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I am so sad

Old 10-18-2016, 06:12 AM
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I am so sad

Since my kids grew up and moved away, I have become really attached to my dogs. I take them everywhere. I have trained them. They are with me all the time. Both dogs are rescues. Sadie is 3 years old and I have had her since she was a pup. Shasta is about a year old and I have had her since March.

A week ago they started fighting! I took both of them to the vet to make sure they were ok. The vet said they are fine but Shasta is growing up and she is pushing Sadies buttons to see what she can get away with. He thinks its a territorial issue. He said the fighting will probably get worse and keep them separated or rehome one of them.

I kept them separated for a few days. It was heartbreaking. They whined and cried. They couldn't understand why they couldn't play together. I decided I couldn't handle it. It wasn't fare for them or me. I did not drink! Normally I would have drank a lot!

Saturday was Day 21. I took Shasta to her new owners house. I was very upset and crying. I stopped by the gas station and bought a 6 pack of beer and I drank them!

The drinking did help. I quit crying. I ate dinner and went to bed. I slept all night. It was the best sleep I had since this all started.

So now I am on Day 3 again. I am depressed and tired. I can't sleep. My mind won't stop. I am trying to deal with this as best I can. One day at a time!

Tina
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Old 10-18-2016, 06:21 AM
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Oh, man. That is hard. The thing with rescues is they have a story, you just don't know all of it. Hope you start to feel more peaceful about your decision soon.
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Old 10-18-2016, 06:35 AM
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I'm so sorry you had to give up a pet. I almost did a few weeks ago and it threw me into a binge for days. You've done several weeks before, so you can do it again! Try to move forward and just put one foot in front of the other. Give lots of love to the dog who stayed and focus on yourself and your health.
(((Hugs)))
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Old 10-18-2016, 06:46 AM
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Old 10-18-2016, 06:47 AM
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Thats the thing with loving someone or something ( a pet), sometimes the definition of that love is letting go. You are such a wonderful pet mama you wanted what was best for both of your animals and also in the long run yourself. Had your baby stayed it would have made life so very hard for everyone!

Best wishes and blessings to you on your recovery journey.
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Old 10-18-2016, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Mystary View Post

Saturday was Day 21. I took Shasta to her new owners house. I was very upset and crying. I stopped by the gas station and bought a 6 pack of beer and I drank them!

The drinking did help. I quit crying. I ate dinner and went to bed. I slept all night. It was the best sleep I had since this all started.

So now I am on Day 3 again. I am depressed and tired. I can't sleep. My mind won't stop. I am trying to deal with this as best I can. One day at a time!

Tina
Hello:

I hear AV in your post. The drinking did help? This is AV for sure. You now feel depressed and tired? Alcohol is a depressant...

Did drinking change anything of the situation? Not really, and now you start again.

We need to learn how to cope with life without booze. I would suggest coming here and posting before you drink.

It's not helping and it's not worth it.

You can do this!!!
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Old 10-18-2016, 07:13 AM
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So sorry to hear this. I've experienced similar behaviors in two different pairs of dogs. The young pup sorta slowly killed off the older one. It was heartbreaking to watch. The fighting would get worse and worse. Glad you were able to find Shasta a safe home. It would be more stressful on everyone to have them engaged in mortal combat.

Best wishes for your recovery. 21 days was a legitimately good run, you shouldn't discount all the good work you've done.
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Old 10-18-2016, 09:37 AM
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Hi Mystary. Thank you for sharing this. I'm really glad you are back posting and on day 3 again. It can be so challenging to learn different coping mechanisms. We are so used to instantly feeling better (numbed). Hang in there and see if you can find other ways to cope with this!
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Old 10-18-2016, 10:26 AM
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Thanks for all the support. Yes I do need to figure out how to cope without drinking. When something bad happens I always want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it to anyone until I get myself emotionally together. That can take days, weeks or months depending what happened. So I regress into my own little world and I drink.

Does the drinking help? While I am drunk it does, then the next morning I am dealing with a hangover, anxiety and emotions. Not good. So the cycle starts again.

