Smilax

So things were going fantastically for a long while there. Not a drop to drink for 7+ weeks and doing very well. Today was a really hard one though and I'm not sure I can explain why. Extreme feelings of loneliness, and the old depression. At any rate the only reason I mention in the title that I "sort of" fell off the wagon is that I didn't choose to drink but instead went and got some Dramamine (Gravol here) and took 4 pills of that. I won't pretend it's not basically the same thing though, just a mental excuse I suppose to say I didn't drink.

D122y

Smilax,

Thanks for the post.

1. U didn't drink.

2. U didn't drink.

Dramamine....motion sickness pills?

My wife is a pharmacy tech and she thought that ws a strange drug to take to get high...?

Delizadee

I struggled right around that same point and eventually did relapse, which lasted around 6 months before I could kick it again.

I would whip out your recovery plan now, look at what's working and what's not, and look at upping your internal and external game.
What can you do in terms of reaching out to garner more support?
What can you do for yourself to build your own self up, to work at building your sober muscles, self-confidence and overall well-being?

Think about what action you can do to be prepared for a next time, or a worsening of this time, and what you can do tomorrow or even today to help yourself feel better and stronger and not let this become a full blown relapse.

Don't beat yourself up. We're all going to have our bad days. You can pick yourself back up and keep going.

Maudcat

Seconding Delizadee on this one. Look at your plan, or form a plan if you don't have one, and begin again. It's never too late. Good luck.

Dee74

Count me down as another vote for a recovery plan review - you need a plan for days like today, Smilax

How else could you have handled your/stress/feelings/fear/loneliness/depression?

D

soberclover

This is when things in my early sobriety started to get real as it was so much more then just putting down the drink. For me, I needed to get involved with counseling so I could sort out my myriad of reasons why I drank.

Thinking of you

Anna

Congratulations on 7 weeks of sobriety, and good for you for choosing to not drink today. As others have said, adding something to your recovery plan could be just what you need right now.

MLD51

That was a dangerous time for me, too, right around two months. I was still in IOP then, but graduating from 3 times a week, 4 hours at a crack, to only once a week for two hours. I thought to myself "things are going to get real now." I had to really shore up my plan to be sure I could face tricky situations and emotional upheaval without looking for easy escapes. I did a lot of hard work on the steps right about that time, went to a lot of AA meetings, asked for a lot of help. There have been other tricky times, but my toolbox is fully stocked and I can get through things that used to send me running for the wine much, much better now.

january161992

had it my whole life

thankfully ive been given tools

talking to my sponsor
asking God for help
helping others
listening at meetings

SereneEdition

Hi Smilax -

I'm glad that you are here on SR & posting.

Smilax

Well I flushed the rest of the gravol down the toilet. But not before taking more today. Stupid me. I kind of knew when I bought the box that I was going to be taking them more than just one day. I guess at least the fact that I flushed the rest is something :-(