Mattq2

I recently went to a wedding and it was definitely a party. I knew many people and do to the situation had to have conversations with more than one person that was absolutely hammered. It was horrible and one of the most uncomfortable situations I've dealt with in a long time. I've been thinking about this for a month now. Am I a hypocrite now that I have a few months of sobriety and now feel superior to them? Do I feel shame because in them I see myself? I don't know and really don't want to be hypocriticle as I have no right at all. Have you guys experienced this?

kevlarsjal

My drinking's been pretty much all or nothing for the past 6 years. I knew I wasn't able to moderate my drinking like others can but I had no idea I had a serious problem with it.

Whenever I was going through a phase of being sober I just couldn't stand drunk people. I thought it was such unnecessary, annoying behaviour. Now I think it might have been jealousy. Who knows.

But then again I came to the conclusion that only drunks can stand drunks. It's hard, if not impossible, to understand a drunk persons logic or sense of humour when you're sober yourself. So I try to avoid interacting with drunk people whenever I can.

Editing to add this: I don't think you're a hypocrite. It would make you one in my opinion if you were still drinking. You did drink in the past, you realised it's bad and you changed it. People change and you changed for the better. Drinking may not be as harmful to them as it was to you but drinking an amount to get really pissed isn't anyone any favours.

trachemys

Do you feel superiority or shame? Or do you just want to be out of that life?

flguy1

I say "Boy That used to be me. Was I that bad? Yes...OUCH!"

Good reminder for why we are doing this!

REsoberALITY

I don't know if feeling "superior" to them makes you a hypocrite!? Do you actually feel that you're above them because you are sober now? I haven't felt this way. I've felt sad for people who I know have a problem (in my eyes) but" judging" them seems more hypocritical. I've also felt happy that people can drink and also overendulge without having it consume them and take over their lives (even when it was all I could do to muddle through a drunken conversation) I think these feelings you have or are questioning will pass with time. What I know, is that everyone has problems, shortfalls and vices (be it with alcohol or other things) and we all have one thing in common, imperfection. In that, the playing field is always level. Try my best to work on the things I know I still need to within me and hope they can do the same.

Sober'sBest

I find those fun trips... A mirror in time... Drunk's imbecilic primitive IQ is an opportunity to view their psyche, etc. .. Also a reminder why I enjoy life sober... I'm not missing anything... and they can't harsh my mellow.


Also I view life praying:

Almighty friend God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank you

.

.

Mattq2

No I guess it's more shame. I was forced to see the old me. All I know is it wasn't something I could laugh off at the time. I just wanted to run away

REsoberALITY

In addition, I'm guessing you don't really feel that way at all. (Superior) I think you're meaning something different, you're more trying to figure that out?!

REsoberALITY

I completely understand that feeling. All we can do is move forward like we have. We can't change where we've been, shame or no shame. We can use it now to our advantage.

entropy1964

I do know what you're saying Matt. When I'm thinking along those lines I know I need a big drink of humility. I've relapsed too many times not to know that there is, at times, very little between me and that first drink. Most of the time I am pretty confident that I won't drink, until I do. Compassion and humility.

thomas11

Its part of the growing process in your sobriety. You need to experience these things to get a complete picture of the old you and the new you. Just tuck it away for future reference.

Mattq2

Thanks Thomas. That was well said

BlissWithin

I feel really uncomfortable around drunk people nowadays so I try to socialize as little as possible. Maybe I'm projecting, who knows?

Incontrol15

As I approach 19 months sober, I notice my view has changed.

1st half year or less : jealous. Wish I could drink like a normal. Looks like fun. Wish I was drunk too, etc. Couldn't stand to be near drunks.

2nd half year: was I that annoying? OMG. I just want to slap this idiot straight. Couldn't stand to be near drunks.

3rd half: I am superior. I rule. I am the bomb! Now I can be around drunks and bless them with my presence

Dee74

I'm not comfortable around drunk people. I don't really think any deeper than that Matt

D

Mattq2

That's what's so weird Dee. I'm not comfortable around drunk people either, but I was drunk people! I was real good at it too

LadyBlue0527

Don't overthink it. I think it's a good thing that it makes you uncomfortable. It's a sign that it's nowhere you want to be.

D122y

Matt,

I agree w Dee. Drunks now are ,at best, awkward, at worst, ......scary...

When I am w my drinking family it is like watching a car crash in slow motion...... a 4 hour car crash....yikes...!

I cover my face w just 1 eye exposed, ready to cover it from fear...hypothetically...

I see them regress from a craving being, into a drunken one. It is always sad.

I smile, I talk. I am ready to catch Dad if he trips, try and calm my sister down when she starts freaking out over some pent up drunk issue etc.

I am lucky to have several sober relatives as well. We sort of group up and watch the drunk show.

It is not funny or fun...more like our duty as family....in over 50 years of family drunken get togethers....we never had the cops show up...luckily...

Thanks.

Mattq2

D122y,
It's pretty amazing that you maintain your sobriety through all that.

Berrybean

You might be a hypocrite if you were judging those people, but it doesn't sound to me like that's what you were doing. You were just stating how it made you feel experiencing it from the other side. And that is fine. And yes, it can feel a bit like a mirror to our old selves can't it - bringing back memories of what we were like when actively alcoholic.

Sounds like, although unpleasant, the wedding served to reinforce your decision to make the change and choose sobriety over being a drunk bore.