Back again, Day 4 (round 3)

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10-26-2016, 03:47 AM

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Raeven

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Join Date: Nov 2015

Location: virginia

Posts: 116

Back again, Day 4 (round 3)

It is Day 4. I was here early in the year, then thought "I can handle it" and didn't want to admit. But last weekend, I picked up a couple bottles of wine, intended them to last the week. Drank 2 in one night, as evidenced by the empty bottles, no memory. Do have a rather impressive set of bruises, again, not sure from what, and no broken furniture. I think I finally get that I can't handle it. I did cross the line from casual to alcoholic and the only help for me it not so drink. My other choice is probably a fatal one. The bruises scared me, and continue to as they are still coming up (as deep one can delay a while).

I felt odd, and bad the first couple days, still feel somewhat out of sorts but none of the scary things I've read about, just slightly numbed and depressed, Started journaling so I can remember how I felt and why I realized I was in trouble If I get cocky again, thinking I can handle it, I'm right back where I was.

I guess it is time to admit that I am an alcoholic...like my father, my uncle, my ex-husband...My Ex was sober 8 years when we met, he didn't drink when we were together but something in him was messed up. He turned mean, then manipulative, then vicious. I started drinking during the divorce to escape the pain and abuse he was inflicting on me. Who knew I would end up abusing myself?

Thank you for you support.