ulfr

Went to my group but while i was there i had 5 coffees am now very jittery its making my OCD bad was meant to a go to an AA meeting tonight my husband thinks am irritable to go
I cant calm down and when i do calm down am going to be depressed and upset at myself
So stupid next time ill take some decaff with me
Also the people are spying on me people in the garden and across the road i want to tell them to go away but my husband will not let me out the house while am like this

Am having dinner soon unsure if ill be able to sleep tonight
I think the people are going to come while am sleeping and dissect my brain and make me like the borg

Listening to Jazz to calm me down i feel sick I dont want to puke ewww

TOO MUCH OF ANY THING IS BAD

EndGameNYC

What you refer to as "OCD" sounds pretty serious. If you've never gone to speak to someone about it -- a doctor, a counselor or a therapist -- this might be a good time to go ahead and make an appointment.

There's no reason why you have to suffer to the extent that you describe.

Bulgakova

Sounds like paranoia and hallucinations... ever heard of caffeine induced psychosis? Not saying it's happening, but imagining people in the garden watching you is usually not a good thing.

Food, water and a run might be in order. Unless you might do something crazy in public--then it might be doctor time.

Get well soon!

ulfr

i have a psych and see my dr did have therapy for it
it kinda bad i also hear and see things I have Borderline Personality Disorder
av had this for 10 years and i seem to be getting more and more unwell
Its gotten to the point where am a danger to myself and others
my husband has to come with me and take me places as i cant have money and there was one incident where i went missing ended up at the train station to jump under a train but i managed to get help and was taken home by the police
worried my whole family
Dont want to do that again my husband says he thinks am very unstable at the moment am on medication it kinda helps a little i still hear voices and that on my meds but that is normal

Bulgakova

I see. May I suggest a complete avoidance of caffeine for you?

I think we often forget that caffeine is a drug. The most common, societally accepted drug out there. But a drug nonetheless, which I think may be becoming evident to you today. Some do just fine with it, but to others it can really exacerbate existing problems.

ulfr

i think you right what i might do is carry some decaff coffee
just in case the groups am going to dont have any
Yes it is a drug i forget that some time i meant 5 coffees is extreme the person making they keep giving me them maybe i should be more mindful of what am having
Had dinner pizza am full now
I hope i can sleep tonight but we dont have any groups to go to tomorrow so we just relax in the house my husband needs to go out and get my weekly meds
but apart from that we have nothing on
My brain is ticking over not as bad as i was but still a bit jittery
Am drinking water at the moment and its seems to help

Bubovski

Glad you have calmed down somewhat.
A jar of calming herbal drink could be taken to your meetings.
Life can be tough and complex.
At least you seem to know where you are at and can work on things.

gettingsmarter

Since I quit drinking I'm really really sensitive to caffine. More than 1 cup and my anxiety goes to haywire. I have to be really careful with it.

Bulgakova

Good job, Jesusfreak. Food, water and time helps a lot of panics.

Funny how sensitive a body can be... A good friend broke her ankle and got given Percocets. Turns out some 1% of the population goes psycho on that stuff.... and she was one of them. Ended up pacing the city on crutches thinking insects were crawling out of her ears. Totally sane woman, totally lost it with a single Percocet.

You never know what will hit you.