know you're done with letting it be in charge. Then walk yourself down to detox. When that addict tells you it can't be done, plug it's air hole.

You can do this.

wpainterw

Mariofran: You can get back. First thing is to get medical advice, either outpatient or, if the doctor advises, inpatient for a few days. They will give you medications to ease and speed the withdrawal symptoms, make you more comfortable and help you start to sleep again. You had eighteen months and you need not start "over again". Build on your year and a half experience and pick up where you left off. Do it with the help of other persons in recovery. Relapses happen. They happened to me. I had several relapses and hospitalizations after 7 years of sobriety. Finally got sober, Found a congenial AA program and have not had a drink for 28 years. Try to find out why yours happened and learn how to guard against it happening again.Rational Recovery is also a good program and has several insights that I think can be used even though one is also in AA. Smart Recovery is another program which provides group fellowship. And keep posting on S.R. We will help you! Good luck

Bill

shockozulu

Mariofran, if you haven't reached out to detox maybe a stop by your ER is in order to get the ball rolling. Also when I quit nicotine cold turkey it brought on depression so that may be a factor as well. I'm glad you reached out to SR

thomas11

Mario, sorry you are miserable. I think you should approach this like the medical crisis it is. First things first....you need to get sobered up. Take that first step and get into detox. Please. Wish you the best.