But instead of drinking, so far today, I took Sadie for a long walk and I am cleaning my house. It's still early so I am just going to keep busy.
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Old 10-18-2016, 10:31 AM
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I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling

Next time, do you have a sober friend you could possibly reach out to to hold your hand and give you some support during such a difficult time?
You don't have to do this alone and don't forget sr is here for you.
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Old 10-18-2016, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Mystary View Post
Thanks for all the support. Yes I do need to figure out how to cope without drinking. When something bad happens I always want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it to anyone until I get myself emotionally together. That can take days, weeks or months depending what happened. So I regress into my own little world and I drink.
Yes. It's all very well stopping drinking. Dealing with the Alcohol Drinking. But the real work starts in 'Recovery ' because that's when we start to turn around out Alcoholic THINKING. The way we deal with life. When we're celebrating, bored, tired, depressed or heartbroken. Learning to deal with life on life's terms sober and sane is the crux of it. This, for me, is what AA is all about. Presumably people who use other recovery groups and resources will say the same. I'd recommend a couple of little books that I found to be full of wisdom in this regard. One is the AA book called Living Sober (you can buy it via Amazon) and the other is Monkey On My Shoulder, which I believe I also got via Amazon. Can't remember who that was by, but I don't suppose there are many books with that title lol.

It might be worth reading through Dee's links about making a plan (even if you've read them before) and think about what could be added to help you add more tools to your sober toolkit. Also maybe look through your original plan and see if any of your strategies have gone by the wayside as sometimes they're apt to do when things are jogging along okay for a bit.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Anyway. So so sorry about your other dog. It must have been terrible - more terrible than a couple of hours hiding under some alcohol can fix. Honestly, it really doesn't make anything better . It just gives us a blanket to hide under for a little while, then we have to come out and face it anyway.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB.
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Old 10-18-2016, 11:10 AM
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I'm really sorry that you had to go through this. I went through the same thing with two Siamese siblings. It wasn't until their second year that one became intensely territorial and began physically attacking the other cat. One cat got a huge bite on his head which became infected and the other lost a tooth. At that point, having tried everything, we rehired one of the boys. It was terribly hard and I felt like a failure, but I quickly realized it was the best thing that could have happened.

As long as you continue to turn to alcohol in stressful moments, you will never be able to know the freedom and strength of managing those times 'on your own', with no alcohol. Your self-esteem will improve and your whole life will improve.
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Old 10-18-2016, 11:27 AM
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Sometimes rehoming is really the best answer. It never feels good though.
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Old 10-18-2016, 02:19 PM
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Oh that's really sad, so sorry, but it's probably the best thing to do...although I'm sure it doesn't feel like it.

Ignore ur AV......booze WILL NOT HELP!! Deep down u know this!
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Old 10-18-2016, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Mystary View Post
Thanks for all the support. Yes I do need to figure out how to cope without drinking. When something bad happens I always want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it to anyone until I get myself emotionally together. That can take days, weeks or months depending what happened. So I regress into my own little world and I drink.

Does the drinking help? While I am drunk it does, then the next morning I am dealing with a hangover, anxiety and emotions. Not good. So the cycle starts again.

But instead of drinking, so far today, I took Sadie for a long walk and I am cleaning my house. It's still early so I am just going to keep busy.
I'm sorry for your pain but theres some really good advice here.

For many years my only solution to every problem was alcohol. When I started to investigate and use other healthier solutions for my pain, anger sadness or whatever it was, my life began to change for the better.

It really is possible to change our reactions to things and to make different decisions mystary

There will always be support here too. If your natural inclination is to be alone, maybe that's one of the first things you can work on - reaching out for help?

D
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Old 10-18-2016, 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Mystary View Post
Thanks for all the support. Yes I do need to figure out how to cope without drinking. When something bad happens I always want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it to anyone until I get myself emotionally together. That can take days, weeks or months depending what happened. So I regress into my own little world and I drink.
This is exactly how I am, Mystary. As you mention, we have to find other ways to deal with adversity besides drinking now. I really feel for you in this situation, stay strong.
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Old 10-18-2016, 08:41 PM
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Awww, I'm so sorry for your pain. Our fur babies become family and the attachment is real. You did the right thing, difficult as it was. A long walk with your pup is more healing than drinking. Try some online guided meditations to help with the anxiety. Some of them are really great.
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