Emzeh

So I am new from yesterday, and I have failed today..day 2. I wanted to lie and go to day 3 tomorrow but everyone is so open, honest and kind here, that not only would I have the shame of lying to myself, I realise we all encourage each other from day one and I do NOT want to lie to you amazing people.
Bullet points (as a person that has an issue with 'reward' behaviour)

Pros (in my head)
- I joined the forum so I am clearly trying
- I cooked the meal that I was meant to cook on Friday
- I cleaned my living room
- There was half a bottle of whisky anyway so I will just have one (drank the rest of the half and the first half that I drank on Friday wasnt mine to drink anyway) - yes alcohol in my house will be a no no from this day forth, what a pleb!

Cons - I am an idiot

MICAH87

Don't beat yourself up. It is early days and its tough. Tomorrow is a new and sober day

CuppaRosieLee

Thank you for your honesty emzeh. You're not an idiot, you're here so you've taken a step forward and you're trying. That's a good start, there's lots of advice here so please stay and keep trying. Sending you strength and best wishes

Emzeh

Well I feel that I owe that person a bottle of whisky (they are not horribly unsupportive they didn't know I was taking this step) so instead of buying it back I will send them the cash to make amends by bank transfer

ScottFromWI

Being honest is a cornerstone of sobriety in my estimation emzeh, so good for you for catching it and keeping accountable. Keeping your house alcohol free from now on is a smart move too, dump out or get rid of whatever you have now if you can.

Emzeh

Yes it was a silly move not to get rid, even though it wasnt mine to drink (who cares about that!). All gone, restart properly. I just feel bad that I lasted two days

january161992

glad youre back

MidnightRider

Tomorrow will be a GREAT DAY 1!

2muchpain

The important thing is that you keep trying and NEVER GIVE UP. Beating an addiction is tough, but many have done it, and so can you. Also, you're not an idiot. Look at it this way, doctors, therapists, drug counselors, etc., have been in same boat as you. You'd think they would know better, but it has nothing to do with knowing better. Alcohol has only one goal, to kill anybody in it's path no matter who you are. I would suggest some outside support if you don't have any right now. Makes it much easier. John

Emzeh

Well now I have stupidly awoken the beast, all the shops are closed so I want to drive to the nearest supermarket for a couple of beers. I am having a cig and dragging myself to bed.

Dee74

Hi Emzeh

I think beating yourself up is pretty futile really., Look at where you went wrong, think of how you might have handled it better, and then move on

I recommend everyone think about a recovery plan - how exactly you'll stay sober.

This link is a great start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

Emzeh

Thanks Dee, I started on one of these but clearly thought it would wait until tomorrow. It should never wait until tomorrow!