MeSoSober

So I know that Dee often reminds us of the importance of having a PLAN to stop drinking. I know there's a sticky thread with plenty of great ideas, but I'm curious about what posters here actually did do -- aside from reading and posting here, obviously.

I don't know -- just feeling like I want to have a discussion around how to build a plan and what people did. Hoping that it might help others as well, since so many of us seem to be trying to give up alcohol but don't follow through actually making a plan to do it.

Right now, reading and posting here is all I do. I have a couple of books on recovery. Journaling is something else I know I can do. And have done. And I definitely need to start eating right and walking.

Interested in hearing how others came up with their plans.

mandosca

I almost wrote a post just like this the other night. I can't wait to hear what everyone says. Thanks for asking! :-)

MeSoSober

I was hoping that someone else would post that they were interested as well. As I was typing it out I kinda thought "This whole SITE is about how to quit drinking," but I'm still interested in having a discussion about it developing an actual plan. I'm thinking it's a really big reasons why we don't stay stopped.

So thank you!!

August252015

After fighting it tooth and nail, AA. I quit drinking on Feb 22 and started going to AA. Almost 90 in 90, usually the same noon meeting at the big clubhouse near me. Gradually started going to the smaller MWF lunch group that is now my homegroup. I was very (VERY) sick when I quit - my liver dr gave me a year, 18 mo, if I didn't- so the first five weeks involved a lot of rest, trying to eat again, sleep (a LOT) and serious PAWS; I saw my GP and psych a number of times and got everyone on the same page with meds.

I took Antabuse for the first 90 days; I had a paper with me that I signed, had a witness sign and date every single day, including what time I took it. I also started Campral (anti-craving) and still take it 3x a day. I have never (not once) had a physical craving so if staying on Campral is part of why, I'll take it gladly. I am 232 days sober today.

I got my first sponsor at 97 days and the best thing she did for me was teach me foundational knowledge of the BB and get me to set a routine for daily reading, study and devotional work that I continue diligently, and keep adding to: every day I do five things (I write them down and cross them off on every single day of my weekly calendar) - HALT, devotional (right now from Keep It Simple: Daily 12 Step Meditations for Beginnings and Renewals), the daily devotional email from Richard Rohr, SR, and I read pp 85-88 and 417 of the BB. In the last two weeks, my boyfriend (who is also in recovery and began with another program, and is now coming into AA) and I have add a shared reading plan through a Bible app; we did a 7 day reading and study, and are now on a different topic for a five day plan. I would estimate that I spend 2-3 hr a day on my recovery work in some form; more if I attend a meeting, and I usually do 4-6 a week. I also have a sober tracker on my phone; I don't check it all the time but it tracks my (non) spending, and he and I can also see each others' days and chips and next ones up, etc.

I started working with my current sponsor as I was about to go into step 4 and we are moving on to 6 next.

In addition to my AA/recovery work, I work full time now; I started running again in May and completed my first few (short) races over the next few months. My first 5K is in Dec. I needed to gain weight and am still adjusting my diet to look how I want to though I am definitely the healthiest I have been in a very long time and my weight is fine.

I make sure to get my sleep and I still check myself after a lot of activity/a few really full days. I always have something to drink on hand - water (tons), Diet coke, coffee, whatever. I take naps when I need to. I generally feel great and I am continuing to learn how to take care of myself and listen to what my body and mind need.

I make plans with people I know are positive, support my sobriety, and generally deserve to be in the good life I have now. I do not spend a single minute with anyone negative, abusive in any way (including with their drinking) or who just don't want to be "good."

I volunteer. I read- a lot- and study memoirs, theological, psych, "secular" all kinds of material that can help me grow.

I spend time alone when I need to - one of my coping mechanisms to protect my emotional sobriety (which is my focus- drinking itself is not the issue) is to know when I've had "Enough" and send myself home/to bed/say no to something....I take an anxiety med as needed but use other tools to cope when things start to get to me; I can now identify the "amped up" feeling I get that indicates anxiety and stress building.

All of this is a long answer to your question. Just my experience- I can never drink again, so I do everything in my power to create a life where that would never be a choice.

Good luck to you.

mandosca

I agree! I did go to the links everyone suggested but it just seems more useful coming from someone who has been there and done it and can tell us what worked and/or didn't work for them!

D122y

I was binging every 7 to 14 days in the end.

When I quit, my anxiety went cosmic.

I thought I was going insane. I made it 80 days in that state, still freaking out, sleeping just a bit sometimes.

I got into a routine of not drinking. It involved exercise, tv, and naps.

I snacked every couple of hours.

It got better and better.

It took over a year before I got used to normal

That is why so many never make it out.

The mental healing takes a long time.

I managed drug free. I would have lost my cool job if I went to the dr. For meds.

So here I am clean and better for it.

