Hopeless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 20
Hopeless
So, as many times as I try over the years it just doesn't click. My AV is so strong it's like I have no will power to deny its urges. When it strikes it wins. I don't even think differently. I think I'm hopeless. I have good intentions and then they are snuffed out right away. I've been trying to quit for 17 years. Wouldn't you say I'm a hopeless failure by now? The only way I could stay sober at this point is treatment and I recently lost insurance. Obamacare sucks. I previously worked in a treatment center that promised addicts care if they voted for Obama. They got NOTHING. And there is nothing for me right now. Nothing I can afford. Nothing I can pay for under the Insurance I was forced to have. Just a fu-king fine at the end if the year..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 20
So I guess my whole thread is getting turned into a political thing because someone wants to tell me I can afford $1100 come January for my insurance with no rehab coverage. No coverage at all really. I came here for help. Not your political bull. This site is definitely not what it was.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,541
Lots of people relapse for many years Beabetterme. I don't think you are a hopeless case, no-one is forever while they are trying.
I just relapsed after 8 months, once had 5 years up but am back giving it another go.
Think too that it is difficult when you work in a facility. On the one hand you are supposed/expected to have the answers, whilst on the other, in the throes of it yourself.
Very conflicting, and very easy to believe that you really do have the answers and can somehow manage it all on your own, or that you really don't have a problem because you have the knowledge, right?
No D&A worker likes to admit they have a problem with alcohol or other drugs it goes against the grain, but.....it can get anyone of us.
Do you have any support?
I just relapsed after 8 months, once had 5 years up but am back giving it another go.
Think too that it is difficult when you work in a facility. On the one hand you are supposed/expected to have the answers, whilst on the other, in the throes of it yourself.
Very conflicting, and very easy to believe that you really do have the answers and can somehow manage it all on your own, or that you really don't have a problem because you have the knowledge, right?
No D&A worker likes to admit they have a problem with alcohol or other drugs it goes against the grain, but.....it can get anyone of us.
Do you have any support?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
If it helps, I tried to quit for many years. It wasn't rehab that finally made me stop.
It was taking responsibility for myself and taking action.
I went to AA. It's free. I came here, it's free.
I was a serious drunk. If I wasn't working, I was drinking. I worked a trade where it was considered okay to go to the bar and drink at lunch. And I did.
Then I was injured, and the drinking went to almost every waking moment.
Shooters of whiskey at 8am. Drinking them on the way home from the liquor store because I couldn't wait. Then beer from there. This went on for ten years.
I'm telling you this to qualify myself as a hopeless drunk. I saw coworkers die.
I saw friends, drinking buddies, lose it all.
I lost it all. Homeless, sleeping on friends couches is all that saved me from the streets. Still I drank. And would for many years.
There is help out there. You never gave up trying. When I reached the bottom, neither did I.
I drank while attending AA meetings. I drank when I came here. I drank.
Finally, after attending those meetings and coming here it clicked. Here were people who drank like me and had successfully stopped. I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any lengths to get it.
I put the energy and time I used to drink into getting sober.
I drank alcoholically for twenty five years. It's been five years ten months since alcohol crossed me lips.
I didn't go to rehab. I didn't blame others for my problem when there was free help available and willing to help this drunk.
I can certainly relate to what you're going through. I did the same thing for a long time. The AV is gone. Life is good. I never gave up trying, it took a long time, but it worked.
I wish the same for you.
It was taking responsibility for myself and taking action.
I went to AA. It's free. I came here, it's free.
I was a serious drunk. If I wasn't working, I was drinking. I worked a trade where it was considered okay to go to the bar and drink at lunch. And I did.
Then I was injured, and the drinking went to almost every waking moment.
Shooters of whiskey at 8am. Drinking them on the way home from the liquor store because I couldn't wait. Then beer from there. This went on for ten years.
I'm telling you this to qualify myself as a hopeless drunk. I saw coworkers die.
I saw friends, drinking buddies, lose it all.
I lost it all. Homeless, sleeping on friends couches is all that saved me from the streets. Still I drank. And would for many years.
There is help out there. You never gave up trying. When I reached the bottom, neither did I.
I drank while attending AA meetings. I drank when I came here. I drank.
Finally, after attending those meetings and coming here it clicked. Here were people who drank like me and had successfully stopped. I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any lengths to get it.
I put the energy and time I used to drink into getting sober.
I drank alcoholically for twenty five years. It's been five years ten months since alcohol crossed me lips.
I didn't go to rehab. I didn't blame others for my problem when there was free help available and willing to help this drunk.
I can certainly relate to what you're going through. I did the same thing for a long time. The AV is gone. Life is good. I never gave up trying, it took a long time, but it worked.
I wish the same for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi beabetterme 
I didn't go to rehab so.... although it's helped many it's not mandatory for recovery
People are just trying to help here...I think it's important not to get stuck on a tangent on threads like these.
I struggled for 15 years before I finally accepted I was an alcoholic and could not drink - ever - not if I wanted a different life from the one I had.
Posting here daily really helped me - getting involved in group threads like the monthly 'Class of' threads is a great support for example.
Change is vital - and reaching out here when you're in trouble and don;t want to make the same old decision to drink is vital too
D
I didn't go to rehab so.... although it's helped many it's not mandatory for recovery
People are just trying to help here...I think it's important not to get stuck on a tangent on threads like these.
I struggled for 15 years before I finally accepted I was an alcoholic and could not drink - ever - not if I wanted a different life from the one I had.
Posting here daily really helped me - getting involved in group threads like the monthly 'Class of' threads is a great support for example.
