KidsEverywhere

This might sound crazy- but in a lot of ways, I feel like I struggle getting serious because my drinking is too regular, I hide it from my wife, but it is always pretty minimal- 2-3 pops off the bottle and my wife doesn't know that I've had anything. I get up early and go to work without a hangover, but I crave a few drinks after work. I really have to be committed to not drink- so I know it is a problem. I cobble together a week or two, but always find myself buying a few sips that I keep away from my wife.
I feel like if I were just getting hammered every night and wake up feeling bad every day- not drinking would be easier. But because I have a "high bottom"- it is too easy to slip and drink.
Not being condescending towards those who struggle badly, but I just wish I could find the motivation to kick it even though things are not in shambles. And I have been a drinker like this for a long time.
I know it never gets better- but I've been where I am for 15 years- I know it is a monkey on my back- but for a long time- my drinking has been consistent. I know when it is time to hit to bed and stop, etc.
thoughts?

trachemys

If YOU think YOU have a problem then YOU will have to address that. No one can do it for YOU.

Dee74

I think maybe you're mentally downsizing your problem a little from what you wrote when you first came here. KE?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-new-here.html

D

least

A lot of bad things haven't happened to you... yet. Alcohol makes everything worse. You don't have to hit 'rock bottom' in order to get sober, you just have to want a better life.

Try it for six months and see how you feel then. By six months I was feeling so much better and happier. I don't miss it a bit.

Ooona

As Dee suggested, you should go back and read your posts from the beginning. I think your AV is lieing to you, causing you to minimize the extent and seriousness of the problem.

Something tells me you arent as high functioning as your AV would like to convince you that you are. Until you come to that realization, you will continue to struggle and stay on that degrading cycle of relapse that you have been on since you came here over a year ago.

Best wishes to you!!

entropy1964

Hmmmm. Google alcoholic denial. And reread your past posts.

Alcoholism is pretty tricky stuff.

Algorithm

This is an interesting thread from member wpainterw on High Functioning Alcoholics:

wpainterw -

SnazzyDresser

I'd bet you're whistling thru the graveyard a little, but ultimately it's your call.

Elfie312

I am close to a few people who drink on a daily basis but, like you, their life is not a mess because of it. I used to envy them because once I start I can't stop and everything in my life starts to fall apart. I do not envy them anymore though because they will probably never stop drinking, their lives are centered around it. You may not see the consequences of your drinking but I bet if you really examine your life, you will find some and if you are here, you can probably already see them.

BlissWithin

From your previous thread you seem to drink more than a few sips...Maybe consider going sober?

Mountainmanbob

The #1 killer -- self deception.
I've been led astray so many times.
MM

doggonecarl

The problem isn't that your life is in shambles. The problem is, you can't quit drinking.

Shambles come later.

Nonsensical

Your AV is a little boy who likes to be bad.

Your wife thinks she married a man. How long before she discovers the sneaky little boy and can't tell the difference between the two of you?

For decades I thought I was fighting the bottle. Fighting that bottle and losing.

I started winning when I realized it was just me.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

August252015

What is your plan today? I mean that as in, what is on your agenda as a "typical Monday"?

Does it involve drinking later, after work, even if that's on a kind of semi-conscious, sure maybe I will and i'll decide later plane?

Like others have said- seems to me it's a good time to stop. Many of us think about the "What if" sometimes, and what we had to lose before we stopped. No one can get another person to stop til that person is ready, no matter WHAT you lose.

Even if ultimately, you lose your life.

I hope you decide - yes, CHOOSE, not "find the motivation"- to stop drinking. Whether you work a program or not (sounds to me like you should) .... as others have said, perhaps a life overhaul is indeed in order.

Good luck.

MLD51

I thought I was a high-functioning alcoholic for a long time. That was just plain old denial. I see it plainly now that I'm sober. My life was a mess. I just couldn't/didn't want to see it. If you examine your life closely, through sober eyes, you might discover things are not as copacetic as you think they are. In any case, if you are hiding your drinking, that's a huge issue right there. If you really thought your drinking was OK, you would not do that. Time to get really honest with yourself. I wish I had done that before my life truly began to fall apart.

LostManhattan

Saying this kindly, but sneaking the drinking from a significant other is bad omen.

Anna

It seems you believe you are fortunate because your alcoholism hasn't taken a toll on your life. However, there are two things that jump out at me:

1) You are lying (by omission) to your wife every day

2) You have tried to stop drinking and can't.

Denial is a huge part of alcoholism. I hope you decide to stop drinking.

FLCamper

My two cents: you get up feeling fine everyday. You might be surprised how much better you feel with after a period of sobriety.

Blacking out and passing out under the bar are not the requirements for being an alcoholic If it causes you problems, then stop.

Keep posting! You can certainly do this. Just go 30 days and see how you feel.