New to Sober recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Washington
Posts: 1
New to Sober recovery
Hello everyone, I'm not a newcomer to recovery I have 104 days clean and sober, but this is my first time joining some sort of sobriety forum. I've been struggling like crazy, it's been a real horrible and lonely time for me lately and figured I could use some help and in turn try to help others.
I hate going to meetings because nobody seems to respect the term "anonymity" anymore, so I don't necessarily feel comfortable sharing and just seems to me a waste of time. I live in a very small town and don't want my business being thrown around. I'm pretty much done with the drama and I find that in meetings so I have tended to stay away.
I'm extremely angry lately because I have lost all of my friends to recovery, those who I thought would still be there for me when I came back from treatment a few months ago. Much to my naive surprise, they weren't. I also had to drop a few people who I cared for deeply and it's starting to hurt that I had to put them aside.
I left a job that was my entire world. I worked there for three years and decided it wasn't in my best interest to stay there in fear of going back to my old ways.
In short, I'm feeling very nostalgic. I'm angry at myself for being an addict. I don't feel good enough because I don't drink like normal people. I miss my 'friends'. I miss my job. I almost feel like if I drank again that everything would go back to normal, but nothing will ever be the same again and that's equally as frustrating.
I know all of this sounds dumb and slightly contradicting, like why would I ever want to go back to or miss something that was essentially destroying my life? The insanity I suppose.
Anyways thanks for reading my sob story, I hope to make some friends here and grow stronger in my recovery.
I hate going to meetings because nobody seems to respect the term "anonymity" anymore, so I don't necessarily feel comfortable sharing and just seems to me a waste of time. I live in a very small town and don't want my business being thrown around. I'm pretty much done with the drama and I find that in meetings so I have tended to stay away.
I'm extremely angry lately because I have lost all of my friends to recovery, those who I thought would still be there for me when I came back from treatment a few months ago. Much to my naive surprise, they weren't. I also had to drop a few people who I cared for deeply and it's starting to hurt that I had to put them aside.
I left a job that was my entire world. I worked there for three years and decided it wasn't in my best interest to stay there in fear of going back to my old ways.
In short, I'm feeling very nostalgic. I'm angry at myself for being an addict. I don't feel good enough because I don't drink like normal people. I miss my 'friends'. I miss my job. I almost feel like if I drank again that everything would go back to normal, but nothing will ever be the same again and that's equally as frustrating.
I know all of this sounds dumb and slightly contradicting, like why would I ever want to go back to or miss something that was essentially destroying my life? The insanity I suppose.
Anyways thanks for reading my sob story, I hope to make some friends here and grow stronger in my recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Islandlife 
I think a lot of us felt that anger. I didn't want to be different and I didn't want to change my life...but I've very thankful I did.
My drinking was killing me. I had no choice but to change my life...and then a strange thing happened...the more I built a sober life I loved the more I got into it and the less I missed my old life.
I have a life now I could literally never have dreamed of when I was drinking, so really being forced to make that change did me a massive favour, and I'm still thankful for that nearly 10 years on.
You're not alone here, there's tons of support.
Transition is hard, and so is rebuilding a life - but stay with it - you'll be glad you did
welcome
D
I think a lot of us felt that anger. I didn't want to be different and I didn't want to change my life...but I've very thankful I did.
My drinking was killing me. I had no choice but to change my life...and then a strange thing happened...the more I built a sober life I loved the more I got into it and the less I missed my old life.
I have a life now I could literally never have dreamed of when I was drinking, so really being forced to make that change did me a massive favour, and I'm still thankful for that nearly 10 years on.
You're not alone here, there's tons of support.
Transition is hard, and so is rebuilding a life - but stay with it - you'll be glad you did
welcome
D
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Hello and Welcome islandlife. SR is an amazing place for support. I'm sore you're going through a tough time right now. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You're recovery is very important and you're doing a great job. We can't change what's in our past but we can certainly move on from here. It's terrible that sometimes we have to learn who our friends are and aren't and even which ones just aren't best for us but unfortunately it's part of this process.
I'm wishing you all the best tonight as you continue on your journey.
Hope you find much of what you need here at SR and post whenever you can or feel the need to.
RE
I'm wishing you all the best tonight as you continue on your journey.
Hope you find much of what you need here at SR and post whenever you can or feel the need to.
RE
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
Hi and welcome, islandlife. Congratulations on your sober time too!
This a great forum, I found it 3 months into sobriety and was confused. I didn't know how to deal with life without a drink. Any problems or celebrations, aw heck, any excuse I was on the booze to the extent it was taking my whole life from me.
I've slowly learnt there is life after booze, amazing hey, not everyone in the world needs drink to have a life and it gets better and better.
So pleased you found the forum, so many likeminded people who understand and relate to how you feel.
This a great forum, I found it 3 months into sobriety and was confused. I didn't know how to deal with life without a drink. Any problems or celebrations, aw heck, any excuse I was on the booze to the extent it was taking my whole life from me.
I've slowly learnt there is life after booze, amazing hey, not everyone in the world needs drink to have a life and it gets better and better.
So pleased you found the forum, so many likeminded people who understand and relate to how you feel.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
Originally Posted by islandlife94 
I'm extremely angry lately because I have lost all of my friends to recovery, those who I thought would still be there for me when I came back from treatment a few months ago. Much to my naive surprise, they weren't.
the gigantic majority of people i got sober with are mia, drunk or dead
i was taught by the old timers that its my job to be there for the newcomers
service is the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date
God bless
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome Islandlife,
I think it's normal to go through a grieving period in early recovery. I know I did and I had a lot of anger at that point. I resented what I had to give up, even though I knew it was the best thing. Change is difficult and it's hard to embrace. What kind of job are you in now? Is it something that you think you will begin to feel good about at some point. If not, maybe consider a change. Congratulations on your recovery!
I think it's normal to go through a grieving period in early recovery. I know I did and I had a lot of anger at that point. I resented what I had to give up, even though I knew it was the best thing. Change is difficult and it's hard to embrace. What kind of job are you in now? Is it something that you think you will begin to feel good about at some point. If not, maybe consider a change. Congratulations on your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Welcome island life,
Believe it or not you and I have been sober exactly the same number of days. I too went through many of the same feelings as you. I will say that I have drifted away from some friends and become closer to others. The common thread is that I am slowly pulling away from my drinking friends and spending more time with the ones that don't.
Emotionally the last few weeks have really started to even out. I am enjoying so many new things and re-discovering others. I really do enjoy such simple things like taking the dog for a walk.
I think in a short time you will start to find this joy. It has really helped me to focus on the positive improvements and ignore the negitive emotions . Hang in there and give it some time and I know you will find life so much better. Congrats on your accomplishment
Believe it or not you and I have been sober exactly the same number of days. I too went through many of the same feelings as you. I will say that I have drifted away from some friends and become closer to others. The common thread is that I am slowly pulling away from my drinking friends and spending more time with the ones that don't.
Emotionally the last few weeks have really started to even out. I am enjoying so many new things and re-discovering others. I really do enjoy such simple things like taking the dog for a walk.
I think in a short time you will start to find this joy. It has really helped me to focus on the positive improvements and ignore the negitive emotions . Hang in there and give it some time and I know you will find life so much better. Congrats on your accomplishment
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Great to meet you, islandlife! This is a wonderful place for encouragement - you never have to feel alone. Always someone to talk things over with.
I, too, had similar feelings in early recovery. Everything improved as I continued to heal. I'm very glad you're free of it.
I, too, had similar feelings in early recovery. Everything improved as I continued to heal. I'm very glad you're free of it.
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