Going to my first wedding
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You can do this Matt!!
Remember you're there to celebrate and spend time with the 2 people getting married, you're not simply going to a bar to drink, yes there may be people drinking, but keep focused on why you're there.
If it gets too much excuse yourself and have an early night, no one will remember in a years time anyways that you left early!!
Remember you're there to celebrate and spend time with the 2 people getting married, you're not simply going to a bar to drink, yes there may be people drinking, but keep focused on why you're there.
If it gets too much excuse yourself and have an early night, no one will remember in a years time anyways that you left early!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
There will be others not drinking. Maybe not many, but some. Keep your eyes peeled for them, and don't be afraid to duck out for a bit when you need to.
The wedding I went to a couple of weeks ago was fine. The venue were more than happy to make coffee or tea as well as having a good range of alcohol free options. I went for a good long walk at half time to blow away some cobwebs. Had a nice time despite my concerns. Hope you have fun as well.
The wedding I went to a couple of weeks ago was fine. The venue were more than happy to make coffee or tea as well as having a good range of alcohol free options. I went for a good long walk at half time to blow away some cobwebs. Had a nice time despite my concerns. Hope you have fun as well.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I wrote this post a month ago.
I would not do it
7 years sobriety, 4 years on SR, 6000+ posts hopefully gives me a little bit of credibility.
If you are new to sobriety please please please stay away drinking situations. Receptions, concerts, parties what ever. Not everyone that goes to these events drink but a dangerously high percentage do. I can not count the number of people who post about going to a drinking event, people with some sobriety tell them it is not recommended, they argue that they can handle it, they go and are never heard from again.
All I can say is I have seen a lot more failure than success. If you want to play the odds not going is a much safer bet.
By all means go to the wedding but going to the reception is a choice. I guarantee the world will not end if you do not attend. Sobriety is about choices and I seldom make a choice that moves me closer to drinking
I would not do it
7 years sobriety, 4 years on SR, 6000+ posts hopefully gives me a little bit of credibility.
If you are new to sobriety please please please stay away drinking situations. Receptions, concerts, parties what ever. Not everyone that goes to these events drink but a dangerously high percentage do. I can not count the number of people who post about going to a drinking event, people with some sobriety tell them it is not recommended, they argue that they can handle it, they go and are never heard from again.
All I can say is I have seen a lot more failure than success. If you want to play the odds not going is a much safer bet.
By all means go to the wedding but going to the reception is a choice. I guarantee the world will not end if you do not attend. Sobriety is about choices and I seldom make a choice that moves me closer to drinking
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
I would skip it if you possibly can.
There was a wedding that I HAD to attend during my first few weeks of sobriety (sis-in-law's and I had a role at the wedding - so avoiding it was not an option!). It was very difficult, but I managed to avoid alcohol. I thought through the event in advance: decided what soft drinks I would have with the meal, what I would drink for the toast, what I would say to people if they offered to get me a drink from the bar, how I would handle it when the shots came out, what I would say if quizzed about not drinking etc... I also had a plan in place to leave early. Even at a key family wedding, nobody notices if you slip away a few hours before the end (mainly because most of them are drunk!)
Are you going with someone who can support you through it? My husband was with me, and kept telling me how well I was doing and how proud he was of me for avoiding alcohol at such a difficult event - that really helped.
If you manage to go and get through it, you can feel really proud of yourself. But it is high risk.
There was a wedding that I HAD to attend during my first few weeks of sobriety (sis-in-law's and I had a role at the wedding - so avoiding it was not an option!). It was very difficult, but I managed to avoid alcohol. I thought through the event in advance: decided what soft drinks I would have with the meal, what I would drink for the toast, what I would say to people if they offered to get me a drink from the bar, how I would handle it when the shots came out, what I would say if quizzed about not drinking etc... I also had a plan in place to leave early. Even at a key family wedding, nobody notices if you slip away a few hours before the end (mainly because most of them are drunk!)
Are you going with someone who can support you through it? My husband was with me, and kept telling me how well I was doing and how proud he was of me for avoiding alcohol at such a difficult event - that really helped.
If you manage to go and get through it, you can feel really proud of yourself. But it is high risk.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Thank you all. I'm home now safe and sound sobriety intact😀Yeah left a bit early but it wasn't all that bad. I would describe it as slight anxiety. I do appreciate you guys input though . Your awesome
My wife was pretty awesome too. She stood by my side the whole time delivered the club soda right on time
My wife was pretty awesome too. She stood by my side the whole time delivered the club soda right on time
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Well done Mattq2, I remember my first sober wedding, it was a beautiful wedding and I drank my weight in sparkly water and I left as soon as they started the first dance. I felt so wide-eyed and uncomfortable, it gets easier as time goes on.
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