Day 16
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
Day 16
On Day 16 and doing okay. Got through a day at my inlaws on Sunday, which is always an emotional trigger for me. I just reminded myself to remember to just be nice and polite but to maintain the emotional detachment from them that I have been practicing and to remember they can't make me do anything I don't want to without me consenting (this does not really involve alcohol but other things, usually involving money.). Some things were said that slightly bothered me, and I know it will usually take about a couple days to recover emotionally, so I am almost there. Really no cravings the last few days other than when my husband drove past a huge free wine tasting party in the park the other day where his inlaws live. He can be inconsiderate with my recovery at times, but I know that he is sick as well with alcohol and so I don't really expect a lot more from him concerning alcohol.
Great job on day 16! In-laws can really rub you the wrong way, I am sure a lot of people here can relate to that and you should be proud of yourself with how you handled it and on top of it you handled it sober! That is something to be really proud of! It can be hard when family are at times inconsiderate (intentionally or not) but I try to remind myself that that is life. People are going to drink, people are going to go to events with drinking, and we will be faced with situations like that for the rest of our lives. I know it is hard, but the more you handle those situations sober the easier they will get.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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Thanks, Anna. Yes, limiting time has been my goal without being overt about it. I don't initiate plans for them to visit anymore, and I don't pursue plans they initiate unless my husband follows up with them.
Great job on 16 days. Unfortunately, any success you have is going to highlight any issues your husband has and he may subconsciously or even consciously try and sabotage things. It is certainly not an unusual scenario anyway. Keep up the good work.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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Yes, and I think you are exactly right. When I was drinking, my husband's issues were trivial because the focus was on my issues. And now that I am sober, the focus has shifted to his issues. He even told me that he misses me drinking because now I am "up in his grill." He basically was saying that the attention is now on him, and he does not like it. I have worked through this issue, however, and now protect my sobriety more than ever before since I was given a direct warning by my profession that there can be no more problems. It took something adverse like that happening for me to realize that I am number one when it comes to me, and that I need to take care of myself. I guess it's all a learning experience.
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