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Critical comments hurt, even if you don't mean them to

Old 11-06-2016, 07:34 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser View Post
I'm kinda mystified by this whole topic. SR has always seemed crazy nice to me, almost to a fault. I'm sure not picking up a mean vibe in the threads I'm reading, and I read most of them in Newcomers and also Alcoholism.

People often seem much harder on themselves that the people commenting/encouraging; that's the pattern I notice most often.
That's because it truly is just words on a screen, and someone could very well BE trying to insult me, and I can still choose to frame it in a positive light. That is not as likely a scenario as the possibility the reader is taking things more personally/negatively than they are intended by the poster.

Sometimes we have absolutely no control over how we process what's coming in.. we are what we are.
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Old 11-06-2016, 07:54 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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The good thing about SR is that you can employ an ignore function that we have no access to in real life

Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
D
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Old 11-06-2016, 09:37 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Im glad those posts didnt keep you away.

I think for me , this is post 3,468 or something like that. In those 3 thousand odd posts there have been a couple if times where I've been accused of being unkind or hurtful. In each of those incidents I have reread my post a few times and 'kind of' seen how it could be misinterpreted, if emphasis was put in places that I hadn't intended, or a malicious rather than light-hearted tone was used. In each of those incidents I was mortified that I could have hurt their feelings and apologised. There is so much room for misunderstanding online, esp when people are busy, or and responding in a hurry, and esp with people from so many countries and regions on one site, so tone and emphasis will vary from one member to another.

I for one hope it wasn't me that upset you, and will continue trying not to upset anyone of any forum, but esp the Newcomers one.
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