What to do when your past keeps getting brought up?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Oh for sure. Amends will be an on going thing everyday that I live. I'm aware its a living amends.
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi getitright 
I think the amends thing is more about us to be honest...it's not about receiving forgiveness or absolution, it's about making things right from our side...it's about letting go and moving on...
if you still have some residual resentments that's a very human thing...but it might mean you'll have to revisit the amends process again down the line?
D
I think the amends thing is more about us to be honest...it's not about receiving forgiveness or absolution, it's about making things right from our side...it's about letting go and moving on...
if you still have some residual resentments that's a very human thing...but it might mean you'll have to revisit the amends process again down the line?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
Congratulations on 6 months! Don't lose sight of what you have achieved.
As you know, time heals a lot of wounds. Unfortunately, we alcoholics are an impatient bunch.
When I was sober for 6 months, I thought it was an eternity, because prior to that I drank pretty much every day. When you first get sober, you measure sobriety in hours, and then days. After awhile the units of time become weeks and then months.
I'm fortunate that I can now measure my sobriety in the next unit of time, which is years. Our lives are very busy, and as the years pass, my wife seems to remember less and less of my drinking days. Memories fade and there is too much other stuff going on.
As you know, time heals a lot of wounds. Unfortunately, we alcoholics are an impatient bunch.
When I was sober for 6 months, I thought it was an eternity, because prior to that I drank pretty much every day. When you first get sober, you measure sobriety in hours, and then days. After awhile the units of time become weeks and then months.
I'm fortunate that I can now measure my sobriety in the next unit of time, which is years. Our lives are very busy, and as the years pass, my wife seems to remember less and less of my drinking days. Memories fade and there is too much other stuff going on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
." For the people who have said 6 months is not that long. Really for a drunk like me its an eternity."
now, lets look at what was truly meant by that comment-
it had absolutely nothing to do with sober time.
it had everything to do with repairing strained relations.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
now, lets look at what was truly meant by that comment-
it had absolutely nothing to do with sober time.
it had everything to do with repairing strained relations.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I get that. That is why I said right after that that I don't expect anything to be accomplished over night, and it will take some time for all wounds to heal basically. I don't have a time stamp set on how long things will take to mend with my family, but of course I wish I could hit the erase button on what I did to them. That being said and knowing that I can't go back and do that I've accepted how things are. I don't like it, but as I've said I don't have to. One day at a time one step at a time.
Originally Posted by tomsteve
." For the people who have said 6 months is not that long. Really for a drunk like me its an eternity."
now, lets look at what was truly meant by that comment-
it had absolutely nothing to do with sober time.
it had everything to do with repairing strained relations.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
now, lets look at what was truly meant by that comment-
it had absolutely nothing to do with sober time.
it had everything to do with repairing strained relations.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Getitright, 6 months is long, yes it is! Good to hear your story, it helps to hear how others process relationship changes as we grow away from the people we were as addicts. I used to be a sloppy emotional drunk and people have said I'm distant.......yup, more measured as a sober person, still filled with emotions but not spilling over or calling people to yammer, don't remember what I talked about the next day!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
