Loved One Relapsed

Reply Subscribe

Thread Tools

10-16-2016, 05:26 AM

# 1 (permalink)

renee81

Guest

Thread Starter

Join Date: Oct 2016

Location: Media, PA

Posts: 6

Loved One Relapsed

So I'm not sure where to turn at this point. My boyfriend and I have only been together for a short amount of time, but I love him to death. He's a recovering addict, I am not. This morning I found out for sure, after weeks of speculation, that he's using again. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance, someone to talk to.

10-16-2016, 05:31 AM

# 2 (permalink)

sugarbear1

~sb

Join Date: Jul 2011

Location: MD

Posts: 15,960

I suggest cutting ties now, before things get too deep. Then get some therapy and heal so you don't repeat this situation.

Loving an addict is like, well, it's hell. It is a progressive and fatal thing, so if you are ready for this roller coaster, put on your seatbelt.....

Seriously, this situation isn't good. Maybe find out what attracted you to him (deep thought and therapy).

I wish you well!

10-16-2016, 05:38 AM

# 3 (permalink)

renee81

Guest

Thread Starter

Join Date: Oct 2016

Location: Media, PA

Posts: 6

Loved One Relapsed

I wanted to follow up with a bit of my background.
My mom was an addict for as long as I can remember, and my sister is also, and because I never understood or could relate to what they were going through, I walked away from them. My mom died 3 years ago from drugs, and my sister told me that through all of the chaos surrounding her, the thing she wanted the most was her sister by her side. And I was so ignorant and stubborn that I couldn't give that to her.

10-16-2016, 06:27 AM

# 4 (permalink)

tomsteve

Member

Join Date: Apr 2012

Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.

Posts: 15,281

you can stand by your boyfriends side if you want. but your probably going to get dragged down with him.
I highly encourage you to head over to the F&f of substance abusers forums and do some reading of others who have been in your shoes.

the only thing that happened to me standing by a practicing alcoholic/addict was gloom,dispair, and agony.....on me.

10-16-2016, 07:33 AM

# 5 (permalink)

Anna

Administrator

Join Date: Aug 2003

Location: Dancing in the Light

Posts: 61,473

I am sorry for your situation. Is your boyfriend seeking support for himself? I hope that you seek support for yourself. We have two Friends & Families forums on this board, and AlAnon may also be helpful.

10-16-2016, 09:43 AM

# 6 (permalink)

renee81

Guest

Thread Starter

Join Date: Oct 2016

Location: Media, PA

Posts: 6

Hi Anna,

Thanks for responding. I had my suspicions for a couple weeks, and confronted him, but of course he kept denying it until this morning, there was no lying his way out of it. Now he says he wants help and hates living life on drugs, and he will wean himself off starting tonight and then attend an outpatient program. I've never sought any treatment for my past with my mom and sister because I never thought it was an issue, but now I'm certainly reconsidering.

Last edited by renee81; 10-16-2016 at 09:44 AM. Reason: Spelling error

10-16-2016, 10:02 AM

# 7 (permalink)

tomsteve

Member

Join Date: Apr 2012

Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.

Posts: 15,281

Quote:

Originally Posted by renee81

I've never sought any treatment for my past with my mom and sister because I never thought it was an issue, but now I'm certainly reconsidering.

please check out the F&F forums of both addicts and alcoholics. theres some great stickies at the tops of the forums and also a LOT of great support there that can help you with different forms of help for you.

I truly hope yer BF gets help,too- for him.