I was a 1 day at a time dude for about 3 to 4 months...now I am a never drink again dude.

I hate booze.

mandosca

This is a really amazing story. To think that you went from being given a year to live to preparing to run a 5k is mind blowing! You are an inspiration!

SnazzyDresser

I have a list of things, moods, and situations that make me feel like drinking. Next to each, I have strategies or ways of thinking that will defuse them. By now, I rarely have to haul it out and read it, but the process of making it and thinking these things through beforehand was invaluable in my first few weeks.

And I obviously log onto SR several times every day, read most of the threads, think about how I'd handle the situations, read what the SR vets who've been sober for years have to say, etc.

entropy1964

For me recovery is mind, body, spirit, community. A good plan includes things that address all these different aspects of me. I attend AA 3-5 times a week (mind spirit community), I do hot yoga 4-5 times a week (spirit body) I run twice a week (mind body) hike once a week (spirit body). I try to eat really well (although I do have a sweet tooth), sleep 7-8 hours a night. I try to stick to a schedule (my sponsor says I'm rigid....whatever) because it helps me manage anxiety. I also try to plan my time because boredom and loneliness are sketchy for me. Reading here is just something I do first thing in the am, maybe mid day and before I sleep.

I try to take time first thing in the morning to be grateful, say the third step prayer or another form of prayer. I try to slow down and just be thankful I'm sober and commit to being sober that day. I try to say a prayer for someone I love or someone I know is hurting. If you knew me, you'd know how foreign this thinking is. But I find it really helps ground me for the day. Truly. The days I forget to do this are really less serene. Go figure.

At some point I have to fit a job in with this.....

FLCamper

August gave you a pretty good answer. I'll add a few things that helped me: while at work, I'd visualize my evening and plan it out. I'd picture myself without a drink. I also had a schedule of things for the first few days: it was all spelled out in 15 minutes increments, especially the weekend when I did not have to work. I also let myself nap if I felt like it, eat ice cream for dinner, stay up late, sleep late, etc. I read SR every day.
Hang in there - for me the first evening from 5 - 10pm was the hardest. It helped to really just get through one hour at a time.

Outonthetiles

August, you have to keep us updated on the 5k run.

SoberLifeForMe

This is a very helpful thread. Thank you to the OP for starting it.

jodc

MesoSober, thank you for asking questions and to responders, your words here are really definitive; THANK YOU!

Dee74

I think a good plan has two main platforms - support and changes.

We all need to have a good support network - with several avenues of support - and we all need to be willing to use that support when needed.

I think we also need to be willing to make changes in out life (and lifestyle) that reflects our desire to me sober.

If you drink because that's your lifestyle or that's how you be sociable, or it's how you celebrate or how you reward yourself then obviously that needs to change and you need to nut out the mechanics of that change and what you might put in its place.

If you drink for self-medication, boredom, stress, fear, anger or whatever else you need to find other healthier ways to deal with whatever the problem is.

I haven't been more specfic because...this is your plan MeSo

I really believe that making a recovery tailored to your needs is a fundamental part of recovery

not sure if you caught this in the stickies or not but there are some great ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Gilmer

One key thing I incorporated was to avoid driving past old liquor haunts.

I found shopping centers to shop at (including and especially supermarkets) that weren't near liquor stores.

Some days when I knew I was in a dangerous mood I did not go out at all.

I was open and made myself fully honest and accountable on SR.

I looked for ways in which I could be more useful and help others. Throughout my whole life I had cared mainly about myself, about how to enrich myself; the drinking was a manifestation of a sort of insatiable, grasping selfishness.

But in my effort to quit drinking, I soon realized that I needed to grow beyond myself. I appealed to my higher power and spent more time in spiritual reading and quiet meditation. Eventually I discovered greater depth, love, and awareness of beauty. I developed inner substance--benevolence toward others and the desire to give back.

One other key thing for me: I kept coming back to SR for fellowship and guidance. I really benefitted from feeling that I was part of a community--that I was not the only one in the world who had screwed up.

As you read around the board, you will see hundreds of approaches and ideas for achieving both the inspiration and the mechanics for stopping drinking.

It's really good to have you back!

CajunPrincess

This is a great thread. I'm surprised there weren't more responses. I had actually recently thought of creating a similar thread.

For the very early days of sobriety, I had to change my entire night routine because at night after work was my main time to drink. So instead I come home, take a hot bath with epsom salts and candles and my LaCroix water. I get everything ready for work the next day then crawl in bed and get on SR. Afterwards, I use that time to write in my journal, pray, read other recovery related material or just fun novels. By then, it's waaay late and time for bed.

During the day I have work which takes up a huge chunk of my time. I have a regular journal and then a recovery journal. I keep my fridge stocked with fizzy non alcoholic drinks and ice cream. I read a lot. I've started doing yoga again. I've been going to church again (the things you can do when you're not still drunk the next day!). I'm planning a trip for myself for my vacation next year.

