Early Days but feeling positive
 

Saturday morning, after a 7 hour drinking binge, I almost lost the 3 of the most important things in my life.

After lots of tears and honest chat with the mrs I admitted to her and, importantly, myself that I have a drinking problem.

We agreed to get through it together and get whatever help I needed to be able to give her the best of me

I joined this forum the very same day

Sunday was an emotional and difficult day, I had no idea how our marriage would survive and really wanted a beer but knew I had to abstain otherwise it really was over

Monday I phoned AA (this was the second time I had phoned them in 3 years), again more tears and the undeniable realisation that I cannot control drinking, it controls me and I need help. He agreed to get a local AA meeting attendee to call me

Throughout the day I had so many emotions, fear, anxiety and panic were the most common ones. I also convinced myself I didn't need to go!!!

We met up 1hr ahead of the meeting and talked, it was enlightening, refreshing and honest. At that moment I was no longer afraid and was ready for the meeting

Went to the meeting and some of the stories made really struck home, there were people younger than me and people much older than me but all there trying to get the same help.

I am so glad I went, I was made to feel welcome and not one person judged me. I was told I am courageous and brave which was the opposite of my feelings of weak and afraid

Today, I have woken up positive and glad that I've finally taken the first step. There is still a long way to go but I'm on the right path!!

I'm staying around thanks for all the support that I've been given and for the support I've yet to get

Happy Tuesday everyone, hope you all have a good day

One day at a time Bob. I may not know much, but I know that things get better when we are sober...Hang in there, and SR has really helped me, so I hope it can help you too , along with the AA you have started.

Bob,

What you are dealing w is not a mysterious force....you are not weak, or crazy...

You are addicted. Like being addicted to cigarettes, cocaine, or meth.

The addiction is physical and mental.

It will take about a week to detox. Then your body and mind will take months and years to heal and get used to normalcy.

I thought I was going insane at 80 days clean. I googled my feelings and found SR. The wacky feelings I was dealing w was my brain dealing w life w out drugs. It has a lot to do w dopamine and endorphins. Exercise helps recovery.

I got the information I needed to analyze my situation. Addiction lies in the emotional mind. We use analysis to defeat it.

That is why we say...play the tape. We know the outcome before we even start drinking. Because we remember why we quit.

AA was later in my recovery. I really haven't used it directly. I do pray every day and admit to God he is in control of me etc.

Read the stickies...make a recovery plan.

Read and post. Accountability and belonging help w recovery.

Thanks.

Good on ya Bob.

This is great news and I hope you are proud of your achievements so far. I just returned to AA after a relapse and the support has been great, especially when I don't even want to come online and just want to isolate - I'll put myself out there for an hour meeting, listen and I've genuinely never come back from a meeting and regretted it!

This is such an exciting journey for you and I'm glad you're getting help and support

Congratulations on taking the first steps Bob! There is a lot of support here.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, Bob. Early days are the most challenging. Others have done it. You can too. Good luck. Peace.

sounds like you're moving forward Bob :)

D

great testimony

keep coming back!

God bless

:You_Rock_

:tyou