Dreading Social Situations
Being newly sober, social situations might be best avoided for a while ?
My first couple of months I wasn't going much of anywhere
except to AA meetings 4 or 5 times a week and to see the judge occasionally.
Put sobriety first.
With some time sober, I didn't hang out much with my old drinking buddies.
M-Bob
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 30
I like the idea of not announcing it. It has come up once so far and I used the excuse of being on a diet, which is true, so that should suffice for the time being.
I don't actually go out much at all except for restaurants - most of my social time is spent at home or other people's houses. I'm a penny pincher and never could stomach spending $10 for a glass of wine when the whole bottle costs $8, or $5 a beer when $2 more will buy a six pack.
The only friend I've "announced" it to is the one I see most often. Everybody else is usually seen about once every month or two, but there is always drinking involved. Drinking is a big part of my work culture too. I did turn down a beer after work two days ago which is something I never do, so it's a start!
I don't actually go out much at all except for restaurants - most of my social time is spent at home or other people's houses. I'm a penny pincher and never could stomach spending $10 for a glass of wine when the whole bottle costs $8, or $5 a beer when $2 more will buy a six pack.
The only friend I've "announced" it to is the one I see most often. Everybody else is usually seen about once every month or two, but there is always drinking involved. Drinking is a big part of my work culture too. I did turn down a beer after work two days ago which is something I never do, so it's a start!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: uk
Posts: 60
I have done the identical thing to you 'tea or coffee' I am on the 34th day and have used Sober October as my reason for not drinking. Being a massive beer drinker I have lost a lot of weight over the last month and I have also had the comments 'I bet you can't wait to November so you can have a drink'. I have just said that I am feeling so much better and getting fitter that I am going to have at least another month or two without drinking. However I know, and it's only me that needs to know, that I can never drink again.
I told pretty much everyone I spend any amount of time with that I had quit. But I had a DUI, and live in a small enough town that lots of people knew about that. People who care about me were worried about me, so I felt it was appropriate to tell them I was hanging up my drinking spurs. And the support I received was overwhelming. Almost all of my friends drink. I laid low for a good couple of months, but gradually started going to social events again. But I always have an escape plan, and leave immediately if I get uncomfortable. It's really up to you how much socializing you do, and when. And no explanation why you aren't drinking is really necessary. Just decline politely. Most people don't care. If they ask why, tell them whatever feels comfortable to you to share. This is your life, your recovery. Do what is best for you.
Hi NewLeaf and welcome
Like a lot of the other people here I stayed away from alcohol centered events for a long time.
Didn't mean I shut myself away at home - I found lots of things to do that didn't need alcohol like picnics, walks, coffee dates, movies, museums...the only limit is your imagination.\
I slowly built up my confidence and my 'sober muscles' until I got to a point I knew alcohol and I were through and nothing or noone could sway me on that.
For me that took a few months, but I still consider that time one of the best investments in my on-going recovery
It's great to have you aboard - this place saved me
D
Like a lot of the other people here I stayed away from alcohol centered events for a long time.
Didn't mean I shut myself away at home - I found lots of things to do that didn't need alcohol like picnics, walks, coffee dates, movies, museums...the only limit is your imagination.\
I slowly built up my confidence and my 'sober muscles' until I got to a point I knew alcohol and I were through and nothing or noone could sway me on that.
For me that took a few months, but I still consider that time one of the best investments in my on-going recovery
It's great to have you aboard - this place saved me
D
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I have done the identical thing to you 'tea or coffee' I am on the 34th day and have used Sober October as my reason for not drinking. Being a massive beer drinker I have lost a lot of weight over the last month and I have also had the comments 'I bet you can't wait to November so you can have a drink'. I have just said that I am feeling so much better and getting fitter that I am going to have at least another month or two without drinking. However I know, and it's only me that needs to know, that I can never drink again.
My advice is to not test yourself until you feel you're ready. I just made a year and I've managed to avoid social situations where there's an open bar or the focus is on drinking. I have kids so it's not hard to do. Maybe you could show up for 20-30 minutes at your work party. Have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand so you're not tempted...and stay away from the bar area! You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you could always say you're taking antibiotics, watching your weight, have to drive somewhere after, whatever. People won't care, they're usually too focused on themselves.
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