* also meant to add that I went to an IOP for a few weeks, and I am seeing a therapist once a week. (Didn't feel like IOP helped... don't feel like therapy is either)

So far this seems to be working. Just made it to two months.

Dee74

Bumpity.

D

LSC1

I needed LOTS of plans.

My initial plan ensured I did NOT drink at home where most of my heavy drinking was done involved SR chat , the forums and AVRT.... and LOTS of dog walking...Geocaching

I then needed plans for circumstances that I knew I was going to be exposed to alcohol socially (weddings, presentation nights, birthdays, Christmas, etc) . These plans were developed by chatting with other SR members in SR chat and posting my concerns in my August class and getting feedback from others that had already experienced these circumstances and managed to do them sober. I went to a handful of AA meetings. I took up new hobbies.... these "plans" have now become a way of life...

MissPerfumado

My plan is in a little wire bound notebook.

On the 1st page are all the names and numbers of the people I can call if I ever feel I need help (as in being talked out of drinking) including my family, closest friends and my doctor. I've not had to make a call yet and I hope I never have to.

In the 2nd section is a list of the motivations keeping me sober: being of optimal health and fitness, having success and fulfilment at my job, being dependable and reliable, having good relationships with family etc. This was a great motivational tool as I could visualise the kind of person I wanted to be and I still keep that vision close to my heart.

In the 3rd section is a list of my triggers and strategies. Writing that out was a great insightful exercise. At first it seemed like my triggers went on and on but I just wrote them all down. After that I put myself in each trigger position mentally and tried to think about what I could do instead of drinking. Travel was a big source of triggers for me: sitting in the airport lounge, getting offered drinks on the plane, checking into a hotel room with a minibar etc. I thought through the strategies for dealing with each of them, like logging onto SR, playing online chess, calling someone, reading an interesting book etc. and tried to test mentally whether that would be enough to keep me occupied. Being at home alone in the evening after work was another one and like CajunPrincess, I changed my whole routine around to avoid drinking, including having a very fixed routine of what I did as soon as I came home and sitting in another room altogether (i.e. not in front of the TV).

In the 4th section is a list of the things I do daily, weekly and monthly. They include waking early, daily exercise, daily check in at SR, weekly yoga, regular phone calls to my family, regular visits to my counsellor, and so on. I have largely kept those up on a consistent basis but when I see myself slipping I know I need a kick up the rear.

Thank you for the opportunity to write this out. Just doing that has been a way of feeling all over again my gratitude that I am sober.

Lightning Bug

Here is my blog post about my plan:

Here is the gist of my recovery program. It centers around secular beliefs (please don't be offended but I do not believe in God).

DESIRE TO BE DRUG AND ALCOHOL FREE
WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
NEVER PICK UP

Treat myself well. Eat good food, take care of my body, keep in close contact with my doctor, engage in breathing exercises, practice stress management techniques, control anger, reduce workload.

Engage in complete and utter honesty - with others and with myself. Take personal responsibility for my actions. Never stop trying.

Rehab (got me sober) Continue benefitting as an alumni.

Blogging (keeps me sober)

Medication (manage depression and ADHD)
Meditation (mindfulness). Not religion based, more of mindful concentration on the Earth and life within it. Daily. I feel horrible during the day if I don’t start my morning with this
Psychological therapies like CBT, DBT, behavior modification, weekly one on one therapy

Reading of science backed theories, recovery programs, self help, addiction studies, behavior modification

Practice theories from Smart Recovery and AVRT. Big book from AA.

Soberrecovery.com(helping others, fellowship, sharing my blog posts)

One on one interactions (like emailing other addicts). I attend the SR chats on Fridays. No offense to anyone in AA/NA. I have been to AA and NA meetings many times, but it is not for me, I don't like war stories, won't be getting a sponsor, and (see next)

Step work (technically I can't get past Step 1, so I work steps out of order, like making amends, helping other addicts, maintain personal inventories, etc).

Restriction of people/places/things. I dumped my old doc who prescribed me my drug of choice, I avoid particular stores that I bought wine at, I refuse to buy beer for my husband, I won't let him keep it in the house, I stopped interacting with influential users, etc.

Have a support structure planned put in case of crisis. A phone list of people to talk to. List of online resources like urge surfing, AV slaying, etc.

Plans happening soon:

Go to Smart Recovery meetings on Wednesdays. I'm trying, but I work too much.
Evening IOP. If I can find one.
Exercise (yeah, probably not. I may be thin but I get winded huffing it up a flight of stairs.)
Stopping smoking (started in rehab,. Still can’t believe I did after a lifetime as a nonsmoker)
Stopping the energy drinks like Redbull (I abuse caffeine and I have to stop like any other drug)

That is my program. I add to it all the time.