Sat on my own - not wanting to join in
 

Been feeling really good and really comfortable lately however found myself in a situation that I've avoided for the last 12 months and now wishing I could get away.

We're round at our friends who we have only seen once in the last year through my choice of not wanting to be around the scene we always were, my best mate of many years and we came round to offer a bit of support as his dad his terminally ill and in a really bad way with a matter of weeks to live, our wives went out for the afternoon together and there's a few other family members round here but as always the drinks are now flowing and the volume is rising, it's a situation I've avoided on purpose - feel myself getting anxious and not wanting to stand and chat with them as they all get stuck into the drinks - I really don't want to drink and of course I won't drink and I will drive home later but truth be told I would prefer to make my exit now it's just not possible at present, talk of getting a takeaway.

I guess just stay put on my own is the answer - just thought I'd post here as its not feeling comfortable right now and not in the mood for chatting to anyone at all.

Exit plan I usually have in place doesn't feel like it's an option given the circumstances and it's a case of sitting tight just rather uncomfortably and a little anxious - good place I've been was pretty confident that I'd be ok here today.

Hi Andy, sounds like a really uncomfortable situation for you and I understand your anxiety, hang in there and well done for staying sober:)

Hi Andy,

That sounds uncomfortable. Will your wife be coming back soon? Could you maybe ask her to? Just so you have some support IRL? Or there's always fake call apps if you really need a get-out quick! Otherwise, know that the feeling of being uncomfortable and anxious is only temporary and it's only for another couple of hours, maybe? This too shall pass. Keep going.

Is there a dog that needs walking? Fresh air and all that. Or text wife, beg for rescue. Hang in there.

Sorry if not clear there - the wives are back.

The kids have just decided to come and sit with me and watch a film so keeps me occupied with them until the food comes - eat and then make a move.

RedAndy it does sound tough but then so is terminally ill. Joining in is not important but being present is, in these circumstances

You are there and you are sober RedAndy, grit your teeth and leave when appropriate

Exact circumstances 2 days ago while attending a friends funeral. Haven't been around that scene with the mutual friends of my friend whom passed away. They were all going to local bar to mourn together and drink. I felt like a smuck that I didn't attend. But I paid my respects by witnessing the beautiful services and saying my goodbyes to her personally. If you are in jeopardy then leave now. They will not really notice you are there or not if they are getting intoxicated. And maybe the fact you aren't drinking makes them uncomfortable too. So just a thought that this is your life at stake as well. Maybe you can express to your friend that you love and care about him and to call you for a personal visit tomorrow. Good luck

Sat listening to drunks discuss brexit and the forthcoming American election is not my idea of fun anymore and certainly not interested in getting involved in the conversations - arggghhh get me out of here !!

Not that uncomfortable anymore just fed up and waiting to go.

I don't want to talk about the American election either. And I'm American. Can only guess how you feel. Arrghh indeed.

In situations like that I try and make myself useful...hand out nibblies, tidy the kitchen a little, or whatever.

Watching a film with the kids was a really good idea too.

All I can tell you Andy is it gets easier...being around heavy loud drinkers is never going to be my idea of fun again, but I can bear it for a few hours now, when necessary :)

It sounds like your doing very well considering the circumstances. Wait for the opportune time and bolt!

Back home now - decent drive home which I always enjoy now half a choc muffin with peanut butter ice cream then bed.

Goodnight all and thanks for the support this evening.

Good job getting through that, Andy!

Sorry I missed this earlier, Andy. Proud of you for making it through. As the others said, it does get easier and less intense as you get some sober time behind you. We're learning to live again in a different way - you're doing great.

Great job getting through that, Andy. Bravo on reaching out to SR when you were feeling anxious!

Glad you are home now!:-)

Thanks Dharma and everybody else and glad I did as it crossed my mind that all I've been doing lately is championing how good I've been feeling and still do by the way - proves we really don't know how quickly that can change when in a situation we weren't expecting but can't really avoid, all part of the process and learning I guess, glad I went although I can't see it being a regular occurrence - my wife enjoyed catching up with everyone and my friend of course appreciated the support so grin and bear it was the way forward on this occasion and reaching out here definitely helped.

Back to a more sedate pace today with a bit of car cleaning and a couple hours or so of watching my team and other soccer - see what time my wife surfaces and how well she's feeling - never handled the following day well at all in all the years we've been together but still does it to herself - glad I don't have that to contend with anymore.