Tonight is the night
 

I am not sure why I picked tonight but I did. Im not even sober at this moment. Every night I tell myself that this is the last night, I can't afford it either financially or physically...and yet every night I do it. I have quit before, once for almost 1 year, and sporadically in between. Most recently was 2 weeks long after a week long bender and began going through withdrawals and vomited blood and took myself to the hospital. but like I said that lasted 2 weeks and then "Oh why not". I've half heartedly worked the 12 steps and read the big book, but hey I'm smarter than they are. Lately I find myself at the convenience store every night after work with 18 stones in my hand. I know exactly where this lifestyle is heading, and every morning I tell myself this is the end of it, and every night when I get off I tell myself I lied.

I definitely need to be done. My physical health...and my wallet...cannot take it anymore. I want to be done, but we all know it takes more than just want to. I only talk to 2 people about it, because those 2 people are the only 2 people in my life that know what I am going through and are not judgmental. I live in a small town and I refuse to go to AA for personal reasons, so I hope I am placing hope here, and in my higher power.

Welcome to the family. :) There's lots of support and wisdom here. I hope we can help you get sober for good. :)

Welcome :) Tonight is as good as any! You're among friends here. Tomorrow I will have 6 months sober.....and it all started with a night like the one you're having.....and lots of support through sober recovery!

Welcome ImDoneNM. This is a great place for support, advice and wisdom and is available 24/7.

Hi and welcome ImDoneNM :)

One day I decided I'd had enough, I found SR, and I've not drink or drugged since.

It's been some pretty hard work at times, but so was drinking :)

you can do this :)

D

Welcome to SR!

Welcome, a great resource here.

Welcome, ImDone. This is the perfect time to stop and there is so much love, support and advice here. Thinking of you.

why not tonight? Gotta start somewhere.

You can do it! I could not even picture going a day without drinking...every day was the same..start around 4;30 or 5...just sit in a chair or go to the bar and drink until 9 and then go to bed and have a lousy night's sleep. Weekends WAY worse...
For Decades!!!
Today just got through 9th day without a drop. If I can do it You can do it!
1st step is always the hardest