MeSoSober

I had almost a month this past Thursday. I was driving back from the grocery store, fought the urge to stop by the liquor store, then came home and WENT BACK OUT for vodka. That's really bad. How the heck could I DO that?

What happened? I felt "up." It was a beautiful day, a work issue that had me stressed got resolved successfully, and I had Friday and the weekend to look forward to.

I don't think I had any thoughts of drinking on my way to the grocery store. I had only had very fleeting urges the rest of the time, thought I was doing a pretty good job reading and posting here and being mindful. Clearly, that wasn't enough.

As a binger, most days I don't have any real desire to drink. I need to write down a list of things to do to help me fight my urges when they hit.

Sorry everyone.

Anna

That sounds like a good plan. The more prepared you are, the better.

january161992

the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date today is being of service to others (getting out of self) where i am accountable

accountability means i will be missed by people if i dont show up for my agreed upon service position

tonight (tue) is my salvation army commitment

Delizadee

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. No need to apologize to us, forgive yourself and try again. Have you been working any kind of a plan or program in between binges? If you're just rolling along as per usual as you say you don't usually have urges, then maybe it's time to step up the game a bit more to get to taking drinking right off the table?

fred59

I went to a liquor store last week to buy vodka and I did a quick cost benefit analysis and also remembered my commitment to SR to stay sober for 24 more hours and out the door I went.
Commitment to recovery with a plan will get you through the day sober.

MeSoSober

I've been reading and posting here daily -- that's the extent of the plan. Although I don't think I came here Thursday morning. Clearly there's something more I need to do.

Algorithm

After a certain point, up, down, doesn't matter anymore. I found out that any reason, or no reason, is reason enough.

Get rid of the supply, and make a plan.

Whatever you do, don't let this escalate.

MeSoSober

You're right, Algorithm. The supply is gone.

I will turn 46 on Friday. Sobriety would be a great gift.

Fortress

You and me are in the same boat, buddy. I am planning on POSTINGPOSTINGPOSTING when the cravings come, praying, telling my wife where I am at(although, for various reasons (some my own fault, some not), she is not always supportive). I will also be planning on stuffing my face with ice cream and chocolate, because that seems to work, although, like all my other helps, when I get the cravings...I don't do it. I'll see you here when the cravings hit!!!

Gilmer

When you get the urge to get off the couch and go get the vodka, physically pause. Stand still and "play the tape through to the end."

How will you feel mentally and physically when you come down? Remember the shame, frustration, and disgust with yourself that always comes with a binge.

Then focus your concentration and will yourself to pursue a diversion: a task, a movie with popcorn, a book--even an early bedtime.

Going out does not have to be a reflex action.

dwtbd

A liar took up residence in my head. Every time I'd drive past the store , or even get home and then head back out, It'd say "last time" , sprinkled in with a little truth "yeah , we said we know it's bad, really gotta stop doing this, but .. we are already headed there so.. one last time, I swear" I never should have trusted that Liar, and never will again, It lied the last time to me too, joke's on It though, I'm determined to make that last time , the last time.

You can do this, stop believing the Liar.

TulsaGentleman

Don't go home after work. Go to a gym and exercise. Better yet, find an AA meeting that meets after you get off work and go there instead. They will understand. Take a positive action instead of going home and thinking about drinking.