johnwroweiv

I came into the rooms in October 2014 - and sat WAAAYYYY in the back row. I was (barely) willing to listen. And all I could hear were differences.

That person was a meth addict. I am only an alcoholic.
That person was homeless. I was never homeless.
That person was arrested. I was never arrested.
That person got 5 DUI's. I have zero.
That person was old when they got sober ...
That person was young when they got sober ...
That person only drank in the evenings ...
That person always cries in the meetings ...
That person always shares in the meetings ...
That person always tries to make people laugh in the meetings ...

And then there was the flip side of the "they are different than me" coin.

That person has so much more sobriety than I do ...
That person's shares are so much more insightful than mine ...
That person has so many more sponsees than I'll ever have ...
When that person shares, everyone thanks and claps for them ...
That person knows everyone ...
Everyone hugs that person after the meeting ...
That person has so many friends in the room ...
That person knows all the cool AA people ...

ALL the time my brain was doing this compare / contrast thing ... I kept hearing "look for the similarities." I heard it, and I knew it was important - but I had zero ability to look for find the similarities.

I started hearing the similarities when I pushed past my ego and self. Instead of comparing - I simply listened and what I heard was deeply, intimately ME.

Deepening anxiety.
Complete sadness.
Loss of hope.
Crazy thoughts.
Hurt feelings.
FEAR, FEAR and more FEAR.

And you know the other thing? Once I heard and really begin to understand that people are basically people - and that we all share basic human experiences, I started to hear similarities that I had never heard before.

Joy
Happiness
Healing
Family
Strength
Hope
Courage
Generosity
Caring
Love
Success
Peace
Serenity

Two years into sobriety I firmly believe that as human beings we are fundamentally the same. There are no such things as strangers. We all want the same thing - and we can grow and help one another - provided we look for the similarities and not the differences.

I'm going to keep coming back. I hop you do too.

MeSoSober

That was really beautiful, John.

You must be one of those cool AA people. :-)

PurpleKnight

2 Years is fantastic John!! Great post!!