Jim1958

I see many threads on relapse, and I wanted to share something I have been doing for a long time. For background, I knew I had an alcohol problem for years. At first, I would check days on a calendar when I was sober. It might be 3 days, or 6. Then days of drinking. Then 2 or 3 days sober. So it went. At the end of the year, I would total things up. If I was sober half the days of the year that was huge. At times, I could not imagine stringing together 30 days. But having a visual indicator was helpful. It kept me thinking, maybe I can do 30 days. So I tried. And made it, and relapsed. And tried again, and made it over 30 days. And relapsed. Over and over, but as I kept trying I made it longer. Months at at time before a relapse. Finally I took some steps with a counselor, and some other changes in my life. I had to look hard at the reasons for my drinking. It was difficult, and I am still working on things every day. I looked at the calendar just now, and it is day 267. I struggle like everyone on this board. But things are better. I saw on another thread someone talking about cracking a beer in the morning. That was me. But now I feel I am moving in the right direction. The journal/log sits on my kitchen table, and every day I write a new number I know things are improving. I hope this might inspire others to keep a log or journal. It has been helpful to me. I wish everyone the best. SR is a great community, and I am thankful for it.

advbike

Good job Jim. I did the same thing.. logged all my drinks.. and totaled up at year end. My therapist said I was obsessed with it, lol. Lots of short periods of sobriety, gradually getting longer until I made it. I knew I was on the right track the last couple of years when my total drinks for the year was fewer than 360 or one per day on average.

August252015

So....the decision isn't permanent sobriety but a kind of "majority rules"? I keeep a log too (I have s phone tracker and a huge daily agenda I call the Holy Day Planner where I sometimes note days now) and it has one absolute path: continued, unbroken sobriety. That's my kind of record keeping. Any "hint" that relapse or a "greater than/less than" mindset....unacceptable.

MeSoSober

The way I read the OP's post was that it started out that way, but that as he progressed he definitely had the goal of longer and longer periods of sobriety. And then meeting with a counselor and making life changes doesn't suggest to me a "majority rules" mindset.

I think 267 days is a huge achievement and I really like the idea of having a big wall calendar with the days Xd out as a DAILY visual reminder. I'm gonna put that tool in my toolbox.

Thanks Jim1958!

Maudcat

I listen to recovery podcasts where addiction specialists are interviewed. I have heard more than one state that there is a pattern to alcohol dependency: people decide to become sober, stop drinking for a period of time, then relapse. They do it again and again. But.....the periods of sobriety become longer and longer as the alcohol-driven brain heals and people enjoy a healthier life . Eventually, sobriety rules (if all goes well). Everyone is different, of course, and will follow different paths to recovery. But it would seem, Jim1958, that you are a textbook case! Good luck and keep going. Peace.

Dee74

Congrats on day 267 Jim that's great stuff

D

August252015

Maud....any specific source for this info? Quite counter to what most of us understand about the progression of alcoholism and the relapse cycle.

Maudcat

My sources were a physician who specialized in addiction and recovery interviewed on a recovery podcast, "Unpickled" that I listen to. This was in late april or early may, I think. And another physician interviewed on an hour devoted to addiction and dependency on Sirius Dr. Radio, channel 110. This was sometime in spring, I think. Sorry I can't be more specific. Any sources of any kind about alcohol dependency are always much appreciated by me. Thanks.

keeppushing

August, I think the difference is more between description of how it happened for some (what Jim and Maud are talking about) versus prescription, i.e. planning to taper off, which seems to be rejected.

KP

Delizadee

Good job, Jim I like it. Progress not perfection. And I agree with KP, that is my understanding and it makes a lot of sense to me in the broad spectrum of our stories too.

We all need to do whatever it takes to get us to the end goal of sobriety.

SnazzyDresser

Good work, Jim! A streak of 267 days ain't chopped liver, as they say.

advbike

That's how it worked for me. At the beginning, it was difficult to get a week, at the end I was getting a few sober *months* each year. Some of us just aren't as decisive I guess. Logging helped me to see my progress.

Ooona

I think I may have heard the same or similar podcast.

Also I believe that there is somewhat of a swing in the thinking process by addiction therapists, doctors, treatment programs etc of the definition of success when it comes to treatment programs or recovery as a whole. Whereas the previous best practices looked at success as lifelong abstinence, there seems to be a shift towards viewing each and every day sober as a success, each period of time being abstinent from alcohol or other drugs as success, that periods of sobriety (even if relapse occurs) lend themselves to shorter relapses and lowered amounts of AoD used during relapses. I cant cite any actual clinical double blind studies for that information but it is becoming common within the field. It seems that the addiction field as a whole is changing some of their views on the term 'success' .

But regardless of any of that, Congratulations Jim!! Whatever works for you is absolutely PERFECT! One day at a time buddy just keep adding up those days!

Maudcat

That is my takeaway as well, Ooona. Though the more I read and listen, the more I believe that everyone is individual, both in their dependencies and how they do or don't recover. Cunning, baffling , powerful, but as many on SR can attest, the beast can be put in a box and kept there if we want to do that hard enough. Peace.