Change is vital - and reaching out here when you're in trouble and don;t want to make the same old decision to drink is vital too
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
I found myself thinking I could never quit, feeling hopeless after so many failed attempts. Not sure when I first posted on SR but it was well over a decade ago. Just couldn't get past a month in all that time but now I've done over three and my whole world has changed beyond recognition.
In just a few months yours could too, it really can happen. You can do this, you are stronger than your addiction.
In just a few months yours could too, it really can happen. You can do this, you are stronger than your addiction.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
The feeling of hopelessness is horrible, but there is help out there. Like mentioned AA is a free, there are numerous other online resources, you can try contacting the salvation army and see what they can do about possibly arranging rehab if you still want to go that route
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Unless you plan on living in a locked room for the rest of your life, at some point it is up to you to decide your own fate. You have tremendous power to choose wisely, and no one else can do it for you.
AA is free. SR requires an internet connection.
I did not go to rehab. Daily drinker for decades, married to someone who still drinks and alcohol is in my house at all times. None of that matters, because no one else pours that wine down my throat but me.
You CAN do it.
AA is free. SR requires an internet connection.
I did not go to rehab. Daily drinker for decades, married to someone who still drinks and alcohol is in my house at all times. None of that matters, because no one else pours that wine down my throat but me.
You CAN do it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Yes, I think you can get through this too. I'd be carefully about linking recovery to a particular type of rehab or some kind of external funding - it's about internal things rather than external ones mainly, I think.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
I didn't go to treatment. I don't believe it's a magic bullet. I think that the motivation you have to stop drinking is more important than the recovery method you choose. You are not hopeless and you can make this work!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by Beabetterme
Wouldn't you say I'm a hopeless failure by now?
Past attempts have no bearing on future success. It doesn't matter how many times you've tried before, you can do it. You might not believe you can, but you can.
Your AV will come. It will huff and puff and try to blow your house down. You know this, so plan for it. Read, learn, connect with others...make a plan of action.
It's your AV telling you that you are a lost cause. You don't have to listen to it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
I have tried, on and off, to stop for years - I do know why this time is working - I am more determined and I feel more supported because I can come here.
Most of the people here have been where you are, I haven't heard anyone here say that this is their first time trying to stop and the magic worked just like that.
Hearing Dee say to people, again and again, "what's your plan", has finally imprinted itself a bit on my brain, and I actually did something about it. It seems stupid to say it now, but it never occurred to me that you would need to plan ahead to make this work.
I toyed with the idea of rehab and finally came to the conclusion, that, for me, hanging onto the idea that I might need to go to rehab was just stopping me biting the bullet and getting with it.
At the end of the day, even if I went to rehab, I'd still have to stop and stay stopped when I got back to my life, and the problem was how I was organising my life.
The longer I go without alcohol, the more I realise how easily I caved in the past and, to be honest, that was on me - no rehab would have made it different. Now I'm seeing myself cope better because I'm more organised, I have more motivation to be more organised.
I don't think anyone is a hopeless drunk, otherwise we wouldn't have all the people here who finally made it after years of trying.
Most of the people here have been where you are, I haven't heard anyone here say that this is their first time trying to stop and the magic worked just like that.
Hearing Dee say to people, again and again, "what's your plan", has finally imprinted itself a bit on my brain, and I actually did something about it. It seems stupid to say it now, but it never occurred to me that you would need to plan ahead to make this work.
I toyed with the idea of rehab and finally came to the conclusion, that, for me, hanging onto the idea that I might need to go to rehab was just stopping me biting the bullet and getting with it.
At the end of the day, even if I went to rehab, I'd still have to stop and stay stopped when I got back to my life, and the problem was how I was organising my life.
The longer I go without alcohol, the more I realise how easily I caved in the past and, to be honest, that was on me - no rehab would have made it different. Now I'm seeing myself cope better because I'm more organised, I have more motivation to be more organised.
I don't think anyone is a hopeless drunk, otherwise we wouldn't have all the people here who finally made it after years of trying.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I went to several (at least 3) rehabs; they didn't do it for me.
I had to want rehab more than I wanted to drink, then I had to work hard to stay stopped.
I also used AA, and now I attend both AA and Women for Sobriety.
I had to want rehab more than I wanted to drink, then I had to work hard to stay stopped.
I also used AA, and now I attend both AA and Women for Sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 77
Thanks, congratulations on your courage
Dear Hopeless,
I struggled with alcohol for over 40 years. My older brother died from it and my younger brother came very close to death from alcohol poisioning several times.
My younger brother almost bled to death, drunk trapped in a car wreck at age 21.At age 50 he went to jail for 3 duis got out of jail, guzzled handles of cheap vodka for a while then quit cold turkey. Had grand mall seizure, almost died again. Got out of hospital started drinking again. Back to jail,
made plea bargain with judge. Went away to salvation army 9 month rehab. Got out started drinking immediately. Tried to detox himself again, had another seizure. This time he was remained conscious.
He finally put down the bottle.
Having seen all the suffering that my brothers endured I continued drinking until I hit my own rock bottom.
Hope this helps, hang in there.
Drinking is an elevator ride to hell.
I struggled with alcohol for over 40 years. My older brother died from it and my younger brother came very close to death from alcohol poisioning several times.
My younger brother almost bled to death, drunk trapped in a car wreck at age 21.At age 50 he went to jail for 3 duis got out of jail, guzzled handles of cheap vodka for a while then quit cold turkey. Had grand mall seizure, almost died again. Got out of hospital started drinking again. Back to jail,
made plea bargain with judge. Went away to salvation army 9 month rehab. Got out started drinking immediately. Tried to detox himself again, had another seizure. This time he was remained conscious.
He finally put down the bottle.
Having seen all the suffering that my brothers endured I continued drinking until I hit my own rock bottom.
Hope this helps, hang in there.
Drinking is an elevator ride to hell.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
