RCnut

Well I'm sure no one remembers me. I was here a couple years ago, made some good adjustments but then got back into my old habits again. It has to stop. Had to go home from work because of panic attacks. Haven't had one of those in years. I went to the Urgent Care and was honest with the doc. I didn't sleep last night cause I took a nap Sunday afternoon and in the morning I felt bad. Then I had a coffee which made me worse and tried to drive to work. I was panicked in the car and it was very hard to focus on driving. Got out walked around, got back on the road, fine. Went to get some breakfast then getting badly antsy again waiting in line. Got to work, panicked again and about lost my breakfast. Fast forward to the doctor visit. After answering his questions, he said these are withdrawal symptoms. I was not aware it was that bad. I commonly have some anxiety and can deal with it fine. Right now I'm OK at home, he gave me a prescription of twelve .25 Xanax cause he didn't know me. That's about worthless. I need to sleep tonight. I know withdrawals can be really bad but I feel ok now just and little anxiety in my stomach. Will I feel better tomorrow after some sleep? I dumped out my vodka bottle when I got home. I just told my boss I wasn't sleeping well for a while which is the truth and I was feeling panicky. Since I drive a commercial truck for a living, he saw I was agitated and didn't put me on the road. I tried very hard to work but when I about panicked walking to my truck, I decided I was very unsafe to drive. In face, I waited an hour before I left to calm down. I want to sleep but waiting till tonight so I don't wake up in the middle of the night again. Don't know what I'll do if I can't work tomorrow. Part of this is a sleep issue, but the alcohol is making it worse.

entropy1964

Hey RC
Welcome back. Yep, sounds like withdrawal. Actually that Xanax should really help. Just take as directed. Can you take a couple days off cause ya can't drive on that stuff. If you get worse you can always go to the ER for help.

You can do this. And the cool thing is you never have to go through this again.

Forward12

That's the procedure with a home withdrawal for your doc to give you some benzos to calm the anxiety, allow you to get some sleep, and also fight off the other nasty effects you'll be feeling for a couple of days. Use this experience as a reminder of the hell that comes from the drinking to stay sober.

teaorcoffee

Welcome and good luck. I don't know if it's possible, but agree with Flikaflip, if you could take a couple of days off, it might help.

RCnut

I really don't want to take another day off but if I'm tomorrow like I was this morning it won't be possible. I was physically debilitated. I can't drive?even on the .25 xanax? It's such a tiny dose. There are guys who drive on larger doses. But that's different I guess. It's new to me so will give a slight buzz. I'm sitting outside right now feeling a good bit better. Just getting ready to pass out some candy.

mfanch

Welcome RCnut. I can't give you medical advice, but I can advise you that you will need a plan.

Getting a recovery PLAN and executing it gave me direction and purpose. AVRT, AA, SMART, painting class, whatever. Your brain will start squawking about a drink and you will need to be ready.

Glad you are here.

RCnut

No plan yet but to abstain. Oh and quitting smoking too at the same time. Sounds crazy, but the two go hand in hand in my mind. My desire to feel better and do more is stronger than my want for alcohol. Just got a book out that I bought a few months ago and never cracked. I'm just Here for the Food by Alton Brown.

Dee74

Welcome back

I don't have any advice of withdrawal but I really do recommend making a plan - now, not later when you get round to it, cos if you're like me, that will invariably be the moment you need it...

make a declaration of intent for change, today

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D

RCnut

Ha! Even the doorbell with kids trick or treating is making me jump! Honestly there is beer in the fridge, I want nothing to do with it, but that ice cold coke looks really good. That's what I am trying to resist now. Maybe I should have a smoke later to calm down, but that's a stimulant. Trying to stay away from those. Gotta quit it all. The damn sugar, too!

kevlarsjal

Maybe don't restrict your self too much at once? Giving up drinking, smoking and sugar all at once but you still want to go to work tomorrow? That sounds like quite a lot. Of course I don't know about the reason you want or have to reduce your sugar intake (if there is any medical reason for you to do so) but maybe just focus on not drinking for now and cut down your sugar intake later.

I'm very much into healthy eating but the first week of my recovery I ate a ton of sugar and fatty food to fight of my cravings and also cause I just wasn't able to cook myself a proper meal.

RCnut

Because of anxiety... sugar will not help my anxiety or insomnia. I caved and ate a small box of DOT's from the kids bag. Hey, it's Halloween! Yeah, work tomorrow is my biggest concern or I'm gonna have to explain what's going on.

kevlarsjal

Oh I didn't know sugar was bad for anxiety. Anxiety was one of the reasons I started drinking daily and of course the drinking just made it worse. I still struggle with it. Maybe cutting down on sugar is worth a try in the future.

About work... Can't you just get a doctor to cover for you? Tell your boss you have a bad cold or stomach problems and maybe not work for the first days of recovery.

I mean I don't know your boss or what kind of contract you have but admitting that you have a drinking problem when your job is to drive... I don't know if that's the best solution.

FLCamper

RCnut, I'm with kevlarsjal- don't be too hard on yourself. Get through the alcohol withdrawal.
You're doing well. Keep it up and you'll be so glad.

thomas11

I feel for ya man. It will all go away when you quit drinking the vodka. Its so worth it. Hate that panicky feeling. Hang in there and I wish you well.

RCnut

Up this morning early. Feel better but not 100% calm. Drinking a cup of decaf right now with no sugar and heading to work early to see how I feel once I get there. I think the physical activity of my job will do me well if I an get on the truck. I was wrong about the dosage, it was just enough and no lingering affects this morning. But I will take the pills with me just in case.

Ooona

With the type of work you do ( commercial trucking) I would consider speaking with an attorney about your job. Here in the US, the DOT is very strict about taking medications and/or the use of alcohol while operating a motor vehicle.
Im not sure where you live but in the USA, Substance Use Disorder ( alcoholism) is protected under the American Disabilities Act. A person can not be fired for having this disease or going to treatment for it. Coming forward and requesting help will not result in termination. Of course this will require someone to seek treatment and follow through with all of the requirements of that but that accountability could actually a very good thing.
As I mentioned, speaking to an attorney would probably be a good first step.

Yogini1603

I'm glad you're getting help with the withdrawal. My symptoms appeared in a bunch of different ways - huge waves of anxiety, vomiting due to the anxiety, headaches, sweating...it felt like a really bad case of the flu with a horrid anxious element to it. It does pass though and you said you're already starting to feel better today. Once it's all over and you're off the Xanax too, you'll start feeling good :-)

RCnut

I don't and will not drive under the influence of anything. I never have, hard as that may be to believe. I'm not putting a target on my back no need to. I don't want anyone to tell me to go to meetings that my schedule will now allow. That's why I come here. They can test me, I'm clean. And just take something at night. Just for now. Not trying to replace one addition to another.

Tonight I feel a little anxious, not really bad at all. Slept somewhat better last night. The .25 is a little weak, but works. I have an appointment to see my doctor on Friday. The physical work was good for me today but I really felt wore out in the afternoon.

I did feel good for about 2 hours in the middle today. But not horrible otherwise. Tomorrow is day 3.

RCnut

By the way there is beer in the fridge. It's the wife's. She or I have not touched it since Sunday.

tekink

xanax are for anxiety. From my experience, when I had an RX for it, they have more of an affect when you are actually feeling anxiety.