SusieJ

After what my husband has done with the 2 year affair and me paying for his rehab. Why is he cutting me out of his life he doesn't contact me anymore......why cannot he face me or say sorry. He is supposed to be home next week but the only person he will speak to is his sister. Please help me u destined he is three weeks into sobriety

Anna

Hi Susie,

I have no idea why your husband doesn't want to speak with you. It could simply be that he is focusing on his recovery. Are you going to AlAnon or taking steps to care for yourself?

StormiNormi

Your husband is suffering from a disease of the mind.
He is a very sick person at this time. Is it possible you meet with his counselors to suggest another sober living arrangement upon his release?
He needs a complete spiritual awakening to change his mindset. If you are like most couples, you have an established 'dance'
Remember the family is usually as sick as the addict.
You also deserve a new start. If you each take responsibility for your own healing, you will have hope.
Try using this time to heal yourself by reaching out for support in the community. AlAnon is a good place to start, but even your Dr. May be a good resource to start.
Sending prayers your way.

saoutchik

I am sorry to read that SuzieJ, if he is being unreasonable you have every right to put yourself first and reconsider paying for his treatment.

Alcoholics can be extremely selfish (I certainly was) - don't allow yourself to be walked over

Lightning Bug

Maybe he simply can't. I was in rehab in July. We had one 5 min phone call a week. And if we did anything wrong we could lose it.

Zanna

I think you really need to speak to him, if his sister can't give you an idea of why he's being like this. It could be that he, like me, when free of the numbness of alcohol at first - started reliving all the hurt I'd caused and just couldn't face people. Perhaps he can't face you?
Without knowing you both it's hard for any of us on an anonymous forum, to really say - we would just be guessing.
I tend to read replies and sometimes one will 'ring bells' with me and I trust my instincts, but that's me.
I hope it resolves in the best way possible for you both

1984Toy

Maybe LightingBug is right. When I was in rehab, I had no contact with the outside world, no phones, computers, and no televisions, just a DVD player for movies at night. A 10 minute phone call, once a week. Just a thought.

entropy1964

The rehabs that I have personal experience with have 'family days' and visitation days. They also have counselors that meet with the clients and generally encourage sessions with the significant others. I suppose you could call and ask about something like this. But if he's going no contact, and only contacting his sister, there must be some reason. Have you asked his sister what's up?